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Trying to figure out how to act more masculine in a conservative town

Started by Adrian26, April 02, 2025, 01:22:46 PM

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Adrian26

Quote from: Devlyn on April 03, 2025, 07:35:50 AMWelcome aboard, Adrian!

Is this a typo? you're saying that you're MTF in your post. I'm not saying that it takes a lot to confuse me...but you've gone and done it!  :laugh:

Hugs, Devlyn
I'm FtM and don't check my work before I post lol thanks for letting me know

Love who you love, do what you want, and live life to the fullest. They're gonna talk about you anyways so might as well make their conversation interesting. Live as yourself, not someone everyone else wants you to be.
Te amo mi reina hermosa 4/27/2025 🤍

Sephirah

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 02, 2025, 04:01:52 PMI assumed so. Sadly, my genetics weren't on my side and I'm shorter than the female average

Adrian, that doesn't matter. It isn't altitude, it's attitude, that will go a long way. It's like trans girls thinking they're too tall to be women. Put that out of your mind, okay? That is something you can't control. And something you don't need to control. What you need to do is own your height. Make it work for you. People come in all shapes and sizes. Don't think your height disqualifies you from anything. Whatever people tell you. The fundamental thing with all this is that you own yourself. And take it from there, okay? 95% of people being who they are is belief in the fact they are who they are. The world only affects you when you let it.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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Maid Marion

It is also hard to transition in place as it is hard for folks to stop dead naming you, even if they want to help you.  It isn't unusual for people to move to more accepting places.  But, I've done a social transition without moving so it can be done.

Maid Marion

Aside from height, which you can't change, appearance doesn't count as much for a guy as for a woman.
Guys can get out of bed and off to work in fifteen minutes.

Confidence matters a lot, particularly if there are good reasons for being confident.  A  high paying job confers a lot of respect. So do valuable skills. Learning useful skills is something you do.
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Adrian26

Quote from: Sephirah on April 03, 2025, 07:00:19 PMAdrian, that doesn't matter. It isn't altitude, it's attitude, that will go a long way. It's like trans girls thinking they're too tall to be women. Put that out of your mind, okay? That is something you can't control. And something you don't need to control. What you need to do is own your height. Make it work for you. People come in all shapes and sizes. Don't think your height disqualifies you from anything. Whatever people tell you. The fundamental thing with all this is that you own yourself. And take it from there, okay? 95% of people being who they are is belief in the fact they are who they are. The world only affects you when you let it.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. I'll make sure to be my authentic self even if I'm a short king
Love who you love, do what you want, and live life to the fullest. They're gonna talk about you anyways so might as well make their conversation interesting. Live as yourself, not someone everyone else wants you to be.
Te amo mi reina hermosa 4/27/2025 🤍
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Adrian26

Quote from: Maid Marion on April 03, 2025, 07:08:51 PMIt is also hard to transition in place as it is hard for folks to stop dead naming you, even if they want to help you.  It isn't unusual for people to move to more accepting places.  But, I've done a social transition without moving so it can be done.
I love this place too much to move so I'll take some inspiration from you and keep my head up and become who I'm supposed to be right where I'm at
Love who you love, do what you want, and live life to the fullest. They're gonna talk about you anyways so might as well make their conversation interesting. Live as yourself, not someone everyone else wants you to be.
Te amo mi reina hermosa 4/27/2025 🤍
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Maid Marion

Hair loss is 80% genetic.  I had a co-worker who went bald in his 20s. That didn't stop him from getting married and having a family.  But I knew it bothered him.  But, not always.  My father had male pattern baldness but I have avoided that into my 60s!

Respect is something that guys earn, typically by being good workers.  Maybe that should be your primary goal right now?  But, for any number of reasons, you won't get that from some people.  African Americans have a lot of difficulty getting respect.
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Adrian26

Quote from: Maid Marion on April 04, 2025, 03:00:57 PMHair loss is 80% genetic.  I had a co-worker who went bald in his 20s. That didn't stop him from getting married and having a family.  But I knew it bothered him.  But, not always.  My father had male pattern baldness but I have avoided that into my 60s!

Respect is something that guys earn, typically by being good workers.  Maybe that should be your primary goal right now?  But, for any number of reasons, you won't get that from some people.  African Americans have a lot of difficulty getting respect.
Yeah sadly it's hard for minorities to get respect, myself included, but you just gotta keep your head down and work to the best of your about ability and maybe someone will realize your talent
Love who you love, do what you want, and live life to the fullest. They're gonna talk about you anyways so might as well make their conversation interesting. Live as yourself, not someone everyone else wants you to be.
Te amo mi reina hermosa 4/27/2025 🤍
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Sephirah

You seem like a very decent, down to earth guy, Adrian. If you don't get respect from people I would venture that's more about them and their own hangups than anything to do with you. Criticism always says more about the critic.

Just be you, do what you do. As I say, you seem like an affable, decent guy. I'd go with that. :) Whatever you do... don't be a dudebro. That just ends badly... for everyone. ;D
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: Adrian26

Adrian26

Quote from: Sephirah on April 04, 2025, 05:08:00 PMYou seem like a very decent, down to earth guy, Adrian. If you don't get respect from people I would venture that's more about them and their own hangups than anything to do with you. Criticism always says more about the critic.

Just be you, do what you do. As I say, you seem like an affable, decent guy. I'd go with that. :) Whatever you do... don't be a dudebro. That just ends badly... for everyone. ;D
Haha yeah, never gonna be a dudebro. Thanks for the compliment tho. Glad I'm attracting the right kind of people and you're right about what people say reflecting on them as a person. I'm always hoping I'm not being a too tough or seen as an a-hole of a guy
Love who you love, do what you want, and live life to the fullest. They're gonna talk about you anyways so might as well make their conversation interesting. Live as yourself, not someone everyone else wants you to be.
Te amo mi reina hermosa 4/27/2025 🤍
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee