Well here goes nothing. I'm Adrian, also known as Ally to the people in my hometown. I'm 17, 18 in 6 months, and just starting this journey. I've always known I was different than the other AFABs around me. I never liked the pink dresses or the newest dolls. I was always more interested in WWE and riding dirt bikes. It was more interesting to me, more adventurous than the easy female path that I was supposed to walk. But every step of the way my mother would always push me into female clothes and say "beauty is pain" and "girls don't get dirty" and stuff of the sort. I never listened to it. I knew I was more like the guys than the girls my age and I wanted to express that. Once puberty hit, everything became much more clear. I hated my period and my chest. I wanted to stay the same lanky kid. Eventually I learned to cover up and always keep a jacket on and to slouch my shoulders. I still got the guys staring at me and the girls talking about my body behing my back. It was frustrating. Once I started high school, everything kinda clicked. The reason I felt so out of place with my body wasn't because I wasn't trying to be feminine, I tried a lot, but it was because I wasn't a woman. I was a guy, just in some interesting packaging. That mindset kept me going through my freshman and sophomore year. Currently I'm in my jr year and I'm still going strong. I'm just saving up to go to college and then I'll hopefully be able to have the me that's inside on the outside. If I can't then that's alright by me. I still got to live life as a dude, just undercover
