My coming out is turning into a roller coaster ride!

[Camille58S]

Hi all!
 I just need to vent a little bit, so please bear with me. I have been socially transitioning for the past few months. Coming out really. But for me, it feels like I change a little bit with every new person that I tell. That's why I think of it as more of a transition. Today I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. I feel like I can't slow down my feminization, and it scares me a little bit. I'm seeing a therapist who has been wonderful with helping through this. But I still feel like I'm on a runaway train! Is what I'm feeling today normal during this process? Any thoughts anyone?

[Maid Marion]

It is a big jump when you come out to someone. 

There may be a desire to change more to justify what you are doing when you tell someone.

It IS a runaway freight train.  Once you start telling people you have no idea who they will tell.

It may have been easier for me it was always difficult as a short guy but much easier as a petite woman.
Clothes were impossible and now I can find just about anything I want at discount prices.

Marion

[Northern Star Girl]

@Camille58S

Dear Camille:
Thank you for posting your venting...  most all of us on the Susan's Place Forum have vented
from time to time....
            It is a good way to explore our feelings and can be a "pressure relief valve" of sorts.

When you post about what is going on in your life endeavors you
can certainly expect replies with comments and thoughts from your readers and followers.

I see from your previous postings that you have been "cross-dressing" and "transitioning"
for about 4 years now.... and that earlier this year, with prompting from other members
that have replied to your postings, that you made a good decision regarding scheduling
time with and seeing a therapist.

You had mentioned in your "venting" that you feel overwhelmed and that you feel that you
can't slow down in your transition journey.

You are not alone with your feelings regarding wanting to slow down your body changes.
While most transitioners want to have their feminization happen more quickly and they
welcome and look forward to the changes...and others like yourself do feel overwhelmed.

If you are taking Hormone Replacement Therapy you should consult with your doctor
and also your therapist regarding reducing your dosages or quitting altogether...
...this obviously completely up to you but before you do anything you really need to
have a serious discussion with your therapist.

Now that you have posted about this, I do expect that you will see helpful reply comments.

HUGS and my best wishes to you.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

[Robbyv213]

Hang in there. Just take it 1 day at a time. 1 person at a time. Not everyone needs to know you're transitioning all at once and some people may never know, you know.  Do something to get your mind off it for a little bit. Distractions can be good if they don't run our lives.

All you can do is ground yourself, think positively, and not let the chaotic energy affect you. Just about everything in life is about mindset.

I'm not saying don't feel.what.youre.feeling. were all human and that's what we're here to do, feel emotions and learn life lessons. Just be fluid like water. Feel everything but like water, like the tide comes and goes allow those feelings to come and go. Don't let the feeling sit and become stagnant like sitting water, which will really affect you mentally.

We're here to feel and learn all of life's lessons and experiences, both the good and bad. It's ok to feel what you're feeling, and when it's time release it, let it go, and return to a more peaceful mindset. It's part of the circle of life. It just sucks when you're the one dealing with it or going through it.

The highs and good days are great and seem too short, the lows and bad days seem unbearable and to last for an eternity. It is always the darkest before the light. The light is coming, just keep giving your all, even it it's only 2%, you give 💯 of that 2% and in time you will be finding yourself in better days/time.

[Pema]

Hi, Camille. I'm of the mind that we can never be certain that what another person feels is exactly what we feel or have felt, and yet there are many times when it just seems incredibly unlikely that there isn't a significant common experience.

This is all still very new to me; I just realized I'm transgender in February. Since then, I've acquired a decent starter wardrobe of (simple) women's clothes, had three laser hair removal treatments (beard), one session with a gender therapist (two days ago), and come out my mother (last week) and a few close friends. In the grand scheme of things, that all feels pretty rapid to me, but I've carefully deliberated each step and decided whether it felt right for me at that moment. I'm in no hurry.

I agree that coming out to people is very much a part of the transition, because it changes your social environment in a way that can free you to be more your authentic self. I have definitely felt excitement about telling people who I really am. After telling my mother, I thought, "OK! Who's next?" But I also recognize the value in being patient and thoughtful. I don't want to overwhelm people, and I don't want key people to find out from someone else. I also have plenty of other things going on in my life, so I don't want my evolving gender identity to eliminate those from my precious summer.

For myself, a lot of this has been a surrendering to "what is" and accepting that there's a lot that I can't control or manage the way I might want to. At times that felt unfamiliar and disorienting, and I might have described it as a runaway train. Since getting through the in-shock phase, I've felt much more like I am in charge of my destiny and I have a responsibility to steer my transition in a way that serves me well.

So... If you're enjoying the runaway train aspect of your experience, then congratulations! If you're not, you may want to slow down, breathe, and see whether there are opportunities for you to pace yourself a bit more than you have been.

And, since I'm no expert, I'll always recommend a gender therapist to help you navigate it all. It's a lot for anyone to take on.

Wishing you peace.

Pema

[Allie Jayne]

Transition just simply is a rollercoaster. We all have highs and lows, and the important thing to remember is that when you are on top of the ride, there is s scary drop ahead, but when you are at the bottom, you are about to rise up again!

Strap in, hang on tightly, enjoy the good parts, and know this ride won't last forever!

Hugs,

Allie

[ChrissyRyan]

Transition just simply is a rollercoaster. We all have highs and lows, and the important thing to remember is that when you are on top of the ride, there is s scary drop ahead, but when you are at the bottom, you are about to rise up again!

Strap in, hang on tightly, enjoy the good parts, and know this ride won't last forever!

Hugs,

Allie

Yes, eventually it will be like a level ground train ride.  Going forward in your journey and enjoying the scenery.  Every once in a while a bump or dip but mostly going forward.

Chrissy