Hi all!
 I just need to vent a little bit, so please bear with me. I have been socially transitioning for the past few months. Coming out really. But for me, it feels like I change a little bit with every new person that I tell. That's why I think of it as more of a transition. Today I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. I feel like I can't slow down my feminization, and it scares me a little bit. I'm seeing a therapist who has been wonderful with helping through this. But I still feel like I'm on a runaway train! Is what I'm feeling today normal during this process? Any thoughts anyone?

It is a big jump when you come out to someone. 

There may be a desire to change more to justify what you are doing when you tell someone.

It IS a runaway freight train.  Once you start telling people you have no idea who they will tell.

It may have been easier for me it was always difficult as a short guy but much easier as a petite woman.
Clothes were impossible and now I can find just about anything I want at discount prices.

Marion

@Camille58S

Dear Camille:
Thank you for posting your venting...  most all of us on the Susan's Place Forum have vented
from time to time....
            It is a good way to explore our feelings and can be a "pressure relief valve" of sorts.

When you post about what is going on in your life endeavors you
can certainly expect replies with comments and thoughts from your readers and followers.

I see from your previous postings that you have been "cross-dressing" and "transitioning"
for about 4 years now.... and that earlier this year, with prompting from other members
that have replied to your postings, that you made a good decision regarding scheduling
time with and seeing a therapist.

You had mentioned in your "venting" that you feel overwhelmed and that you feel that you
can't slow down in your transition journey.

You are not alone with your feelings regarding wanting to slow down your body changes.
While most transitioners want to have their feminization happen more quickly and they
welcome and look forward to the changes...and others like yourself do feel overwhelmed.

If you are taking Hormone Replacement Therapy you should consult with your doctor
and also your therapist regarding reducing your dosages or quitting altogether...
...this obviously completely up to you but before you do anything you really need to
have a serious discussion with your therapist.

Now that you have posted about this, I do expect that you will see helpful reply comments.

HUGS and my best wishes to you.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Hang in there. Just take it 1 day at a time. 1 person at a time. Not everyone needs to know you're transitioning all at once and some people may never know, you know.  Do something to get your mind off it for a little bit. Distractions can be good if they don't run our lives.

All you can do is ground yourself, think positively, and not let the chaotic energy affect you. Just about everything in life is about mindset.

I'm not saying don't feel.what.youre.feeling. were all human and that's what we're here to do, feel emotions and learn life lessons. Just be fluid like water. Feel everything but like water, like the tide comes and goes allow those feelings to come and go. Don't let the feeling sit and become stagnant like sitting water, which will really affect you mentally.

We're here to feel and learn all of life's lessons and experiences, both the good and bad. It's ok to feel what you're feeling, and when it's time release it, let it go, and return to a more peaceful mindset. It's part of the circle of life. It just sucks when you're the one dealing with it or going through it.

The highs and good days are great and seem too short, the lows and bad days seem unbearable and to last for an eternity. It is always the darkest before the light. The light is coming, just keep giving your all, even it it's only 2%, you give 💯 of that 2% and in time you will be finding yourself in better days/time.

Hi, Camille. I'm of the mind that we can never be certain that what another person feels is exactly what we feel or have felt, and yet there are many times when it just seems incredibly unlikely that there isn't a significant common experience.

This is all still very new to me; I just realized I'm transgender in February. Since then, I've acquired a decent starter wardrobe of (simple) women's clothes, had three laser hair removal treatments (beard), one session with a gender therapist (two days ago), and come out my mother (last week) and a few close friends. In the grand scheme of things, that all feels pretty rapid to me, but I've carefully deliberated each step and decided whether it felt right for me at that moment. I'm in no hurry.

I agree that coming out to people is very much a part of the transition, because it changes your social environment in a way that can free you to be more your authentic self. I have definitely felt excitement about telling people who I really am. After telling my mother, I thought, "OK! Who's next?" But I also recognize the value in being patient and thoughtful. I don't want to overwhelm people, and I don't want key people to find out from someone else. I also have plenty of other things going on in my life, so I don't want my evolving gender identity to eliminate those from my precious summer.

For myself, a lot of this has been a surrendering to "what is" and accepting that there's a lot that I can't control or manage the way I might want to. At times that felt unfamiliar and disorienting, and I might have described it as a runaway train. Since getting through the in-shock phase, I've felt much more like I am in charge of my destiny and I have a responsibility to steer my transition in a way that serves me well.

So... If you're enjoying the runaway train aspect of your experience, then congratulations! If you're not, you may want to slow down, breathe, and see whether there are opportunities for you to pace yourself a bit more than you have been.

And, since I'm no expert, I'll always recommend a gender therapist to help you navigate it all. It's a lot for anyone to take on.

Wishing you peace.

Pema

Transition just simply is a rollercoaster. We all have highs and lows, and the important thing to remember is that when you are on top of the ride, there is s scary drop ahead, but when you are at the bottom, you are about to rise up again!

Strap in, hang on tightly, enjoy the good parts, and know this ride won't last forever!

Hugs,

Allie

Quote from: Allie Jayne on July 17, 2025, 05:55:32 PMTransition just simply is a rollercoaster. We all have highs and lows, and the important thing to remember is that when you are on top of the ride, there is s scary drop ahead, but when you are at the bottom, you are about to rise up again!

Strap in, hang on tightly, enjoy the good parts, and know this ride won't last forever!

Hugs,

Allie

Yes, eventually it will be like a level ground train ride.  Going forward in your journey and enjoying the scenery.  Every once in a while a bump or dip but mostly going forward.

Chrissy

Quote from: Camille58S on July 17, 2025, 12:45:40 PMHi all!
 I just need to vent a little bit, so please bear with me. I have been socially transitioning for the past few months. Coming out really. But for me, it feels like I change a little bit with every new person that I tell. That's why I think of it as more of a transition. Today I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. I feel like I can't slow down my feminization, and it scares me a little bit. I'm seeing a therapist who has been wonderful with helping through this. But I still feel like I'm on a runaway train! Is what I'm feeling today normal during this process? Any thoughts anyone?

Can I ask you, sweetie, what is it that scares you? Normal is different for everyone. This is your journey. What is it that you think is overwhelming about it? I don't want to put words in your mouth so I'll just wait for your own feelings. Is there any one thing that you're feeling a li'l bit freaked out about or the whole thing in general?

Good question Sephirah. You are very insightful! What is it that scares me? I'm not sure fear is what I'm feeling right now. In fact, I'm really thrilled to finally be out in the open about this! But sometimes I feel that I'm losing control of my transition. Not control really. More that I don't get a chance to take the time to inhabit where I am in my journey. If that makes any sense. The people that I care about most of all know and are supportive. So maybe I should take a moment to savor that! Instead, I am telling myself to figure out what the next step should be. I'm just wondering how healthy that is.

Quote from: Camille58S on Yesterday at 07:05:28 PMGood question Sephirah. You are very insightful! What is it that scares me? I'm not sure fear is what I'm feeling right now. In fact, I'm really thrilled to finally be out in the open about this! But sometimes I feel that I'm losing control of my transition. Not control really. More that I don't get a chance to take the time to inhabit where I am in my journey. If that makes any sense. The people that I care about most of all know and are supportive. So maybe I should take a moment to savor that! Instead, I am telling myself to figure out what the next step should be. I'm just wondering how healthy that is.

Hey Camille!

A rollercoaster indeed! ... But remember, people like to ride rollercoasters to feel truly alive and in the moment!

Transition is an amazing process as it touches, and changes to some degree... much of what we have always viewed as the "set in stone" aspects of our everyday life... Who could not feel a bit overwhelmed by that, if the plunge into the many unknowns of what lies ahead feels like it is moving at a fast clip?

But... fear not!... your hands are on the steering wheel and you control the gas and the brakes! Embrace and make friends with the state of change... it will bring you many amazing discoveries and experiences that cannot be reached by other routes... Let the aspects of the old life that no longer serve you fall away and clear space for the things that do! Things that are a much better reflection of the soul within... 🌻

Don't focus on any destination right now but, focus instead on every moment and every step... the process of becoming or perhaps un-becoming the person you are not... is an incredible process... just as worthy of celebration as reaching a perceived destination... 🤗

I believe you may find as you reach destinations... you may see that they are only stepping stones to wherever you seek to go next! Enjoy it all and may all your steps forward be blessed!🙏

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

Quote from: Camille58S on Yesterday at 07:05:28 PMGood question Sephirah. You are very insightful! What is it that scares me? I'm not sure fear is what I'm feeling right now. In fact, I'm really thrilled to finally be out in the open about this! But sometimes I feel that I'm losing control of my transition. Not control really. More that I don't get a chance to take the time to inhabit where I am in my journey. If that makes any sense. The people that I care about most of all know and are supportive. So maybe I should take a moment to savor that! Instead, I am telling myself to figure out what the next step should be. I'm just wondering how healthy that is.

That is entirely understandable, sweetie. It's like a dam breaking. Once you let that lake of pent up things loose, it's like a giant raging river sometimes and you feel like you're a log on the surface, just trying to hold on. You can't put all that water back in the reservoir.

All I would say to you, Camille is that this whole thing is your transition. That's something which is easy to say, and also very easy to lose track of. Sometimes you feel like once you start, it becomes everyone else's transition instead and you feel driven by what other people feel and what they want.

Honey, as the matrix movies say "If you cannot take time, how can you ever have time?". This is very true. The world won't suddenly grind to a halt because you want to take some space to breathe and work out how you feel about things. People won't stop caring, and wanting the best for you because you want some space to just be you and work out what that means, okay? You've done the hard part. You've shown people who you are. It takes most of us a lifetime to work out who we want to be. Trans people have it harder because we have to cram two lifetimes into one.

You won't stop being you just because you want to stop and feel what being you means, okay? Take that time, Camille. Enjoy being out. Enjoy the prospect of what that means. Realise that you've taken your life in your own hands and decided where it should go. You are the skipper of your own boat. You get to decide how fast it goes, okay?

The next step, Camille, is to be okay with where you are. Don't think beyond that. Life is a series of small steps. Small journeys. If you can make one, you can make them all. But don't think about racing to the end because it can all be massively overwhelming.

I am proud of you for getting to where you are. It takes a lot to do what you've done. You deserve the right to enjoy what you have, before thinking about what else you want, okay?

You control your life, Camille. It does not control you. You've got this, sweetie. *massive hugs*

It is nice to be your true self.