Is there anything you're insecure about?

[CosmicJoke]

Hi everyone. I'm just pondering women's body expectations a little. Personally I think they are impossible to live up to.

I'm just curious what you're feeling most insecure about. Maybe it's something you feel like detracts from your possibility as a woman or something you just wish you could change?

For me personally it's my height. I am six feet tall and often stick out like a sore thumb because of it.

I guess I just try to work with that and embrace it. I hear alot that models are tall like that.

So that's just my insecurity but is there anything about your body you often feel self conscious of?

[Dances With Trees]

I only dress femme when my daughter and her partner are not at home. I putter about the house or work outside watering trees and bushes, tending our tiny garden, and living as a woman mostly inside the vast expanses of my mind. In this fantasy world, I am complete and usually happy. Then I go back to being drab: blue jeans and tee-shirts, flannel shirt jackets if it's chilly. But the woman still abides in the recesses of my mind. My body is beginning to respond to HRT and I love the changes. But I am concerned about the way my daughter will respond when she can no longer pretend I'm her father.

[Athena]

My face and my voice. Apparently I pass though.

[Lori Dee]

Hi everyone. I'm just pondering women's body expectations a little. Personally I think they are impossible to live up to.

I'm just curious what you're feeling most insecure about. Maybe it's something you feel like detracts from your possibility as a woman or something you just wish you could change?

For me personally it's my height. I am six feet tall and often stick out like a sore thumb because of it.

I guess I just try to work with that and embrace it. I hear alot that models are tall like that.

So that's just my insecurity but is there anything about your body you often feel self conscious of?

I don't consider height an issue. As you said, lots of models are tall, many celebrities are 6 feet or taller, and I have worked with women who are taller than I am at 5' 11.5". It just means we have longer legs. 

My issue has always been with facial hair. I fought with the VA many times to get electrolysis covered, and I got it approved at least three times. But there was no one there in South Dakota who could do it.

If I am going somewhere for an appointment or something, I shave very closely, then use makeup techniques to cover the shadow. It is effective, and I do not get misgendered like that.

Now that I am back in Colorado, electrolysis is available nearby, and I expect to begin that in a month or so. Good riddance after six years.

After that, I may look into scalp hair restoration. I have a nasty scar near my hairline from facial surgery. I am pretty self-conscious about that, so I am always wearing a hat, wig, or topper. In the summer heat, hair hats (as @davina61  calls them) are very warm, so I stick to baseball caps. In winter, it is nice to wear full wigs for a change of color or style.

Those are the most visible things that are difficult to hide. The next step is also to look into bottom surgery. Also, a service that is not available in South Dakota, so now it will just be a matter of financing. I have some options to explore, but I need to consult with a surgeon to get an idea of the options and cost.

None of this will change my feelings of being feminine. It is all cosmetics from my point of view. Getting these things done means less work in camouflaging the things I hate most. That saves time for more important things like gold prospecting or rockhounding. 

[Anne_lifetrip]

Hello, so, insecurities...where do I start? hahaha.

This has been me for the past years...
I

I only dress femme when my daughter and her partner are not at home. I putter about the house or work outside watering trees and bushes, tending our tiny garden, and living as a woman mostly inside the vast expanses of my mind. In this fantasy world, I am complete and usually happy.

Although, when I go on trips alone in my car, it is Anne who travels, fully dressed...and all these ghosts accompany me (in order from worst to least):
Voice: It really is becoming an issue for me and highly considering getting help. But, as a teacher, it can have its caveats and if I already have voice problems two or three times a year, surgery makes me very nervous. I am looking for a voice trainer and work my female voice and train it to withstand the classes and the academic year without failing.
Face My make up is getting better by the day, but I still have my concerns in passing. I am really considering surgery on my adams apple (although I have been told it barely comes out, but it is one of my insecurities).

I am sharing these as they are my main ones today. But, to be honest, what I do when my ghosts come out, I look around and see that there are soooo many types of women in the world that my insecurities are just mine, but I am as beautiful as any other cis women around.
Women are tall, short, fat, skinny, with long hair, short hair, big feet, small feet, big arms, small arms and many, many, more differences, and it is our conception of wanting to be perfect that makes us insecure.

As I am writing this I am grinning at myself because I remember a video I saw where women were looking at each other comparing themselves and always wanting what they did not have from the other.
"She has nice hands, I wish I had those hands", "Her hair is so bright, I wish I had her hair"..and like this by 6 different women. Doesn't happen like that in cis men.

Just to finish, I believe that insecurities are part of being a woman and wanting to be more female and prettier and better, so congrats sis. ☺️

[noleen111]

For its my hands, i have big hands, I call them my man hands. My friends tells me there is nothing wrong with the size of my hands.

The hormones has made my hands softer. I almost always wear nail polish on my hands (acrylic nails) and keep my nails long, to make them more girly. I love getting my nails done, its some nice girl time, just for me). I go to a lady, her daughter is in the same class as my daughter, in my neighborhood, who does nails from her house, I get to chat with her, while she does my nails.

[Lori Dee]

The hormones has made my hands softer. I almost always wear nail polish on my hands (acrylic nails) and keep my nails long, to make them more girly.

Wearing bracelets helps too. Long nails help make the fingers look longer (and thus thinner), nail polish, and bracelets complete the illusion. I do the same thing when I can.

[Sephirah]

Pretty much everything. But I don't really let it bother me as much as I once did because I learned a long time ago that other people are too concerned with their own insecurities to pay much attention to yours.

As an aside, if you own your height you can make it work for you. In a way you won't expect. It's when you try to hide it that you make it into something else. Don't try to hide it. Be proud of it and embrace it. How you feel about yourself radiates out to the people around you, honey. People don't really care about height, only if you look like you're living up to it. 🙂

It's the same with anything else. It's only a weakness because you're trying to appeal to the Olympic judges of your own mind. And they all have rigged score cards with zeroes on them. Because they don't want you putting yourself in situations where there's a theoretical possibility of getting hurt. It's a defence mechanism. If your own brain can make you feel so bad that you dare not show yourself then there's no possibility of anyone saying anything that could hurt you. It doesn't realise that there's also no possibility of anyone saying anything that could lift you up, either. But we don't care about that. We are evolutionarily pre-disposed to avoid harm. Not to foster love. We still have the little rat-brains that scurried for the holes when the asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. Because it's safe.

I've learned to love my flaws, because they make me... well, me.

[Lori Dee]

I've learned to love my flaws, because they make me... well, me.

Fortunately, I have no flaws because I am perfect. I am also very humble. 😁

[Jessica_Rose]

I'm 6ft 1in tall, and I know that occasionally draws some attention. After all of the surgeries I've had, I'm finally comfortable with my appearance. The only thing I'm insecure about now is my voice. I know it's much more feminine than my 'old' voice, but I sill occasionally get misgendered on the phone. My cleavage doesn't help much with that.

If you think about it, everyone has insecurities about something. Maybe they don't like their hair. Maybe they think their breasts are too small, or too large. The list is endless. I often see 'before and after' photos of others who have transitioned, and I'm jealous of how beautiful or handsome they became. Then I remember this quote:

'Comparison is the thief of joy.'

Instead of comparing myself to someone else, I look at how far I have come. When I see an old photo of myself, my brain asks 'who is that?' Of course, it asks the same question when I see a new photo of myself. When I began my transition, I looked in a mirror and told myself that I would be 'one ugly woman'. Even with that thought, I had reached a point in my life where I knew I had to try. If I hadn't given myself a chance back then, I doubt I would have survived much longer.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Lori Dee]

The only thing I'm insecure about now is my voice.

Trust me, you have no reason to be insecure about your voice. But I get misgendered on the phone all the time, too, so I get it.

Hugs!