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What I have experienced.

Started by inenidok, Yesterday at 10:30:37 PM

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inenidok

Well everyone I have not posted in a long time. A lot has happened in the years of transitioning and my surgeries. I enjoy reading through all the topics and comments. And a lot of you all are enjoying everything that has came from transitioning.
Me on the other hand. I have not had the enjoyable experiences. Since my surgery things were okay, but people in my life became very cold. So I decided to separate from my spouse. And went back to school and had a wonderful place and a good job. Then I had a terrible accident on my motorcycle. While I was in the hospital getting treatment for the accident. I ended up losing my depth which is another story. After I was released I spent a better part of a year in a wheelchair. In that time I ran out of money and became homeless, took over a 1 year to get my disability, which is nowhere enough to get a place. In this time I lost a lot of people in my life. The only person that does stay in contact with is my daughter. My step daughter has nothing to do with me at all. And I raised her from  a 1yo. I was able to find a friend that their mother allowed me to stay. But the problem is she tells everyone I am trans. Which is a big problem. I have really found isolation the best place for me at this time. I have not been in a relationship since my marriage, which I am divorced now. My daughter has informed me she is moving out of state. So that actually makes me staying here not important. So I actually have no idea where to go or what to actually do. I am definitely not an easy person to get along with sometimes. My views on things mostly clash with people. It's not really me I respect others views but they don't respect mine. So that causes a lot of issues. You can't just find a place to fit in. So for me this here is just a different hell then the hell I left. So no I have not had happy experience with my life since my accident. Don't get me wrong things was not bad after surgery. Things went crap after my accident.

But you know I looked through out the site, and never seen section to get things off your chest. The site needs a vent thread. I am done venting now!
Thanks for letting me vent
Love love, be yourself live life for you. 12/21/17 is the start of a new me

Jen T.

I wish I had some sage advice or words of massive encouragement for you. All I can do is send the biggest virtual hug that I can. I hope things turn around for you soon. 🤗 ❤️

Peace, love and happiness,

Jen

Susan

Thank you again for your kind words in your private message to me earlier.

And thank you for trusting us with all of this. It takes real courage to come back after a long time and lay out what the last few years have been like. I'm so sorry for how much was piled on after your accident. Transition can bring relief, but it isn't a shield against life—losing health, stability, and relationships all at once is more than anyone should have to carry.

None of what you went through "makes sense." When we're hurting, the people who love us should show up more, not less. You had every right to expect care and steadiness. Their withdrawal was not your fault—and it was inexcusable. On top of that, you were navigating a catastrophic event and a system that moves slowly; that would grind down even the most resilient. Being outed without your consent is not okay. You deserve full control over whether and when you share your story. How others treat you says everything about them—and absolutely nothing about you or your worth.

You also get to have complicated feelings about transition and about where life is right now. Many of us have chapters that don't look like the happy highlight reels, and it can feel like there's no place to fit. You're not alone in that. Respect should go both ways; it's exhausting when it doesn't. Wanting distance to protect your peace is understandable.

I hear how disorienting your daughter's move feels. I'm glad you still have each other—that thread matters. If and when you want to talk through options for where to go next, housing ideas, or how to set boundaries with people around you, this community can sit with you and think it through. We can also just listen while you vent. There's no one "right" timeline here.

I'm really glad you're here today. Surviving what you've survived is no small thing. Reaching out and putting words to this is a big step forward. Naming what you're going through turns a blur into concrete steps you can tackle one at a time to steadily improve your situation. Keep posting if you can. You don't have to figure everything out at once, and you don't have to do it alone.
Susan Larson
Founder
Susan's Place Transgender Resources

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Northern Star Girl

#3
@inenidok
I am very glad to see that you have started posting on the Forum again. 
It is always great joy for me to see when our members return to the site.
I am also glad that you were able to converse with @Susan ....
....here in her reply posting to you she included much wise and sage advice and counsel for you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Also in reply to your very last comment on your posting on this thread yesterday...
                    "But you know I looked through out the site, and never seen
                    section to get things off your chest. The site needs a vent thread.


          YES we do have a "VENT Topic:

                    ARGHHH!   https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,34.0.html
                    This is a place to get it off your chest! Problems or complaints?
                      Here's the place to air it out!
 

    As you just did on your posting here:

    When you share about your disappointments, discouragements, and difficulties... be prepared for
    your readers and followers here to give you our ears to listen and our shoulders for you to
    lean on. ...  and when your share your successes and achievements we will rejoice with you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Note: You and I had a brief previous comment exchange years ago in 2018 on another thread
regarding your therapy experiences. 
            https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,242367.msg2193211.html#msg2193211
I trust that you now have been able to find and experience some good productive therapy experiences.

I also trust that your recovery from your motorcycle accident has gone well and that I hope and trust
that your relationship with your daughter will be healed.


Again, WELCOME back to Susan's Place and the Forum
I am eagerly looking forward to seeing and reading your continuing postings and involvement here.

If you have any questions about the Forum always feel free to message me.

Warmly, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator   Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

cc: @Devlyn  @Lori Dee  @Sarah B  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah

Quote from: inenidok on Yesterday at 10:30:37 PMWell everyone I have not posted in a long time. A lot has happened in the years of transitioning and my surgeries. I enjoy reading through all the topics and comments. And a lot of you all are enjoying everything that has came from transitioning.
Me on the other hand. I have not had the enjoyable experiences. Since my surgery things were okay, but people in my life became very cold. So I decided to separate from my spouse. And went back to school and had a wonderful place and a good job. Then I had a terrible accident on my motorcycle. While I was in the hospital getting treatment for the accident. I ended up losing my depth which is another story. After I was released I spent a better part of a year in a wheelchair. In that time I ran out of money and became homeless, took over a 1 year to get my disability, which is nowhere enough to get a place. In this time I lost a lot of people in my life. The only person that does stay in contact with is my daughter. My step daughter has nothing to do with me at all. And I raised her from  a 1yo. I was able to find a friend that their mother allowed me to stay. But the problem is she tells everyone I am trans. Which is a big problem. I have really found isolation the best place for me at this time. I have not been in a relationship since my marriage, which I am divorced now. My daughter has informed me she is moving out of state. So that actually makes me staying here not important. So I actually have no idea where to go or what to actually do. I am definitely not an easy person to get along with sometimes. My views on things mostly clash with people. It's not really me I respect others views but they don't respect mine. So that causes a lot of issues. You can't just find a place to fit in. So for me this here is just a different hell then the hell I left. So no I have not had happy experience with my life since my accident. Don't get me wrong things was not bad after surgery. Things went crap after my accident.

But you know I looked through out the site, and never seen section to get things off your chest. The site needs a vent thread. I am done venting now!
Thanks for letting me vent

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Lilis

I'm sorry hear about everything you went through in your experience inenidok. It sounds like you went through a lot.

Welcome back to Susan's Place! 💓

And wishing you better days ahead.

~ Lilis 🌷
More about me:
Emerging from Darkness  ✨ | GAHT - 6/10/2024. ⚕️ | Electrolysis - 2/23/2025 ⚡| Progesterone - 3/24/2025 ⚕️ | Body laser - 3/26/2025 👙

"The Circle!" 🌑†🪞🔥

"I'm still exploring what it means to be me." 💭

Lori Dee

Welcome back to Susan's Place.

I, too, am sorry to hear of your troubles. But I also sense that you have an inner strength that keeps you going. Hold on to that.

It is important to remember that our lives are just a long string of experiences. We can learn from them and move forward, or stay put and stagnate. The fact that you are here proves that throughout all of your experiences, not one of them has beaten you. And they never will as long as you don't give up. Keep fighting, surviving, and making things better for yourself and those around you. Never forget that you are priceless.

Hugs!
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete

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ChrissyRyan

Hi!


Welcome back inenidok!


Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman.