Non transitioning, still transforming

[Mairen]

Hi everyone,

I'm Mairen, a transgender woman from Scotland. It's taken me decades to understand who I am — years of confusion, shame, and longing before I could name the truth that my brain and identity are female. I'm not planning to medically transition, and I don't experience dysphoria, but I've found some peace in knowing I can live as myself without needing to change my body.

No one in my offline life knows about this part of me, and for now I'm choosing to keep it private. Preserving my family life is important to me, and I'm learning to hold both truths gently — who I am, and the life I've built.

I've had some lovely affirming moments recently and I'm learning to trust what feels emotionally right. I'm here to connect with others, especially those on non-transitioning or unconventional paths. I believe every journey is valid, and I'm grateful to be in a space where that's honoured.

Looking forward to sharing and learning with you.

Mairen

[Maid Marion]

Hi Mairen,

Welcome!  I'm also not planning to medically transition either.  It is a complicated decision.

Marion

[Mairen]

Hi Mairen,

Welcome!  I'm also not planning to medically transition either.  It is a complicated decision.

Marion

Thanks Marion.  It's never felt like a realistic option for me, but I've only recently came to the understanding that I'll be able to be content in spite of that.

[Sephirah]

Avenues of expression are different for everyone, Mairen. And what is possible, or desirable for one, may not be for another. What matters most is that you can reach a place where you are happy. Whatever that involves. You are you, and wherever you take that, is a very personal thing. It doesn't change the fundamental truth.

You are very welcome here, sweetie. You are right, every journey is valid. You are valid.

*big hugs* Welcome to the site, Mairen. <3

[Mairen]

That's lovely, I really appreciate that Sephirah.  *big hugs right back*

At the moment I'm just happy that I've found some understanding of who I am, and I'm thankful for that because it's been a long time coming. 

[Northern Star Girl]

@Mairen

Dear Mairen:
I am so very glad that you felt led to register as a member. 
I am always so happy see new members arrive here on the Susan's Place Forum.

I much enjoyed reading your Introduction.... you shared things that many of our members
have experienced, so please know that you are among like-minded members here.

I am wishing you a WARM WELCOME...

As you feel the freedom to share and post more of your thoughts here, you will undoubtedly find
like-minded members here that may become your Forum friends.

This website is huge, with a lot of information from Real People who have lived through these things for decades.
There is much wisdom here. Feel free to browse, learn, and share your experiences too. We all learn from each other.
 
Clicking the HOME  Button on any page will take you to where you can see and visit the many
sub-forums and TOPICS here on the Forum and you can feel free to comment and share your experiences. 
Each sub-forum has a description of what that sub-forum board is about, as well as any guidelines for posting.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.
Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

You will find the Forum to be a Safe, Friendly and Accepting place that you can share
whatever is on you mind... it is your safe refuge.... without any judgement from our members.

If you have any immediate questions regarding the Forum please feel free to contact me at
my Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

My Warmest Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

Note: Please be certain to take the time to look over the following LINKS, especially the Links in RED, that will inform you of the important Rules here on the Forum that will help you to navigate safely around our site.
                  Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By
• Standard Terms & Definitions
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
• News posting & quoting guidelines
• Photo, avatars, & signature images
• Site Policies and stuff to remember
• Cautionary Note
• Membership Agreement

cc:  @Lori Dee  @Sarah B  @Devlyn @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah                           
@Susan

Hi everyone,

I'm Mairen, a transgender woman from Scotland. It's taken me decades to understand who I am — years of confusion, shame, and longing before I could name the truth that my brain and identity are female. I'm not planning to medically transition, and I don't experience dysphoria, but I've found some peace in knowing I can live as myself without needing to change my body.

No one in my offline life knows about this part of me, and for now I'm choosing to keep it private. Preserving my family life is important to me, and I'm learning to hold both truths gently — who I am, and the life I've built.

I've had some lovely affirming moments recently and I'm learning to trust what feels emotionally right. I'm here to connect with others, especially those on non-transitioning or unconventional paths. I believe every journey is valid, and I'm grateful to be in a space where that's honoured.

Looking forward to sharing and learning with you.

Mairen

[Northern Star Girl]

@Mairen
Dear Mairen:

Based on your posted subject in your Introduction post you may be interested in taking a
look at the following sub-forum board.

                  Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning
A board for trans people of any stripe dealing with the trials of non-transitioning or detransitioning at the moment or ever.

click link--->   https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,487.0.html

Any questions please feel free to ask...

HUGS and my best wishes to you as you continue on in your journey.
Danielle[Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator    Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

[Mairen]

Thanks Danielle, I will definitely have a look through the forum.  Already I've read of experiences similar to my own.  Loving the vibe here 💗

[Sephirah]

We try to make the site welcoming for everyone, Mairen. Whoever you are and whatever you're dealing with. There's no judgement here. You can just explore how you feel and what that means for you. There are plenty of folks who understand what you're going through, and will be only too happy to reach out. Have a look through all the forums, see what vibes with you, and get stuck in. You're safe here, okay? 🙂

[Alana Ashleigh]

Hi Mairen,

I felt the same way as you did when I realized I was transgender. I did up eventually getting on hormones down the road. My journey has been completely unconventional as well.

Glad you're here

Alana

[Lori Dee]

Welcome aboard, Mairen!

Thank you for that wonderful introduction.

Each person's path is their own to walk, and no one can criticize us for our decisions. It is your life, and no one will live it for you. There are many reasons people decide that medical transition is not for them, health, finances, family life, etc. Any decision you make for your own well-being is for you and you alone to decide.

We often have new members come here undecided and looking for answers. We don't push them in any direction, but offer support to help them decide for themselves. There is no judgment here.

We look forward to seeing you around the forums. Feel free to add your comments and experiences too. We all learn from each other.

Welcome to Susan's Place!

@Mairen
@Sarah B

[Sarah B]

Hi  Mairen

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

Thank you for sharing so openly.  Finding words for yourself after years of confusion takes courage.  Choosing not to medically transition can also be the right path.  Contentment without dysphoria is real.  Your privacy and your family life matter.

Small affirming moments can add up.  Clothes that feel right, a name or pronouns that fit in safe places and gentle self talk.  Take each step at your own pace.

You will find many here with similar paths.  The Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning board has thoughtful threads.  Jump in wherever feels comfortable.

I am glad you are here.  You are valid, you are welcome, you are not alone.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Mairen

[Maid Marion]

Presenting female allows a better connection when talking to other females about the difficulties of life. Oh no, my membership dues check is in my other wallet. I switched wallets because of the tiny pockets. I was carrying a Victorias Secret purse but don't put my wallet in it.  Or talking about adapting potluck recipes to be gluten free.  Next time I'm switching the soy sauce to gluten free Tamari sauce.

Marion