You know, in the last month or so a lot of my insecurities have seemed to go away. I keep looking in the mirror and saying, "Hey, I think that I actually do look good!"
It's kind of weird, I'm not even wearing make up much anymore, unless I'm going out. I was going out to a party looking with my cap on, no make up, a tank top, and jeans. All I got was a couple of people asking me, "So, are you a lesbian?" I ended up meeting a bunch of new people, and it had a fun time. It's a very free feeling not to have insecurities in the back of your mind.
With time, I've found I've become more and more confident in my womanhood. It's been ages sit I sat there and thought that I looked like a boy, and I haven't even thought of FFS at all. I don't go out anymore wondering if I look boy-ish at all, I don't question myself at all these days. My roommate pointed it out by saying, "You know what you haven't asked me in a long time: If you looked boy-ish." And she was right. I also haven't been giving her boob updates, either. I just find I'm not thinking about trans stuff at all anymore. The most recent thought is surgery, but now that my appointment is over I just haven't been thinking about it much. Over all, I'm just living life and it seems pretty normal, but comfortable at the same time.
So, anyway, it's a good feeling over all. I think that hrt, time, and confidence has helped me and it's great.
--natalie
