I've tried following Susan's how to, along with a couple of other sites, but just can't seem to do it right.
Where exactly do the testes go

If I put them between my legs , they bother and/or hurt when I walk or try to sit, If I try to put them up, I'm left with two 'mounds' that don't hide under anything.
I don't seen to have a problem with the penis but these darn testes are killing me.
Here is what I did
I had two pair of size 5 briefs at the knees, ready to pull up, tape cut and handy. I proceded to pull all excess skin from the scrotum and wrapped the skin arround the penis and taped, tried to push my testes up, (the only way to describe it is, they went under my skin right beside the base of the penis) then tucked the penis/skin taping between my legs and pulled up the panties....
and....
it looked like I had boobs in my crotch area. I also tried this using size A control top pantyhose as described, again same results.
I've heard of there being 'holes' where the testes can push up into, but I'll be damned if I can find them. Is it because I have very little bodyfat, 5'9", 143 lbs or

I can't afford (and don't know if I want to/am ready yet for) surgery, but swear to god, sometimes just want to grab the butcher knife and chop the darn things off

.
Please help me figure out what I'm doing wrong