I'm almost 27 year old guy from Scandinavia and I know I'm a woman inside.
This came very clear to around the age of 15 when I went through a gender identity crisis. After a while I ended up pushing it all to the back of my mind and focused on being a boy. It has surfaced itself time after time but I've always ended up pushing it back. Just recently it has come back hard and I'd give so much to wake up the next morning as a woman. But this isn't a Hollywood comedy.
I remember that I liked to play with girls when I was younger. Even stayed to play with a friend's sisters when he went to hang out with his crew. Now it's all clear to me. I can't deny it. I am a woman inside. No question about it. But the question is, now what?
I'm a pretty ok looking guy so I'd probably get a nice girl to build a life with if I just continue like this. Last relationship lasted over 7 years and ended about 8+ months ago. But if I don't do anything, I know I'll regret it later in life. I kinda regret now that I didn't do anything at 15. This makes sense to me on an intellectual level but otherwise, I'm very scared.
Taking hormones and developing breasts and a more womanly body sounds fantastic to me but still I'm afraid of many things. I don't want to end up an ugly woman. I have big feet, big hands, I'm very tall, broad shoulders, longish head, manly facial features... Hard to see a woman in the mirror. Some friends know I'd prefer to be a woman but if I started down that path, I don't know how to handle it all, especially facing my parents. Then there's all the possible costs that come with it like hair removal, medication, etc. I'm a University student and I barely get by as it is. I'm torn back and forth between desires and fears.
I've thought about seeing a psychologist about it all. Actually a friend suggested it because I've been very depressed for a long time, nothing motivates me, I feel like I have failed in life and I have nothing to grasp onto. But meeting one is scary too. I probably have to if things keep going the way they do. My studies keep failing and It's hard for me to find a job. Something needs to change. Luckily I have my bunny to keep me company here so I'm not all alone.
That's pretty much the setup for whatever adventure I'll be having from now on. I've been reading posts here and found much information and also some courage. Glad to be here.
