I'm almost 27 year old guy from Scandinavia and I know I'm a woman inside.

This came very clear to around the age of 15 when I went through a gender identity crisis. After a while I ended up pushing it all to the back of my mind and focused on being a boy. It has surfaced itself time after time but I've always ended up pushing it back. Just recently it has come back hard and I'd give so much to wake up the next morning as a woman. But this isn't a Hollywood comedy.

I remember that I liked to play with girls when I was younger. Even stayed to play with a friend's sisters when he went to hang out with his crew. Now it's all clear to me. I can't deny it. I am a woman inside. No question about it. But the question is, now what?

I'm a pretty ok looking guy so I'd probably get a nice girl to build a life with if I just continue like this. Last relationship lasted over 7 years and ended about 8+ months ago. But if I don't do anything, I know I'll regret it later in life. I kinda regret now that I didn't do anything at 15. This makes sense to me on an intellectual level but otherwise, I'm very scared.

Taking hormones and developing breasts and a more womanly body sounds fantastic to me but still I'm afraid of many things. I don't want to end up an ugly woman. I have big feet, big hands, I'm very tall, broad shoulders, longish head, manly facial features... Hard to see a woman in the mirror. Some friends know I'd prefer to be a woman but if I started down that path, I don't know how to handle it all, especially facing my parents. Then there's all the possible costs that come with it like hair removal, medication, etc. I'm a University student and I barely get by as it is. I'm torn back and forth between desires and fears.

I've thought about seeing a psychologist about it all. Actually a friend suggested it because I've been very depressed for a long time, nothing motivates me, I feel like I have failed in life and I have nothing to grasp onto. But meeting one is scary too. I probably have to if things keep going the way they do. My studies keep failing and It's hard for me to find a job. Something needs to change. Luckily I have my bunny to keep me company here so I'm not all alone.

That's pretty much the setup for whatever adventure I'll be having from now on. I've been reading posts here and found much information and also some courage. Glad to be here.

Well atleast welcome to Susans, where you may find some comfort, help..and even discussion ^^ 

I am 23,  from Holland , and a TG

Hi,

I would call you by your screen name, but I have an aversion to using that particular word to address anyone.

Welcome to Susan's and I hope you continue to enjoy reading and will post more so we can all get to know you, so to speak, and you us.

Please be aware of and abide by the site rules and terms of service: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html

You may also want to use the Chat and Wiki features.

I hope that your search for who you are and how you fit into this world are successful and fulfilling.

Nichole

Hello there and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay

tink

Hello, Fool, and welcome to Susan's.  I waited for 46 years to do anything about my transsexuality so in that regard I might be a fool myself.

Can you find a gender therapist or a counselor on-campus in whom you can confide?  That would be the first step I would recommend.

As for what you think are drawbacks with your face and and your body's symmetry, Grandmother Estrogen can do marvels!

I hope that this helps.

Wing Walker

Thank you everyone.

I told some of my closest friends about my situation and how serious I am about it (decided I really do need to transition). They've been cool about it and supportive. One of these is my ex and she seems to be willing to help me all I need. So I can get some female advice from there. I arranged to meet my parents next Sunday and I plan to talk to them about it. Really nervous about that one.

I learned more about how the thing is handled in my country. I need a referral from a doctor to a bigger hospital which has all the specialist. There's a long line though. From 6 months to even a year or more. Then begins 6 month long "study" period in which I see some people, talk and all that. They make sure I'm not making a mistake and that I can manage the transition. If they say I'm good to go, I start taking hormones and begins about a year long trial period in which I'm to live as a woman 24/7. The hormones are almost completely free and I get free hair removal (after I start taking hormones), my adam's apple gets reduced and voice thingy surgically tightened for free and later if all goes well even the final operation is free. Well there's a basic hospital visiting fee which is practically nothing. All this is covered by basic health care. So costs would mainly go to traveling there, female stuff like wig, clothes, etc. So not too screwed there. Though I still need to find more money because I don't have much atm.

So I'm going down the path of transitioning. I don't see any other choice anymore. If nothing else, my life will be pretty interesting and exciting, even if a bit scary. Can't really call it dull. 

Tervehdys ja tervetuloa Susaniin.

Quote from: Lisbeth on February 19, 2008, 12:04:01 PM
Tervehdys ja tervetuloa Susaniin.

Damn, I'm busted. >__<" Yeah, I'm Finnish.

Kiitos.

hello, elcome t'site.
I went to see spamalot last week and they have the Finland Fisch Slapping dance, an interpretation of here.

Quote from: fool on February 19, 2008, 03:26:51 PM

Quote from: Lisbeth on February 19, 2008, 12:04:01 PM
Tervehdys ja tervetuloa Susaniin.

Damn, I'm busted. >__<" Yeah, I'm Finnish.

Kiitos.

You're not the first Finnish transperson I've known.     I hope you'll like it here.