common characteristics

[Chaunte]

Here are my comments...


Severe clinical depression
- I don't know about severe..., but depressed.

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
- I know just how to do it...  Fast.  Quick.  And gives me a chance to see if the tri-flux capacitor is... fluxing.

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
- It was MUCH worse before the internet!  I would say I have lots of acquantences, but only a handful of close Friends.  Read Kipling's "The Thousandth Man" for my definition of a Friend with a capitol "F".  

Shyness
- Somewhat.  I would call myself an extroverted introvert.

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
- My appearance never seemed right...  That is, until I grew my hair out and let the woman inside show herself.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
- Weight.  I used the excuse that I substitute food for sleep while I grade papers.  I think the truth is clsoer to being part of a denial mechanism.  (If I can't look attactive, I can't be a male-to-female cd/tg/ts.)  Now I am paying the price for that...

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
- Depends on the topic.  Very hard to discuss sexuality with others for fear of saying too much and reveal my female self.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
- Not the doom & gloom type.  However, the future is often just a few years down the road, not half a lifetime away.  Retirement is beyond my comprehension.

Inattention to appearance
- In male mode, absolutely.  I live in the business-casual look at school.

Delayed or late onset puberty
- Nope.

Well above average intelligence
- I would like to think so.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
- Does being a physical scientist count?

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
- I try.  Some days, I am more trying than others.
- Seriously, the older I get, the more tolerant I find myself.  I found myself homophobic as a teen.  Maybe because it was because I was denying the inner struggle I was already going through?

Almost never criminals
- Outside of a DWI, I am clean.

I seem to see a pattern in the data.  Any psychologists want to share their thoughts?

Chaunte

[stephanie_craxford]

Severe clinical depression

Nope never

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts

Had the thoughts, but then I think every one has done that

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone

I have few close friends, but I don't consider myself isolated

Shyness

Nope

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos

Nope

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities

Nope, but I have had dangerous jobs

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others

Nope

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future

Nope

Inattention to appearance

Nope - my wife is under orders to bash me on the head if I try to leave the house wearing sweats, unless I'm running 

Delayed or late onset puberty

Too long ago to remember 

Well above average intelligence

I thought I was but my wife will debate that one 

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.

Nope - but I do have my hobbies

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.

Yes - Very

Almost never criminal

Yes

[Sophie]

Severe clinical depression
-- Nope...

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
-- Only very occasionally.

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
-- Very true... I like being by myself.

Shyness
-- Also very true, except around people I know well.

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
-- Very true... pictures are just... bad...

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
-- The second one is quite true, but not others.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
-- True, I tend to keep emotions to myself.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
-- Not really.

Inattention to appearance
-- Yeah, I don't care much.

Delayed or late onset puberty
-- Only slightly.

Well above average intelligence
-- Well, I am quite smart... I don't know about the "well above average" though.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
-- Yeah, I like puzzles. And video games.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
-- Very true, I can't stand narrow minded people.

Almost never criminals
-- Well, never done anything really illegal and don't intend to... so yeah.

More tender and nice than other men
-- I don't know if this one applies to me as FTM, but I am nice to most people.

Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
-- Hmm, I'm not very strong, so yeah.

Less competitive
-- I'm usually not competitive.

Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society
-- I hate it sometimes, it definitely has a lot of flaws.


This was interesting, I agree with loads of these.

[Shelley]

Another CD's answers for the pot.

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts

No not for me

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone

Enjoy time alone but also needs family. Very few close friends just aquaintences

Shyness

Not really

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos

Not really

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities

Is firefighting dangerous? Then no

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others

Very much so.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future

Only occasionally especially if verbally attacked

Inattention to appearance

Not really

Delayed or late onset puberty

Don't think so. Still immature at times. Specially with 'Dad' jokes

Well above average intelligence

Like to think so and do well in IQ tests

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.

Technical vocation yes

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.

Very  much so except those who are intolerant themselves.

Almost never criminals

Not me.

Hope this helps

Shelley

[RachelW]

Severe clinical depression
Yes.

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
One attempt, and I am eternally grateful to the army of EMT's, doctors, and nurses that saved my life.

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
Yes.

Shyness
Dreadfully so.

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Yes.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
Inattention to health issues, and some cutting, but I can't say yes to having dangerous jobs or activities.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Definitely.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Yes.

Inattention to appearance
Yes, but I'm also a computer programmer, which I think is a more likely explanation for this one.

Delayed or late onset puberty
Not that I'm aware of.

Well above average intelligence
I hate describing myself as having above-average intelligence... but, yes.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Yes, I'm a programmer, and hold a commercial pilot certificate.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
Yes.

Almost never criminals
I had some trouble with the law as a teenager, but I've since become an upstanding citizen.

[RachelW]

Hehe... sorry. Rikku fits my personality better anyway. She's far more mischievous.  >

[Jessica]

Severe clinical depression
Yes, Diagnosed, Took Paxil which didn't do any good

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
Yes

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
Yes

Shyness
Yes

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Yes, very much so with the avoiding pictures and videos.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
Destructive Behavior - Yes
Inattention to Health - Yes
Dangerous Job - Used to, but not anymore

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Not an inability, I don't because I don't want to be judged or rejected.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
You mean the endless cycles of workweek - weekend followed by inevitable death?  No, I can envision the future pretty well.

Inattention to appearance
Yes

Delayed or late onset puberty
I don't remember

Well above average intelligence
I have been told that and my academic record seems to confirm it.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Computer Programmer with a B.S. in computer science.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
I would like to think I was tolerant towards everything except blatent adherence to ignorance.

Almost never criminals
Never

Jessica

[cjbutterfly]

Severe clinical depression: well never severe, and not allways attributable to being trans.

Suicidal thought plans or attempts. Yes to this one, mine would have been spectacular, but would have seriously affected a few peeps as well

Isolation few close friends, spends time alone. Yes to this one, but usually totally immersed in some daydream or another

Shyness. Introverted yes, but not necessarily shy

Hatred of appearance avoiding mirrors pictures videos A yes to this but not so bad after the op, strangely enough, I can stand my self long enough to put my slap on, and sometimes think I even look quite nice.

Slap is still a defence somewhat tho'.

Self destructive behaviour, I won't go into details, but yes here too

Feelings of doom, and gloom...not so much for this one at all, tho I do tend to be perssimistic, it's so much better that way when things come out right.

Inattention to appearance..I want to say not any more, but when going to work, I don't give a, well you know....what I look like

Delayed onset of puberty. my voice never broke at all, it's allways been the same, as I remember, but that's just a few years ago now.

Well above average intelligence...IQ of around 125 draw your own conclusion

The next one is too much to type but yeah I do sometimes immerse myself in such things, I love puzzles, crosswords, etc, sometimes have trouble with the really cryptic ones, which I find frustrating.

The last two, well firstly being in a group that is subjected to discrimination, specially when you've crossed over from one that doesn't, makes you notice it all the more, and you tend to be more sympathetic.

Lastly am honest as the day is long, it's a cross I have to bear sometimes.

[Tiffanie]

Severe clinical depression
Not diagnosed and probably not severe, but very possible

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
Many thoughts, several plans, no sincere attempts

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
Yes ... very few close friends

Shyness
Not as much as before.  My job requires me to talk a lot to large groups, but I'm still shy in social settings

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Absolutely

Self destructive behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
No bad behavior since my son was born, but I still don't go to the doctor even when I should.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
It's even hard for me to talk about happy feelings ... everything is buried very deep.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Often, but I can't talk to anyone about it 

Inattention to appearance
Socially yes, at work no.

Delayed or late onset puberty
I don't believe so

Well above average intelligence
Not a genius, but intelligent.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Yes

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
Brother in law is black,2 best friends are gay ... I think so 

Almost never criminals
Never, unless you count my drug doing days being criminal.

Overemotive...
Nobody ever really knows what I feel, but I am very sensitive.

Not very interested in sex...
Can't quite agree, but it is not an incredibly high priority

Very imaginative...
Incredibly.  So is my son, we get ourselves laughing when we go on some of our strange tangents   

Insecure
Incredibly

More tender and nice than other men.
Everybody tells me that.

Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
Didn't fight much, felt bad for what I had done when I did.

Less competitive
I am competitive, I like to win, but I don't want to crush my opponent ... I'd rather have fun.

Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society
Like somebody else said, I don't dislike all of society just certain groups.

This was interesting, almost a little creepy.  It was like someone has been watching me and was taking notes.

[Lori]

hello,


I am compiling a list of common characteristics that many unmitigated transsexuals share from my own experiences and thru research. I understand that everyone is/was different but i see many common threads.

I am interested in everyones opinion on what i have so far. I in no way mean to imply that all should have some or all of these traits. If i have left something out or included something you disagree with please let me know. Again these are traits shown before deciding/starting transition not after.

Thank you     beth

Severe clinical depression, Yes

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts, Several Times

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone Pretty much Very accurate. There are times when I can get out of my slump and interact with people. Then a alot of times I just want to be home and not do anything or be bothered.

Shyness, not typically, I can start a conversation. I do feel insecure and shy in social settings but warm up after a few drinks.

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos I hate looking in the mirror, I have very few pictures of myself and non on display. I have one picture of me from childhood my dad emailed me when I talked to him for the first time in 19 years. I think I deleted it. I do not like seeing myself in pictures at all.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities No not really. I have been told by some that I am more of a guy and when they think of a guy guy, they think of me. I hunt and fish and ride motorcycles, and try to blend in. I dont have health issues, nor a dangerous job (maybe when I was in the Army. I do not feel my activities are excessive..

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others I suppose that is true, you cannot talk about how you really want to be a woman to just anybody.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future Certainly true, in fact I feel the world is going to end in 2012, and post on other forums that predict things such as global warming and climate change. I feel all the time that something bad is going to happen.

Inattention to appearance I am, for lack of better words, a slob. I dont tuck in my shirt, I wear jeans and I only buy shirts that button and are almost the same style. I hate shopping for clothes and basically wear the same thing/style so I dont have to worry about what I am going to wear and worry about how I'm going to look.

Delayed or late onset puberty I didnt start shaving until after 21. When I went into the military I weighed 125 lbs and had to be put on a program to gain weight. They did not want me until I weighed 135. I really didnt start developing until 25.

Well above average intelligence I've been told I'm smart by people that were intelligent (Drs and other professionals), just how do you judge somebodies IQ without offically testing it? I feel I am not ignorant, and I suppose you could judge intelligence by reading some of my posts. I scored a 137 on the last IQ test I remember taking. Is that above average intelligence?

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations. That is probably the most accurate way to describe me and who I am. I work on computers, networks WAN/LAN, lasers (ruby rod, neodinium yag), thermal imaging systems, aircraft avionics, and have played every decent first person shooter to ever come out since Spear of Destiny and Doom 1. I still do, and am Playing FEAR now..I just finished Quake 4, Doom 3, Half Life 2, Far Cry, and Unreal II (awful)

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc. I am very tolerant, non bigoted and I love gay people. They are so fun and accepting of everyone.

Almost never criminals I have a clean record, no arrests, do not drink, and I am clean

Overemotive I have been told by so many people, friends and relatives "I cannot figure you out"


Not very interested in sex I like to have sex, I just didnt do it until I was almost 20. I had chances in High School but was very confused and wasnt sure what to do about things

Very imaginative Excessively

Insecure Incredibly. I'm always second guessing and asking if I hurt somebody or if they are mad at me.

More tender and nice than other men. I get in trouble all the time for touching and hugging, I'm very sweet.

Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it. Didn't fight at all. I've had my butt kicked several times and could never fight growing up. I do not like confrontations and it takes extreme measures to get me mad.

Less competitive I am competitive. I like to win but rarely ever did.

Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society Like somebody else said, I don't dislike all of society just certain groups. I guess maybe I just dont understand it would be more correct.

[Melissa]

I need to reply to this too, since I didn't the first time around.

Severe clinical depression
Check

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
Check

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
Check

Shyness
Check

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
I never thought about this much, but I seem to coincidently be absent from a lot of photo opportunities.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
I didn't see a doctor for years.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Check

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Check

Inattention to appearance
Sadly, yes.

Delayed or late onset puberty
No, I was on time, except for hair growth.  It wasn't until I was over 20 that I was able to grow a beard, but then again, my brother also had the same deal and he's no TS.

Well above average intelligence
Let's see.  Is an IQ of 161 considered high? 

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
All the time.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
No problems accepting others.

Almost never criminals
If you don't count computer crimes , then yes.

Melissa

[Kate]

Severe clinical depression
I'm pretty cheerful *except* for this litttle gender issue thing. I think the TSism created an, err, unique sense of humour to deal with most issues.

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
Thoughts only, and only recently. The previous 40 years were free of suicidal thoughts. If I off myself, I never get to be a girl!

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
Yes. I'm extremely introverted and introspective. I'm a loner and dreamer. Most of my friends ARE from my (lucid) dreams in fact, lol. That's kinda sad, isn't it?

Shyness
Yup. I'm awful in social situations. Never know what to do or say. I prefer to be alone. I LIKE people, but they tend to lose interest in me quickly for some reason. Probably something to do with the previous question

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
LOL, I avoid them like the plague, and HATE seeing myself. Good luck finding ANY pictures of me, ever. My wife even jokes that I'm a vampire, as I somehow manage to avoid appearing in all photographs.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
Nah, I'm pretty good about health and danger.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
I used to have difficulty. Lately, I just pour my heart out onto the floor and sob at a moment's notice. It's quite a mess.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Again, this wasn't so bad until recently. Now I can't see past the next few months, as this transitioning possibility is blocking my view. I'm also with Lori on the 2012 thing. I've been counting down to that for 30+ years now.

Inattention to appearance
It's always a conflict between hating to see myself, yet hating to look bad. So I try, but it's funny. I only look in the mirror with quick peeks, just enough to do what I need to do.

Delayed or late onset puberty
Ya know, you just made me realize why my body looks weird to me: because it that of a BOY, not a man. Oh sure, the anatomy is fine, but I'm oddly thin, non-muscular, no chest hair, sparse beard, and small in physique. People at work have started making fun of me lately, as I guess it's becoming even more incongruent as time goes on.

Well above average intelligence
I used to think so... then I read Melissa's post Yes, but mostly in language/reading type things... I'm awful at hard math and logic. But I can find connections and relationships in things. I live and swim in a world of myth and metaphor, not truths and facts.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Does computer programmer count? I LOVE figuring things out. I'll literally obsess over something for YEARS until I exhaust every resource. Zen buddhism had me going for quite some time, lol. But this is why this TS thing is driving me insane - I just can't explain it.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
Hey, I'm a gemini: the perfect diplomat, always trying to see all sides of an issue. Which kinda makes ya wonder about this Tsism thing...

Almost never criminals
I'm obsessed with honesty and integrity, and always have been. It's become something of a religion. I don't always live up to my ideals of course, but I try. I'm the kind of nut who scoops up spiders and lets them loose outside.

Kate

[jan c]

ok - wasn't around for this the 1st time, this is a really good list of characteristics.

Severe clinical depression
until recently*; I receive money from the feds for this.

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
w. one sincere, albeit laughable attempt

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
IN EXTREMIS

Shyness
yep, painfully so

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
I will use indirect lighting to even look in the bathroom mirror for instance. Pics? don't even show me one.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
I do not have a doctor; I was a bike messenger in SF CA for years.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
until recently*

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
actually no; have envisioned many possible futures. A failure of imagination is something i would hate to be accused of.

Inattention to appearance
until recently*; god what a slovenly beast...

Delayed or late onset puberty
oh JEEZ; a puberty that lasted over a decade; which at the outset was ambiguous at best - the secondary male characteristics were chemically accelerated, which seemed to have the effect of mitigating the other. Great, now i get to do it over again. No problem.

Well above average intelligence
here I quote Bukowski: "I am a f*&^$ genius and nobody knows it!" (per IQ I have scored from 130 to 160 in range, which tends to call into question the validity of testing somewhat...)

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
I am a composer of music. I use a network of computers to orchestrate and record this insanity.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
check.

Almost never criminals
WE-E-LL... actually most of my crimes were musical. [if yer curious, EG: google my birth name (in my intro) with the keywords 'avant-garde guitarist'] I have noticed the emphasis on honesty in these posts; i was always stringently honest as that criminal.

{*: the asterix indicates a profound change in these traits since my epiphany}

[umop ap!sdn]

Severe clinical depression
It didn't used to take a lot to get me feeling down... still doesn't I guess, but don't think it qualifies as "severe", nor have any idea what qualifies as "clinical".

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
Can't say the thought never crossed my mind back in my teen years, I thought who on earth would actually want to be that thing I saw in the mirror.

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
LOL, I sit at the computer all day. All my friends are people I know from online.

Shyness
Yup.

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Oh goodness yes!

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
Self apathy more than self destructiveness.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Sometimes, but usually not so much.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Again, more of an apathy towards my own continued existence - otherwise, no not really.

Inattention to appearance
Yeah I slacked off a lot, LOL.

Delayed or late onset puberty
Voice didn't start to get lower until around 15, facial hair not until sometime after 20.

Well above average intelligence
I've always had a technical/scientific mindset, and people always thought I was smart. Little did they realize that this kid knew beans about all the complex math involved and was only memorizing the "really cool" aspects of science. But I dunno, sometimes I do comprehend things in a way that others don't seem to (or don't let on that they do).

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Another programmer here. Also see my previous answer.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
I think for me this had more to do with upbringing.

Almost never criminals
Check.

[anustacey]

severe clinical depression
      i have gone through cycles of depression for as long as i can remember
suicidal thoughts
    until most recently i had never gave suicide more then a passing thought as it was just something that never solves any problems. but with the way the stress and other factors in my life building up in my life it has become a thought that has started to scare me.
isolation, few close friends
     absolutely yes i have always had very few people in my life that i could or would consider close friends
shyness
yes again, alot of times its hard to get more than i few short words out of me
hatred of appearance
    i have been deliberately ignoring my appearance for many years
self destructive behavior,inattention to health issues
    yes again especially with the inattention to health issues
inability to discuss deep feelings
it has always been hard for me to talk about any of my feelings
inattention to appearance
   check mark for the positive response again
delayed puberty
  not sure of this one
above average intelligence
  i like to think so at times,i have a 4.0 going at school right now
immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration
i am definately a long time gamer and book worm, i have used books to hide behind for so long that they have become some of my closest friends
tolerance for others
  absolutely i have never understood it when other people started to froth at the mouth with hate
criminal activities
does a couple speeding tickets count
overemotive
yes i find it very hard to stop myself from crying at times
not very interested in sex
for me it has always been so whats the big deal about it
very imaginative
it has always been easy for me to put myself into a story so deeply that i think that i am traveling with the story characters
insecurity
that seems like it should be a major part of my name
more tender then most other men
definately yes
less likely to fight,unless pushed into it
  i have always hated physical violence, i even have problems with verbal abuse
less competitive
  i enjoy winning but if things can be worked out so that everyone can win that for me is much better
hatred for society
no, i have a strong dislike for alot of the things happening in our society today,but i think that we will always have an opportunity to work to improve our society
it is scarey for me being this new and still awakening to these issues to realize these things, and as soon as i can i will be seeking the counseling that has been suggested to me,by the many friends on this sight
                                          stacey an