common characteristics

[beth_finallyme]

hello,


I am compiling a list of common characteristics that many unmitigated transsexuals share from my own experiences and thru research. I understand that everyone is/was different but i see many common threads.

I am interested in everyones opinion on what i have so far. I in no way mean to imply that all should have some or all of these traits. If i have left something out or included something you disagree with please let me know. Again these are traits shown before deciding/starting transition not after.


Severe clinical depression

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone

Shyness

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future

Inattention to appearance

Delayed or late onset puberty

Well above average intelligence

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.

Almost never criminals



Thank you     beth

[4years]

*smile* I was going to resurrect this topic the other day, but never decided on how to phrase and what to ask.

? -- Severe clinical depression
Never officially diagnosed.
Depressed almost entire life. Unsure if dysphora related or not.

./ -- Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts

./ -- Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone

./ -- Shyness

./ --Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Sound too, never have cared for what I sound like.

./ -- Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
Verge of starvation of many many years.
Interestingly not dangerous jobs or activities though. I don't even drive.

./ -- Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Almost a no; I can, I think, just there is very rarely someone I trust enough to consider such.

./ -- Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Doom and gloom.. seems so unfortunately, I do try to be optimistic though.

./ -- Inattention to appearance
Lost cause...

? --Delayed or late onset puberty
We don't recall. Probable though, but unsure.

? -- Well above average intelligence
I'd like to think so, but who wouldn't?

./ -- Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Video games in my case, lost in them for days...
Make them too (or at least try to rather) for that matter.

./ -- Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
I sometimes wonder though. I try very hard to be tolerant but humanity is so not my favorite species.



Pretty!

[beth_finallyme]

? -- Well above average intelligence
I'd like to think so, but who wouldn't?

i can vouch for that one 4years, you are very intelligent.

? --Delayed or late onset puberty
We don't recall. Probable though, but unsure

this is one that came up in a few places but is prolly the one i am least sure of (it prolly wont stay on the list)

./ -- Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
I sometimes wonder though. I try very hard to be tolerant but humanity is so not my favorite species.

as long as all humanity is treated equally bad or good you fit the discription 

thank you very much 4years!  can u think of any to add?

beth

[VeryGnawty]

I've noticed that a common trend among TG folk that I know is that they seem to be right-handed, but write like a left-handed person.

*ponders

[Susan]

I've noticed that a common trend among TG folk that I know is that they seem to be right-handed, but write like a left-handed person.

*ponders

Actually I am left handed and a lot of TS's are

[VeryGnawty]

So a lot of TS's are left-handed, and a lot of TS's who are right-handed write like lefty's.

*ponders

[Aurora]

Actually I am left handed and a lot of TS's are

Wow, I wish my grade teacher's would have known that. 

[kitten]

Severe clinical depression
--- on a pension for "acute depression"

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
--- never.

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
--- not Isolated, make friends easily, i like some time alone

Shyness
--- fairly shy, countered by having a big mouth

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
--- until i "came out", but now ok with this

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
--- never dangerous stuff, but the others until i "came out"

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
--- until recently of course, couldn't discuss with self either

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
--- innately cheerful, even when in despair.  my shrink is happy about this, but i can't say i understand it.

Inattention to appearance
--- until recently, now careful

Delayed or late onset puberty
--- 14.75 years old when voice broke

Well above average intelligence
--- "near genius", declined to join Mensa because they're too thick

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
--- yes, one of the 30% of TGs in the IT industry

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
--- raised racist, homophobic, it wore off.  not virtue, just got bored classifying people by characteristics that didn't matter to me.

Almost never criminals
--- well, they never caught me (looks around nervously)

[Dorian]

Severe clinical depression
Hmm cant say i do, but i was kinda down from time to time.

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
Yes, but mostly when i went out of denial.

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
A big YES and more YES

Shyness
Yes and no, kinda hard to explain. One of my biggest issues.

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes... but not anymore (well wait till I get more confident and into looking fem ^^)

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
Hmm not really, yes, nope.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Totally, but im a really good listener.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Im guilty of this.

Inattention to appearance
Yep, im ashamed of this and actually. Its a give away for me, the ppl that knows me has seen small changes but very notorious on this topic. And poof, they are over me now-_-.

Delayed or late onset puberty
Oh yes, my body didnt get normal muscle mass until now, you knwo the type of muscle a boy gets even if he doesnt want it.

Well above average intelligence
Well, hmm, you know.... yeah Im top of my generation in my state, but I flunked last year of high school, and my potential is untapped yet.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Im a strategist, I love RPG and such. Im pretty goo at them and my fav class was programming, I liked the challenge to made some programs. Even the teacher took some of my designs to reuse them in later class.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
Yes, but im a scout, so the 4 law is exactly that, tolerance ^_^

Almost never criminals
Yes, not even thougths.

I've noticed that a common trend among TG folk that I know is that they seem to be right-handed, but write like a left-handed person.

*ponders

Ok thats freaky, until now I havent seen someone talking about this, and hmm, that happens to me, ppl has asked me if im lefty even when they are seeing me writing with my rigth hand.... its kinda funny ^_^


I wanna add (related to me):

Overemotive...
Not very interested in sex...
Very imaginative...
Insecure (with a stoic mask)...

[beth]

hello Jaycie,


thank you so much for answering my post. most every negative characteristic on that list become better as we talk with ourselves, a therapist or others about our feelings. i know it is just about impossible to talk with a spouse, and it is sad that it is that way. some have told their spouse/partner and i envy their courage. i found that the internet gave me a chance to talk anonymously and that helped me  immensly. Now i discuss everything with my partner and am about to tell my children and ex. It is ironic that the secret that i thought was the worst thing possible for people to know,  ends up helping some of the depression and pain.

i hope you will stay and chat with us more   

love

beth

[Debtv]

For comparison..here is a cd's view of these:

Severe clinical depression
Yes big time....like most my life depressed. But not now that I'm open and free to cd.

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
Yes...I hated myself for most my life.

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
Not at all...in my 48 years I have only lived alone for 3 months and always have had alot of friends, but I do value my alone time too.

Shyness
Not at all...been in sales all my life and I'm rather bold.

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Not really. I have always had a big ego.

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
Big time true for me. I pushed it for many years...not careing a bit what happened to me.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Somewhat true. Well ok true, I have kept my feelings to myself untill I came out....now I do it very easly.

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
Very true.

Inattention to appearance
Yes, endrab I always felt I was wearing a costum and really did not care about it.

Delayed or late onset puberty
Yes

Well above average intelligence
I'd like to think so and I do feel alot of folks are simple.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
Big time gamer.

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
Very true.

Almost never criminals
Well, not a criminal, but an outlaw! LOL

How about these things?
More tender and nice than other men.
Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
Less competitive
Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society

Love
DebTV

[Anaya]

mmmh lets see...

Severe clinical depression
well i am very depressed... and have several problems

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
i thought, i tried, i chickened out. i just dont like the thought of the nothing compared to a possible good future (or bad... but a goood one is still possible)

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
i like to be alone... people just wont let me. im weird, im different, but im never kicked into the so called "losers" group (well i do go to them and have fun with them, without being kicked from the "cool" group... anyways, they are merging) somehow there doesnt seem to be anyone who hates me (i hate that... no alone time)

Shyness
veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery shy. Lately im getting more out and answring to everything

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
dont like it.. specially when parents get that crazy idea to get the old videofilms where im six (oh the shame)

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
almost... when pain comes into play... no more!

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
im a big mystery to everyone

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
sitting alone in the dark in front of the pc without having bathed for a week... i guess you could call that a future (a bad one, by the way)

Inattention to appearance
yup, thats me

Delayed or late onset puberty
every male in our family has that

Well above average intelligence
sure  at least im more mature than the others

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
why doesnt anyone in my school like myst... i feel so lonely

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
well yeah, except i can get pretty homophobic, like that one time when one tried to uhm... get *cough* "near" me

Almost never criminals
im too bad for that, ill stick with pirating (arrr)

More tender and nice than other men
thats what others say

Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
well.. I AM to weak for that

Less competitive
i dont really care if im better than another one

Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society
i hate society! down with society! get rid of it! ANARCHY! Actually i just dont like it

[Cassie]

Everyone seems to be forgetting "bored out of our everlovin mind" God life sucks then you die , oh well thats my 2 cents worth

[4years]

./ -- More tender and nice than other men.

http://www.transe-generation.com/archive.asp?pgid=comic&RefID=68
Eesh that took a while to find. ... It's what came to mind anyway...

./ -- Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
I was brought up with the thought of  "don't start it; finish it."

X -- Less competitive
I don't like to lose.

./ Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society
Disgust, remorse, revulsion.. yea, I think hate is in there somewhere too.

[beth]

Thanks for the additions Deb 



More tender and nice than other men.
yes, i was always thought of as the "nice guy" but they were so wrong cause i was never a guy

Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
i have never fought

Less competitive
i dont like to compete person to person, but i have been in a very competive business

Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society
society in general has never bothered me, but some groups in society do


beth

[VeryGnawty]

More tender and nice than other men.
Only if you don't piss me off.  However, I assure you that I can be a cruel bastard.

Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
True.

Less competitive
I almost always prefer a cooperative measure over a competitive one

Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society
Guilty as charged.  Although, technically, it's not society that bothers me.  It is civilization, and how it relates to the monkeysphere.

[VeryGnawty]

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/monkeysphere

[Terra]

Scary how much this echos my life...

Severe clinical depression
--- All my life been to one clinic or another

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
--- Very detailed, but never carried out plans.(no intention to ever again)

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
--- Still isolated, still few friends

Shyness
--- I was the ghost at high school

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
--- Never hated my appearance, still don't, but it feels wrong, and though never gung ho about pictures never minded them.

Self destructive behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
--- I just didn't care about life, now i just care more for other people's then my own.

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
--- It wasn't 'manly' to cry, talk, show pain, eat, sleep, have fun, smile, *rambbles down list*

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
--- The world is grey

Inattention to appearance
--- Could care less what others thought, now I just color code

Delayed or late onset puberty
--- Hmm, don't ever recall my voice breaking, just always being tall, and voice easing down.

Well above average intelligence
--- Always being told I grasp concepts easily when I should not.

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
--- Love mysteries, technical problems, and video games

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
--- To much effort to hate someone, would rather be friends

Almost never criminals
--- Unless you count accidently running a cop off the road, that was about it

[AllisonY2K]

here are the items that I have experienced prior to transition:

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
Shyness
Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
Inattention to appearance
Delayed or late onset puberty
Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration: video games
Possess a tolerance for others
Almost never criminals

I have above average intelligence (doesn't seem like it some days) but not well-above average intelligence.

[stephanie]

Severe clinical depression
check

Suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts
check

Isolation, few close friends, spends time alone
check

Shyness
(check)

Hatred of their appearance, avoiding mirrors, pictures, videos
CHECK

Self destructive  behavior, inattention to health issues, dangerous jobs or activities
semi-check (no dangerous jobs)

Inability to discuss deep feelings with others
check - but only because I can't find the right words when I get flustered

Feelings of doom and gloom, inability to envision future
(in best eeyore voice) check

Inattention to appearance
check

Delayed or late onset puberty
... can't remember, but it was a long time before I developed emotionally

Well above average intelligence
affirmative

Immerse themselves in activities or jobs that require intense concentration, complex puzzles, video games, highly technical vocations.
check

Possess a tolerance for others, very unlikely to be racist, homophobic etc.
check ... not that there's anything wrong with that...

Almost never criminals
check.  I hate breaking rules.

More tender and nice than other men.
check

Less likely to fight, unless pushed into it.
check

Less competitive
check

Hatred (at least uptight towards it) of society
people suck.  (check)

Overemotive
(sobbing) check

Not very interested in sex
the only one I disagree with, but usually disappointed with it.  Wouldn't you be too if you were given the wrong tools?

Very imaginative
(daydreaming) check

Insecure
two checks ... maybe just one, I don't know...


Wow.  Makes ya think.