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Has anyone had experiences coming out to a Jehovah's wittiness family members

Started by annajasmine, December 13, 2007, 09:31:07 PM

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Schala

Quote from: Sarah on January 03, 2008, 03:43:42 AM
As far as I know, they are a cult. At worst.
A very fundamentalist sect at best.

I don't think there's going to be any compromise with them.

I would prepare yourself for the worst possible reaction from them.
Whatever that may be and your response to that.

Now, if you get some amazingly rare breed of all-accepting JW's -then great.
But I wouldn't count on it.

For me, when I have to deal with family who are conservative christians, I basically pick my battles.
With my grandparrents, I have no intention of telling them.
They have (at least my Grandmother has) enough issues with my being Buddhist, I don't need to rock their world with the Trans announcement.
They are old, and I love them.

With aunts and uncles on that side of the family I probably will tell. I am planning to at some point, but my uncle is dying and I will wait.
Cousins, yes. Definitely.

But all these people I only talk to at most a couple of times a year. I never see them accept maybe once every seven years or so. My entire relationship I have ever had with my favorite cousin on that side of the family amounts to maybe two weeks of total time spent together in our lifetime.

So how much do they really mean to me? I love them, but if I tell them and they do not take it ok, it isn't going to rock my world that they have an issue with it.
I will be saddened, but I will understand that dealing with ignorance is a part of life.

I don't know if this helps, but this is how I deal with my family.

JW's from all impressions are far more fundie than my family is, so I really don't know. Trust your gut.


I think it really depends on who.

I played over 100 chess games, while debating everything from my transitioning to theology with a JW, and it was enlightening and fun (to debate). He said that, while it was not a path he would take (to transition, in the hypothetic case he would have been trans), that he couldn't hold it against me for doing so. That everyone owns their own decision and its consequences.

Of course I doubt all JW are like that, but I also know most Christians aren't like Falwells and Phelps.

and for the record, I won 98-99% of those games, lost once, tied once :P but we went easy on each other and let us take back bad moves (the obvious ones).
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annajasmine

Quote from: Schala on January 21, 2008, 01:59:08 AM
and for the record, I won 98-99% of those games, lost once, tied once :P but we went easy on each other and let us take back bad moves (the obvious ones).

Sound like you where playing my cousin Ben. All I can do is hope for some to be ok with it. It is kind of sad that a lot of my relationships will be lost. My cousin Dave he is a homophobe but if it was not for him probaly I wouldn't made it through school he showed how to do guy stuff. He was like brother to me. It should be while before I come out like 6 months maybe but I'm a bit unpredictable on things I do things on emotion that I often regret at times.

Could you ask your friend if he had a family member that was raised a JW  and decide to go through transition what he would do? This is important they have different standards for unbaptised and baptised. I'm unbaptised. That is if you still play chess with him.

Thanks,
Anna


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Schala

QuoteCould you ask your friend if he had a family member that was raised a JW  and decide to go through transition what he would do? This is important they have different standards for unbaptised and baptised. I'm unbaptised. That is if you still play chess with him.

I haven't played chess against him in a while, and he's actually pretty good for a casual player. I'm just above the level of casual players, more like intermediate. I could probably win 70% of my games playing against people of all levels...but playing against only casual, I win over 98% of them. Playing against pros (people who play tournaments often or have the level to) I win less than 50%.

I haven't seen him in a while. I'm baptised catholic (not JW). I think he would still have his live-and-let-live attitude if I was a JW (he wouldn't be able to change my mind or even shame me, even if he tried), he's defended me before. He said "I might not agree with what you're doing, but I won't let anyone give you >-bleeped-< about it."
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Cindi Jones

Annajasmine,

I faced similar problems when I made the decision to disclose with my family.  We were not JW but LDS (Mormon).  I can assure you that the Mormon's position are not any less stringent than those of the JW faith.  It was a pretty miserable time for all of us.

I maintained contact with them as much as I could though.  I've never "written them off" as many of them have done to me.  It's been a couple decades since my transition and for the most part, we have a good relationship.  I love my parents and they have come round to some degree.  I am always welcome in their home and they love to come visit.  My siblings are totally cool.  My daughter wrote me off last year.  My son maintains some contact but I'm sure that his wife would just as soon I didn't come around.

So, it's a mixed bag.  But not a lost cause.  Please make sure to remember the source of your faith.... love... when you come out.  That's what is important.  All you need is love.

Cindi
Author of Squirrel Cage
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Kimberly Kilpatrick

Quote from: annajasmine on December 13, 2007, 09:31:07 PM
Has anyone had experiences coming out to a Jehovah's wittiness family members (the most important ones are my mom and older sister)? The reason I ask this about half my family are Jehovah's Wittinesses and they usually shun people they have there own terms. Right now I live with mom it is embarrassing for someone who is 33 years old still be living at home(eight partially wasted years but I did took care of older family members, got some college). I told her I was moving with in the year and she totally flip out for a while. She ask me why I said I need to live my own and do my own things that make me happy. I love her but felt that she was trying guilt trip me staying because she started having issues a few days later and I told her she needs tell her neurologist because her depression medications has those side affect. The neurologist wouldn't not let her leave until she a had an appointment with a therapist which she cancel Monday. I'm afraid how my mom and family might react I when come out tell them I want live the rest of my life as a women. My family possible reaction has bothering to the point sometime it depresses me to be around my family.
Most of my family is Baptists and Pentecostals. I really feel for you I will lose almost all my family :( . But if they love me they would love Kimberly because that is who I am. I don't live my life for them and if they chose not to love they never did.
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