Yeah, hate is a good word for what I feel towards those parts. The development of the chest frightened me and I do remember thinking when I was 9-ish that "it's gonna cost me some serious money to fix that someday" (I knew about breast reduction, but not male chest reconstruction, which is even more ideal). I denied that I even had the internals and remained convinced that I would develop 'normally' (aka, like a teenage boy) until proof of said organ's existence happened. From there on out (age 11 and up), I became more detached from 'my' body and began seriously thinking about removing a few parts myself. I began experimenting with cauterization and stitching to take care of the bleeding from the incisions, but never managed to find a good way to deal with the inevitable infection.
I still do feel like 'taking care of it myself' even now (it's one of the biggest things that frustrates me: I can fix most things of mine that break--electronics, minor carpentry, etc--but I can't fix myself), but I've seen the photos of what a professional can do. Logic wins out on this one, 'cuz I'd rather not have a bunch of scar tissue for the surgeon to have to deal with.
*Shrug* as for the external bits of my lower body... it creeps me out to no end that there is literally a hole connecting the external to the insides of this body. I think it's more a paranoia of what could happen, though--aka, the scene from "Boys Don't Cry" when those guys found out about Brandon. I'll be glad when that's sealed off forever.
