What are the effects of GRS to relationships?

[Butterfly]

The time has come to schedule my GRS.  I'm contemplating a month in 2009.  I'd like to ask a question:  What are the effects of GRS to relationships? like say ... you have a significant other, will a LTR survive GRS?  How many people on here have had GRS and are still with the same partner?

[Natasha]

by mutual agreement, my ex and i went our separate ways after we had grs.  it was for the better.  now she has somebody else in her life and so do i

[rava]

I'm still with the same person. We are very close but not really sexual. I want to stay together. I think we can maintain our close loving relationship and still fulfill our individual needs. We don't hide anything from each other. Openess and honesty make it much easier. Plus...it takes a special person and I believe I've found one.

[tinkerbell]

Prior to having SRS, the relationship with my ex-boyfriend was already deteriorated to the point that we were just roommates, nothing more.  This had been going on for many years, especially after I started changing physically due to HRT.  He's gay and he wasn't attracted to women at all, but we stayed together mainly because we were used to each other.

When I had SRS, he decided to leave.  It was the culmination of so many years of companionship and wonderful memories.  I suppose that my SRS was a form of saying "you see?  I'm serious, do you believe me now?"   We couldn't stop seeing each other in bad terms though; there are just too many wonderful memories that we can't simply forget, and although now we have both found a different person in our lives, we are still very good friends.

In my limited experience and according to what I have seen and heard with friends and people I know, not too many relationships can handle the dimension of SRS and what this means to the other partner.

tink

[Sheila]

I'm still with my wife. We have been married for 38 years. We are older and sex is really not an important  aspect of our life. I would like to have a little more intimacy but I do love her and she loves me so all the rest is good. We do talk a lot more and we shop till we drop. We really have a fun time. So, I wouldn't say things haven't changed but we are still together and very happy with each other.
Sheila
PS Oh, I forgot, it will be 4 years this May since my surgery. No complaints and very happy I had it done.

[Hypatia]

My darling spouse has told me she doesn't want to lose me--but if I get the surgery, it will mean divorce.

So basically it comes down to a choice between my *meow* or hers. And that is, as they say, a no-brainer. So bye-bye, honey...

Like Leslie, I'm looking at sometime in 2009 (assuming I get my finances in good enough shape first). I was going to do it this year, but lost my job because of discrimination, which put my SRS plans on hold, and thereby prolonged our marriage.

[Butterfly]

Thank you all very kindly for your replies.

[Steph]

Like so many others, my 34 year marriage didn't survive GRS.  We spoke often of the consequences and both of us mutually agreed that there was a strong possibility that we would divorce once surgery was completed.  Gill said she would stay by my side and see me through recovery, and that she would always support me in my decision, which she did.  Consequently we divorced.  Fortunately it was amicable, but traumatic none-the-less and I do still love her very much, for who could not, after all she sacrificed so much of her life to support me.

Hopefully your marriage will survive Leslie, but if it doesn't let me reassure you that there is life after marriage.

Steph

[Lisbeth]

Statistically, where a transition includes GRS, the divorce rate is 99.5%.

In my case, I told Deb that I intended to have surgery, and she said, "Ok, then it's over."

[kirakero]

I am to inexperienced to have gone through such situations.  Additionally, I make it a policy to make sure that all relationship 'possibles' know that I'm transgender before they even meet me on the phone or in person.

It just so happens that I met someone amazing (though may not be able to have).  We are both highly interested in each other, however she lives an ocean away, and she is still contemplating her decision to start a life with me.  She is 100% lesbian.  She did however shock me by telling me that she wants to see me before SRS, to be intimate with me before SRS, so she can genuinely prove to me, and have my trust, that my body is not and never will be an issue with her.  I thought it very sweet, and even though we have not met or anything, I trust and love her with all my heart.

It has provided me with an interesting perspective of people: There are those that tolerate someone before surgery.  There are those that tolerate someone after surgery.  There are those that don't tolerate before, or instead after...  And then there are those people that love, and hold steadfast, no matter what.  And anyone that has a person like that is very fortunate.  If however someone cannot deal with the surgery...  It is a sign to move on.  I am glad that all you ladies have found the ability to do so.

[Joyce]

Statistically, where a transition includes GRS, the divorce rate is 99.5%.

In my case, I told Deb that I intended to have surgery, and she said, "Ok, then it's over."

Now Lisbeth, are you speaking statistically based on real surveys, facts, and observable metrics or are you just speaking statistically?   

I would think the percentage is high, sure, so I'm not disagreeing on anything other than your faux-certainty.

[Lisbeth]

Statistically, where a transition includes GRS, the divorce rate is 99.5%.

In my case, I told Deb that I intended to have surgery, and she said, "Ok, then it's over."

Now Lisbeth, are you speaking statistically based on real surveys, facts, and observable metrics or are you just speaking statistically?   

I would think the percentage is high, sure, so I'm not disagreeing on anything other than your faux-certainty.

This is a number that's been around for several years.  I don't remember who collected the data.