Questioning began when...?

[Nikki_W]

I answered 0-7 but not really sure unless I can tie a memory to a grade in school I don't know when childhood memories occurred I just know I've felt this way as far back as I can remember.

[ChefAnnagirl]

Somewhere between ages 3 and 5 for me -

By Halloween at age 5, i was literally consumed by an all-encompassing need to present myself to the world as a girl, and wanted nothing other than my beautiful pink chiffon Princess dress with a tiara, hair done, makeup, and pretty shoes - i knew in extreme detail what i needed and wanted more than anything else in the world, and had no way to get it.

This was the last time i ever spoke a word of it (i made some cryptic mention of it to my mom when she asked me what i wanted to be for halloween, which she didnt know how to respond to at that time) to another human being for almost 30 years thereafter.

My heart was literally breaking in a million pieces from the strength of that desire, even at that age - it was so all-consuming that i will never forget the feelings, even from that age. Even as far out as age 14-15, i was still hoping that somehow the proper changes would come, that my breasts would start growing, and that my genitalia would somehow become something else, other than what it was... 


Sincerely,


ChefAnnagirl

[kiddancer]

8 to 14

[Natkat]

I got scold in school for being a "naughty child" who refused to say I where a girl in english class LOL,
also I picked a male name and wanted to go by that.

I guess those must had ment something so I put my vote on 0-7 years however I first found out I where transgender when I where 12 and there I where for sure that was it.

[poptart]

My earliest memory is of experiencing gender dysphoria when I was 3. I'm sure that I had it before then, but who can remember that far back?

I guess I'll get into detail because this memory is pretty vivid. I was sitting on the floor beside my younger brother who had just got a haircut. I was jealous of his clothes and short hairstyle, and sad that I would never get to look like that (was under the impression that girls have to dress feminine). I was thinking about how lucky he was and how I hoped he didn't take it for granted. This made me pretty enraged and frustrated so I banged my head on the floor a few times during this series of thoughts.

This is just one of countless examples. Thoughts like this have pervaded my mind from the beginning and never stopped.

[Xhianil]

I wore female clothes at the age of around 7, no one knew, not even me, that it was who i was, it wasn't me on the outside, it was some male who needs to not exist anymore, to just go away forever.

[SandraB]

Kind of sad, but back when I was six or seven. And I've never really shared this with anyone, this part. I'd be bathing, and would have pushed everything up inside of me wanting it to stay like that. Then I'd let the water run over me hoping that it'd make everything go away. Sometimes I'd stop soon enough, but sometimes the tub would overflow, and my father would start beating on the door, then ultimately me. I kept on doing this for a while, but had to stop because it just didn't make anything go away, I'd always be disappointed. Never did connect the dots. Not till much later. Much later.

[Yukari-sensei]

Kind of sad, but back when I was six or seven. And I've never really shared this with anyone, this part. I'd be bathing, and would have pushed everything up inside of me wanting it to stay like that. Then I'd let the water run over me hoping that it'd make everything go away. Sometimes I'd stop soon enough, but sometimes the tub would overflow, and my father would start beating on the door, then ultimately me. I kept on doing this for a while, but had to stop because it just didn't make anything go away, I'd always be disappointed. Never did connect the dots. Not till much later. Much later.

I forgot doing things like that when I was younger, but fortunately in my family the domestic violence didn't start till later...

I really don't remember a solid grasp on the gender binary until I entered school and had to interact with my peers in a social environment and that's when I realized I stuck out like a sore thumb. It was a this point when we were separated that I felt "hey, I don't belong here, I'm supposed to be with the rest of the girls!" I remember throwing change into every wishing well in the mall (and the bathroom sink drain as a substitute) and wishing that God would make me a girl. Unfortunately for me, God doesn't work that way anymore and I changed my prayers at 7 to, "God, please make me normal. Please make these feelings go away". I would lock the doors to take my bath and put on whatever female clothes were available in the hamper and dream of the day I could be a mommy too. I would love my wife and she would love me and our baby too.... Imagine my surprise to find out that mommies couldn't marry,  couldn't make a baby without a daddy, and God doesn't like it when mommies don't marry daddies... The seeds of denial and compensation found very fertile soil and it's only now I've begun to clear it.

Better late than never?

[janetcgtv]

when i was little i preferred to play girls games,never having seen a doll house i wanted one, also the local museum had a display but it was darkened and therefore i was totally disappointed.
in 5th grade a boy asked me if i was a girl or boy. because i was wearing pants i said i was a boy. then i got into the boy thing but i always headed home in put on my aunts girdles and long line bras. by best friend who is a woman (even when I am in boy mode) tells that i'm more feminine than she is.

my favorite quote comes from Mae West. "Ït may be a man's world, just as long as I can be a woman in it".

[SeptagonScars]

My gender-questioning began at around age 10-12 (cause puberty), but I didn't start identifyig as the opposite sex until I was 15, and I didn't come out as ftm until I was 19. But I voted "8-14 years old" cause that's when I started questioning.

I was wrong though, about being ftm, cause then almost 10 years later I came out detransitioning. I think I'll always be gender-questioning, some way or another, but like that's okay. I don't need to be super sure about how I think/feel about my gender.

I portray myself as a woman and am afab. I like being feminine in my style but also embrace a lot of my male body traits that I got from taking testosterone. I don't seem to care about pronouns. Quite many refer to me as she/her and even more refer to me as he/him but most dodge pronouns altogether, and neither of which causes me dysphoria or euphoria, or any particular feeling the more confident I become.

But because I'm fine with being a bio female, present female, chose a clearly feminine name for myself, etc; I think it's the most accurate to call myself an unconventional/gnc cis woman, cause also that gives me a lot of leeway, cause unconventional/gnc can cover pretty much anything.

[anzu2snow]

I've always felt 'different' gender-wise. I think the earliest I can remember was when I was roughly 3 or 4 in daycare, and adults were splitting us up into certain categories. Encouraging certain behaviors and placing certain roles on us. Also, with all the gendered toys they pushed at us. I was confused by this, and internally asked why. Why couldn't we be friends with everyone? Why do we have to go in separate bathrooms? Why can't I play with any of the toys, not just one 'type'? (My parents were great, and let me have any type of toy I wanted, it's just other places like daycare didn't.) Why did we have to be separated at all? I just pretended the best I could most of my life. I knew something wasn't right, though. I didn't feel like 'the opposite sex', as it's referred to in the poll. So, I just thought I was a weird 'lazy' woman. I didn't even see the word for my gender, agender (aka genderless) until a couple of years ago. I went into a very deep questioning phase about a year and a half ago, and realized a few months into it that that was my gender.