Discomfort, timidity around birth sex peers?

[tinkerbell]

[rant] Boys and I never got along during my chidhood years.  They used to hate me and in a way I did too.  As I grew older, my situation became worse.  Geez, here I was sexually attracted to them, and they still hated me.  What a joke, huh? [/rant]

Anyway, the only time when I had problems was when I was beginning to transition.  My appearance had become quite androgynous during the first months on HRT, and men didn't know if they were dealing with a woman or a guy.  As a result, they were very rude and called me names.

Nowadays it is quite different.  I get along pretty well with the guys. They find me attractive !  LOL it is amazing how life works sometimes.  These could have been the same men that at one point were making fun of me/my appearance and now here they are "drooling" so to speak.  I guess you could say that I had the last laugh... 

tink

[ambientdischord]

Memory:  In elementary school I was always on the girls team in "boys chase girls"  (That was the name of the game). 

I didn't feel like I was part of the boys team, but I knew I didn't "belong" on the girls, so I was their "defender".  Ha!  Now I'd love to have a knight in shining armor.

[Alison]

I'm actually more timid and uncomfortable around men (more as a gender, rather then sex though, but I admit the timidness is pretty much concentrated to cisgenered [or at least I assume cisgendered] men.)

I'm not sure why

[Constance]

Nero had asked, "I was wondering if anyone else has the same issues concerning birth sex peers."

I'd always found bio females easier to relate to than bio males. To this day, I'm wary of other males. Perhaps it's my imagination, but there frequently seems to be some kind of dominance games in play. I try to be mindful of my posture. I don't want to stand too tall, too proud as I don't want to seem like I'm issuing a challenge. This might be based on how my father taught me to shake hands. He explained that shaking hands with a man was a challenge, and that the firmer the grip meant I'd be taken more seriously.

Tink had said, "Geez, here I was sexually attracted to them, and they still hated me.  What a joke, huh?"

I'd encountered the same response from some of the girls to whom I'd been sexually attracted.

[Sarah]

Yeah, me too.
A little nervous.
But only around guys I don't know.
I get over it quick.
But some guys..

Sara

[Autumn]

He explained that shaking hands with a man was a challenge, and that the firmer the grip meant I'd be taken more seriously.

Hey, this saves me from making a thread.

I, too, had the importance of the handshake instilled in me by my mother. I'm in the south, and a bone-crushing handshake is all you get from a proper older man. I always try to give the firmest handshake I can, but I'm a) left handed b) weak, so it doesn't work so well. Never let on that they're mangling you, of course.

Lately, though, customers and people I've met socially have been giving me girls' handshakes. Some of the time it's because they think I'm a girl, a lot of the other times I assume there's some sort of insult in there. It's just happening enough for me to notice.


Until I was 19 or so I was incredibly uncomfortable being around men. Being alone in a hallway with one while waiting for class at 18? Really scary. I'm still quite a bit leery around tough looking or low class men though. I blame that mostly on how much fearmongering my mother gave me about men, though. Even as a child I got endless lectures on how basically all every man wants to do is rape everything smaller than him, me included.

I think it wasn't until around my last birthday (22) that I stopped consciously thinking that when I was the 'guy' in the 'two people passing in a hall/street/whatever' scenario, that the woman didn't think I was a crazy rapist about to attack her.

thanks mom :V

[Rachael]

i dunno, i love being around boys... i mean, eye candy! please!
Im a heterosexual girl, i like boys, and tbh i have no discomfort from the fact that i used to look like one...
If anything, i like hanging around boys more, possibly because im a raging tomboy, and its nice scenery ^_^
i do still have my loyalties Ladys before louts ^_^
R >

[Christo]

Never had a problem w/the dudes.  I'm one of them & they know that.  I like girls to   but some didnt like me when they found out I was trans.  Thats cool though.  for every person that dont like me, there are 100 that do

These could have been the same men that at one point were making fun of me/my appearance and now here they are "drooling" so to speak.  I guess you could say that I had the last laugh... 

tink

a dude gotta be out of his mind not to dool when he see u

[soldierjane]

These could have been the same men that at one point were making fun of me/my appearance and now here they are "drooling" so to speak.  I guess you could say that I had the last laugh... 

tink

I had exactly that happen when I was in early transition. There were these guys that lived across the street who went from sneering/name calling, to impressed silence, to them and their friends whistling approvingly when I went by. Sometimes revenge is sweet 

[lady amarant]

These could have been the same men that at one point were making fun of me/my appearance and now here they are "drooling" so to speak.  I guess you could say that I had the last laugh... 

tink

I had exactly that happen when I was in early transition. There were these guys that lived across the street who went from sneering/name calling, to impressed silence, to them and their friends whistling approvingly when I went by. Sometimes revenge is sweet 

Petty, but oh so plesaing.

I would love to run into some of the idiots I went to school with ... a year from now, when I'm a bit prettier. Mind you, abouth 75% of my senior year turned out to be gay, and probably with one or two other trans people in there too. (Hell if I know - something in the water maybe?) So I suppose it wouldn't be all that much of a victory.

[Rachael]

These could have been the same men that at one point were making fun of me/my appearance and now here they are "drooling" so to speak.  I guess you could say that I had the last laugh... 

tink

Welcome to my plans for my highschool reunion in 6 years.....
Those b***ards made my life hell.... now ill make thier spouses hate them, and them dool... THEN tell them, with a certain middle finger held high....

R >

[lady amarant]

Welcome to my plans for my highschool reunion in 6 years.....
Those b***ards made my life hell.... now ill make thier spouses hate them, and them dool... THEN tell them, with a certain middle finger held high....

R >

Funny, I have that exact same dream, though I doubt that anybody from my "couldn't care less" year will bother organising one ... Petty, but oh so very pleasing. 

[Rachael]

thats the thing... they will care.... i was thier fav punchbag.  although ill need to get a guy to go with to pretend to be me... i doubt a girl at a boys school reunion will go down too well
R >

[lady amarant]

thats the thing... they will care.... i was thier fav punchbag.  although ill need to get a guy to go with to pretend to be me... i doubt a girl at a boys school reunion will go down too well
R >

Misunderstanding - they cared very much about bullying me and the other unfortunates who didn't fit in, but I mean as in, too un-"bovvered" to go to the trouble of actually organising a reunion. (Catherine Tate took lessons from my generation) Maybe I should step in and show some school spirit! 

[tekla]

I hope and I wish for you that in six years you will no longer care.  Going back and trying to make people regret what they did in the past tends not to work out as well in reality as it does in dreamland.  In order for that to work they must have used that time to become more enlightened - which is doubtful.  People tend not to change as much as they just become 'more so.'  The cool people in HS are still cool, the jerks are still jerks, the smart ones stayed smart and the idiots are still pretty dumb.  At least that tends to be true for my highschool and others I've observed.

The best course is to, as they say in New York - FUGETABOUTIT.

Besides, I found reunions to be about the most boring thing I've ever done.  Thank god they had a bar.

[Rachael]

The only reason im doing it is to get some lols out of transition.... for me, not them, i want amusement and atleast one 'har most changed award am go to meeeeee'
R >

[lady amarant]

Sadly I have no higher noble purpose for wanting to attend ... I'm just petty and immature. Which is as it should be, I think. I was always the serious, sad, angsty one at school who listened to way too much Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Live. I'm making up for lost time now! 

We Love you Kurt!

[Rachael]

for all the crap ive experienced, and all the cliche trans fiction esque moments ive experienced, i want this one so badly just for the lols and possible story material
Its just one of those things... i vanished from even the few friends i had in school, and i want them to meet the person they were actually friends with, and prove to the bullys that im not the looser freak they picked on daily.... Rachael doesnt back down to bullys, when i playacted a guy, i had no confidence, and they won, its time to prove that im not weak.
and have a huge laugh and an ugly betty moment

R >

[Veetje]

Meh, I cant really get along with boys/men.....when I was younger I had a few male friends, just a few, but they were a little nerdy like I was...but things evolved for me and my theatrical/drama side took over
I saw the boys I was friends with less and less by the year

It changed gradually I think

[lady amarant]

My entire circle of male friends at school all turned out to be gay (And I suspect one other trans-person, though I haven't had contact with Gavin in years) Additionally, I had two almost-friend straight friends: The one became a Buddhist monk, and the other one took vows as a Hare Krishna right out of highschool, and recently began an intentional community up in the mountains of Kwazulu Natal. Go figure!