Curious about the bra...and male mode

[madison]

Recently Melissa posted the following statement I have excerpted from another post. I didn't want to skew too far off-topic so I thought I would just repost this here.

Melissa said:

"...for the future, although I did have longer hair and wore a bra to the interview.  I have a feeling..."

And this is not the first time I have heard people mentioning strapped undergarments in what I presume was male presentation.

My question is thus, have you worn a bra, or other strapped undergarment such as a camisole, under a male shirt? And if so, how do people not notice? Or do you just not care?

Maybe a strange question, but I've often wondered this. I'll often wear a camisole under sweaters or other long sleeved garments when it is chilly out. Note that a silky camisole under a baggy sweater is so comfy. But I've often wondered about what people must think about the visible strap lines that must be obvious sometimes, or even more so if I hug someone. This of course only being a concern if I'm out and about in a place or mode where I would rather not be "discovered."

Just curious. I suppose I am also curious about other undergarments worn with male clothes or even if you mix some female outerwear that is sort of passable as male attire and if you wonder if anybody knows that shirt or those jeans or those shoes aren't really for men?

Sorry this is such a broad topic and a little discombobulated, but the more I think about it the more curious I am.

[Annie Social]

As I've mentioned elsewhere, I currently work in male mode. I began HRT a little over 4 months ago, and I have gotten to the point where a bra is necessary with some clothing to hide my development. I generally wear a bulky loose-fitting shirt with a spandex tee underneath, but as the weather here is starting to get downright hot, that's not really practical all the time. A bra at least keeps the nipples from being quite so obvious when wearing a lighter-weight top. I don't think the straps have been noticed yet; at least, no one has said anything.

I lost over 40 pounds at the beginning of last summer, and I simply could not bring myself to spend money on new mens' clothing. My compromise has been to purchase womens' jeans, slacks, tops and shoes that I feel I can get away with at work. With the exception of two shirts that are sufficiently bulky (see above!), I don't think I've worn anything made for men in six months.

I have to admit that it's not entirely due to not wanting to spend money on mens' things; it is a depressing thing to have to get into male drag every weekday morning, and the fact that everything I'm wearing was made for women (despite appearances) makes it a bit easier to deal with. I wrote about this a little in my blog 2 weeks ago; pushing the limits with long nails, pierced ears, long hair and so on helps me to feel that I'm making progress. I don't know, maybe part of me wants to be 'caught' so that I will be forced to come out.

I've even joked with some friends that if I transition at work slowly enough, maybe no one will notice!

Annie

[Melissa]

Bras don't tend to show through most men's polo shirts.  If you're not sure, try it on and look in the mirror or have someone else examine you that you trust.  So far nobody's said anything.  I figure if they're going to find out eventually, it's not a big deal if one or 2 people figure it out as long as they can't do anything bad to you. 

Another option is the wear a bra with wide straps at the top and it will look like a tanktop.  I don't do this personally, but it might be a good option for somebody.  Also, make sure the cup is pretty smooth or it will show through the front.  Other than my chest sticking out a little further than the typical male, it looks pretty good.  Worst case, they notice the breasts, you can tell them you have gynecomastia.

The thing is, even if people notice, most have enough tact or are unsure enough not to say anything.

Melissa

[madison]

Thank you for responding Melissa as you were the person I most had in mind when I first made the post.

In the previous post in question someone asked if you had told them about being transexual and you said, no, that would be something for later. But in my mind, wearing a bra to an interview is tantamount to telling them that you are transgendered, or a crossdresser or something. In my experience, just looking around, you can see a woman's bra under all but the baggiest and thickest of clothes. And in my personal experience, having looked in the mirror while wearing a particular camisole that has more bra type straps than spaghetti type, I could even see traces of the straps through a sweater if it is pulled even remotely tight.

So that really was the motivation behind the question. Maybe it is because I am more keen to these types of things that I would notice the fact that some guy applying for a job where I worked was wearing a bra. Or that I notice such things at all. You may be right that most people wouldn't even notice, but it at least seems like women would notice.

Anyhow, thanks again for posting. It was so hard when I started the thread, because I just wanted to ask you a simple question, but then my mind started wandering thinking about what you other girls wear. Sometimes it is frustrating to not be able to just meet you all for coffee and chit chat over some espresso or tea.

[Kimberly]

^*wink* You would find me exceedingly boring in that context as I rarely speak unless spoken to.

Anyway regarding straps and things...

Something to keep in mind regarding the "is what I am wearing apparent" thought is that something like a bra or other tight fitting garment will distort the shape of the body, which is in itself a noticeable tail-tail sign, at least I think so anyway.

[stephanie_craxford]

I found myself in a similar situation two years ago before I started transition.  I took the precautions mentioned previously, but as Kimberly has pointed out, nothing is for certain when it comes to hiding things.  I thought I was doing reasonably well at work as I didn't get any form of feed back that the other employees had noticed anything.  But you know what, they did.  When I came out at work many came forward to congratulate and other their support and at the same time some commented that they were wondering why I wore bras.  So despite my attempts, well, just be careful.

Steph

[Melissa]

I found myself in a similar situation two years ago before I started transition.  I took the precautions mentioned previously, but as Kimberly has pointed out, nothing is for certain when it comes to hiding things.  I thought I was doing reasonably well at work as I didn't get any form of feed back that the other employees had noticed anything.  But you know what, they did.  When I came out at work many came forward to congratulate and other their support and at the same time some commented that they were wondering why I wore bras.  So despite my attempts, well, just be careful.

Steph

That's exactly the point.  If you can get away with being only sort of careful, then coming out tends to be more successful.  I think the better you hide your femaleness, the harder it will be to come out.  If I get hired for my job that I interviewed while wearing a bra (and maybe they even noticed) and I wear bras everyday and nobody says anything, what does that tell you about how people in the company will probably react when I really do come out to them.  Probably not much surprise as in your case Stephanie.

However, if you do not want anybody to notice and you never plan on coming out at work, then don't wear them there.

Melissa

[michelle]

I think that wearing bra under shirts and displaying other signs of femininity indicates how comfortable one is becoming with their feminine identity.  When I am not going to work I wear a bra all of the time.   I may not seem shy but I really am.   I have taken a lot of emotional crap all of my life both on the job and from my birth family.   I tend to dress to avoid taking more crap.   That what makes it hard to wear skirts outside of my home.  Mostly the only exclusively make clothes I own are my work uniform.   Mens short sleeve shirts, ties and dress jeans.   Not anything that a butch female might not wear.   Plain blues and greens and browns in colors.   Over time I have come to care less if something effinimine shows as long as it does not draw lots of negative attension.   Most of the time I am content to live as the Men and Women in Black unnoticed.   This is a large part of the problem I have being a flashier female.

[stephb]

Although I am not in the process of actively transitioning, I am not on HRT, and I have little to fill it, I have worn a bra under my male attire on many occasions, even to work. I generally wear it under a loose fitting shirt that is very dark or opaque. To my knowledge, no one has ever detected it.

I do it mostly for an emotionally lift when it gets harder for me to cope with my TS needs. It's kind of like keeping my legs shaved and my toenails polished. No one else knows, but I feel like I am expressing a little of my feminine side, even if hidden to others. When I think about it, I know it's kind of silly and I feel foolish about it, but it does make me feel better about myself, so I do it. It helps me get through another day.

Steph

[Melissa]

If you are already used to wearing a bra and then decide to transition, then more power to you.  It will probably be less uncomfortable for you as it is for me.  For me, wearing a bra takes some getting used to, but it is a necessary evil for women.  It comes with the breasts.  At this point, it not only hides the nipples, but now offers a little support for the breasts.

Melissa

[michelle]

Other than to work where there's always somebody who cares about something,  Complains to the supervisor about it and sends a note to my boss saying for me not to come back.  I work for a temp agency.   If I get too  many places saying they don't want me, then the temp agency doesn't want me.  I wear a bra and what ever underneath a tee shirt which either males or females may wear.  I admit I am more than a thousand miles from where I grew up and have no ties to community or culture I live in.   It is a big city where small things like the appearance of something which may or not be a bra strap is not mentioned to someone who is a stranger or just a casual acquaintance.   Most people have some quark that they hope others will ignore and not bring up.   There seems to be some problem with the usage of sir and mam because I have been called sir or mam by the same person within five minutes.

The question is where do you live?  How many relatives live in your area?  How well are you known?  And does any one really care rather you wear a bra or not?

[LostInTime]

Once the breasts got to a certain point a sports bra was worn to keep them pressed flat (well, flatter anyway) and then once they were a bit bigger I had to wear something for support or be sore.  So yes, I have worn a bra while in boy mode.

[Dersi]

I started to wear a cami uner my baggy ultra male shirt (to my big shame) and at first I was concerned about the straps showing up. But, I needed the support since my breast and nipples were really sensitive and sore at that time.

With time I wanted to try a bra and I found out I really needed one and it was a great thing to have. Now I could protect my boobs and byebye sore nipples.
And during that time I started to wear the bra under my normal clothes and I ont know if the noticed it or not.

I didnt care at all, for me was like a small step in my transition and going back is a big no-no.

So, I had to wear them cuz I needed them.

[Rosie]

Hi
You Could almost call this thread to wear or not to wear bra. l agree 100 % with Dersi

.....With time I wanted to try a bra and I found out I really needed one and it was a great thing to have. Now I could protect my boobs and byebye sore nipples.
And during that time I started to wear the bra under my normal clothes and I ont know if the noticed it or not.
I didnt care at all, for me was like a small step in my transition and going back is a big no-no.
So, I had to wear them cuz I needed them.

My experience mirors hers ...you wear what you need to wear when you need wearing it. Inner heart leads natural women...follow your heart then you are never wrong.Wear what you need because it is you ...To thy self be ture...

[carol_w]

Outside of work, a bra is an absolute must in "girl mode" (even though I have to wear forms 'cause I don't have enough breasts to fill one yet).  Too, I guess that I'm wishing for breasts, even though with the low dose of HRT that I'm on now, they will be a long time coming. 

In guy mode though, particularly at work, I'd be absolutely scared to death to wear one.  It's not like I haven't worn feminine things before - I spent a lot of days last winter wearing some androgynous looking knee-high boots with a low heel and no one really gave me a second look.  But somehow, the bra (if it were noticed) would elicit some kind of unfavorable comment.  And if I hadn't discussed transition with everyone, that could be "bad news".

Carol

[Melissa]

For me, I wear a bra at work.  The straps are not the thing to worry about, although I am careful about bending forward and stretching my shirt against my back.  The 2 lumps that protrude from my chest seem to draw more attention, but I have this whether or not I wear a bra.  So, as I said before, the bra is there to protect my nipples as well as provide some life.

Melissa

[AnneK]

My question is thus, have you worn a bra, or other strapped undergarment such as a camisole, under a male shirt? And if so, how do people not notice? Or do you just not care?

I have worn a bra under my shirt every day for about 1.5 years.  As far as I can tell, no one has noticed.  At least they haven't said anything.

[davina61]

I have worn a bra of some sort 24/7 since Jan . My work clothes are (its cold at the moment) 2 T shirts, polo with company logo, sweatshirt with company logo and jacket, all in black, we have a female member of staff ( car workshop) and she wears same uniform anyway back to the plot . Having man boobs any way with a under T bra (no wire) its not noticeable but not sure what to do come summer and only polo shirt time. p s  baggy black trouser s so they cant see my nickers

[kaitylynn]

I wear a bra under my uniform shirt almost everyday.  I think I actually draw more attention to myself when I go without one as my nipples are larger and really show through.  The bra diminishes that and in the end it does not seem that anyone really notices.  If someone has noticed, no one has ever said anything.  Most people are absorbed in their own worlds 99% of the time.  Outside of a snap judgement on who they feel is standing in front of them, they are not generally digging any deeper in their interactions.

[Deborah]

I don't wear one at work and rarely any other time either. 


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote