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Things I'm gonna miss...

Started by Sarah, March 11, 2008, 03:20:11 AM

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Sarah

You know, the other day a little while ago, I realized that I was having trouble opening a jar of pasta sauce.
I mean really, a jar of sauce.
Well, there goes my arm muscles.
That's a good thing I suppose. I love my thinner arms.
But there are downsides too.
The other night I needed help putting the pool cover back on.
I have had a harder and harder time doing that.
I have needed help with boxes lately.
I have never had big arms, but they were usually quite strong surprisingly.
Now, not so much.
I mean a jar of sauce.
I had to hit the edge with a knife around the lid and then that didn't work,I still couldn't do it. And then the hot water method, still no. And finally I hit the edge really hard, enough to break the seal and it went.
Still really hard to turn after even all that.
Wow.
I felt like a girl.
I have always felt like a girl but this was different
I felt a little vulnerable.
Like I couldn't defend myself if I needed to.
This was a little scary.
I've always known that if I was attacked (and it has happened once or twice)
That I could defend myself.
Now, I'm not so sure.
I'm not sure I could fend of a rapist if I needed to.
I don't know about that.
I will miss that strength in a lot of ways.
That iron courage of knowing one's unstopability.
I will miss that.
And get some mace.
That will be a little weird.

I don't know.
I may need to get a jar opener.

Sara
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cindianna_jones

Yup, get the mace ... and a jar opener.

It's your right of passage.  Savor it!

Cindi
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cindybc

Hi Sarah
Sounds much like me especially the jar opening thing. But I got a good jar opener and her name is Wing Walker. I was never that big a person, I have even been named the Hobbit. So I guess I wouldn't  fare to well in a fight with anyone. Never have anyway, I just did my best to not put myself in any predicament where it may be hazardous to my health. Anyway I do have my mace and here name is Wing Walker. Well anyways after living as Cindy for the past 8 years I guess I have learned how to deal with people pretty good. So yes there can be a lot of benefits at being a girl and I have been learning how to utilize this asset to the best of my abilities.

Cindy
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soldierjane

LOL it's definitely a rite of passage for m2fs... I wonder if when f2ms go the other way and grow muscle they notice it with opening jars too.
I used to be able to open jars myself no problem but now I'm a total weakling too... welcome to life with estrogen ;)

As for being attacked... you have to be more mindful of where you walk as a female for bad guys will see you as prey now. Nothing to panic about, it's something one learns with time. Have you considered getting some self-defense or martial arts classes?
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Sarah

Oh, I know a few of those..not a bad idea though.
My friend is teaching a self defense course for transgender people.
Maybe I should take it.
wouldn't be a bad idea to brush up on it a bit.
Not wanting to get turned into some thugs sadistic thing.
Nope. Not on my priority list.
Kinda scary actually

Sara
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lady amarant

my live-in landlady had to help me open a bottle of olives the other day. I'm almost twice her size. That was amusing.

Posted on: 11 March 2008, 07:46:02
As to self defense, take up aikido or some other grappling and locking art - those don't require strength, and in fact turn the attacker's own physical advantages against him.
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Schala

I personally didn't notice much change. I had trouble lifting 50 lbs boxes, now I'll have trouble with 40 lbs boxes, not much of a difference if you ask me. Visual-wise there is no difference in muscles since starting transition two years ago. I could open some jars, and not others, now probably the same. I never could defend myself, that didn't change.

I've not been scared about being weaker or more vulnerable though. I felt that way pre-transition already. It's all same old same old to me.
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Sarah

Quote from: lady amarant on March 11, 2008, 08:54:07 AM
my live-in landlady had to help me open a bottle of olives the other day. I'm almost twice her size. That was amusing.

Posted on: 11 March 2008, 07:46:02
As to self defense, take up aikido or some other grappling and locking art - those don't require strength, and in fact turn the attacker's own physical advantages against him.
I used to take Aikido, I'll probably want to take it up again.
I enjoyed it.
It was a lot of fun.

Sara
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lady amarant

Quote from: Sarah on March 11, 2008, 10:31:14 AM
I used to take Aikido, I'll probably want to take it up again.
I enjoyed it.
It was a lot of fun.

Yeah ... Except when Sensei Greg chucks you about two meters up into the air and expects you to get the break-fall right ... and you don't. That part sucks.
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soldierjane

Quote from: lady amarant on March 11, 2008, 11:34:00 AM
Quote from: Sarah on March 11, 2008, 10:31:14 AM
I used to take Aikido, I'll probably want to take it up again.
I enjoyed it.
It was a lot of fun.

Yeah ... Except when Sensei Greg chucks you about two meters up into the air and expects you to get the break-fall right ... and you don't.

ouch...
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cindybc

Hi Schala hon, Haven't seen you for a couple days, nice to see you again.

I think that the loss of muscle mass occurs over a period of a few years after starting HRT. It's hard to tell for me because I had a eating disorder for a few years, just prior to starting HRT and doing full time. I was way under weight, But hey, mommy Wing Walked helped me get those pounds back.  ;D I have also read somewhere where that loss of weight over a period of time can also affect loss of muscle mass as well. A starving body will nourish itself from the body's fat and muscle mass if it is deprived from the normal sourse of nutrients the body receives from certain foods we eat.

It may have been more because of my eating disorder that cause my loss of muscle mass then it actually was from the estrogen. Anyway I am not certain at all how long a period of time and just how much muscle mass one actually looses over that period of time from just HRT. I have only noticed the change in the last couple of years and I am going on 8 years on HRT. It's not enough to say it actually hampers me that greatly from doing any of the regular stuff I do. But then I don't really do nor have I done any physical work outside of house cleaning and occasionally shoveling snow and gardening for some years now. I love growing green things.  Other then opening containers I do ok and in reasonably healthy and in good shape for my age.

As far as self defence It was mentioned a few times to me but it's kind of difficult to learn some of the moves with the slight problem with arthritis in my joints. I pretty well know how to avoid conflicts anyway. When I was working as a social worker there were times I had to confront possible dangerous situations and I got trough these potential conflicts just by subduing said person with words instead of muscles. I am looking to getting into similar work here except this time I Will be dealing with trans people. That's what I live for, to help others to the best of my ability.

Cindy
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Keira


Don't know, must have had super hands or something cause
I'm still able to open just about anything 18 months in.
I had a quite strong upper body though, so more to lose I suppose.
I can't use my jaw though anymore  ;)
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gothique11

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Natasha

QuoteThings I'm gonna miss...

zilch!
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lady amarant

I've been noticing a steady decline in strength over the last couple of weeks ... and I can honestly say I'm relishing it. Having to ask my live-in landlady to help me with that olive-jar the one time has become a milestone of sorts for me. Hahahahahaha!
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cindybc

Darn plastic containers, just what do they put in the plastic anymore that I can't open with my teeth, but then my choppers may have wore down some. I need to go find a pair of scissors to open them with. But I do carry a small folding knife and a small pair of scissors in my purse just in case I get the munchies and buy a bag of chips or whatever. The epithet on my grave marker reads. Here lies a brave and noble woman who starved to death holding a dang bag of chips in her hand.

Cindy
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Annwyn

EH.  I don't get the paranoia against working out.  Yes I've lost a ton of stregnth and muscle, and I've wanted to.  But I'm still strongest 1 out of 1000000 men and of course nearly every female, because I'm a strength athlete.
It's not hindering the effects of hormones on my body, and it's not effecting my capability to pass, especially if I stick around a weightlifting club environment where being slightly stocky isn't uncommon at all.

Posted on: March 19, 2008, 08:12:07 AM
Quote from: lady amarant on March 11, 2008, 11:34:00 AM
Quote from: Sarah on March 11, 2008, 10:31:14 AM
I used to take Aikido, I'll probably want to take it up again.
I enjoyed it.
It was a lot of fun.

Yeah ... Except when Sensei Greg chucks you about two meters up into the air and expects you to get the break-fall right ... and you don't. That part sucks.

That's fine.  I'm more concerned about the roundhouse kick to the boobs.
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lady amarant

Quote from: Annwyn on March 19, 2008, 09:15:13 AM
That's fine.  I'm more concerned about the roundhouse kick to the boobs.

That sucks too - even when you don't have breasts yet!
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Annwyn

Quote from: lady amarant on March 19, 2008, 09:21:12 AM
Quote from: Annwyn on March 19, 2008, 09:15:13 AM
That's fine.  I'm more concerned about the roundhouse kick to the boobs.

That sucks too - even when you don't have breasts yet!
I'm in an A cup, lol.  Even though I don't wear it, and I've got enough pectoral muscle to hold it up just fine, in fact it really gives the illusion of a larger pectoralis major, like most heavy bench guys have.  I'm wondering when the next growth spurt will start up, prolly soon.

Of course I'll miss not being able to be at the max of my physical potential.  I watch all these anime about super strong people and know that I could be somewhere near there if I wasn't on these hormones, but it doesn't bother me that much.  Not being able to hold my shoulders high and laugh with the guys like regular is also a drag, but hey, considering all the things I'm getting over the few things I'm losing, who cares?!!!
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Berliegh

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