Are you a vulnerable woman now?

[Rachael]

if anything, im stronger now... im not afraid to defend myself anymore, i can stand up for myself.
the past was the weakness.
R >

[LynnER]

No matter how big you are... when a high velocity projectile takes out your kneecaps... the smallest foe becomes very tall very quickly...

I'll bet lots of us have a firearm, or a whole collection of them.  Maybe part of our earlier "gotta be macho" selves.  But, I hope no one who is TS, GRS or not, ever resorts to their use, unless they are in Texas, or other sympathetic state (sympathetic to toting and using guns).  They will NOT be treated well in prison, to say the least.
A big part of our survival now is not letting any part of the system hurt us, including those who's job it is to protect.
Oh, I still have some number of them at home, but that's what they're for now......home protection.

I'm not really that big into guns... but I've learned the necesity...  and more and more living in Texas is paying off... I used to hate the place but now.... (Its actualy leagle to shoot a tresspasser if youve given them fair warning... and someone breaking into your home is a fair target the moment any part of them enters the building)   In public I depend on my speed, my friends, and pure ferocity...  Though for certian things/places I may start packing when my CC liscence arives in the mail....

[Dennis]

I'd recommend Wen-do, self defence for women. Teaches you to "dirty-fight", make weapons out of anything you can, and use leverage with less strength than your opponent. Good for short guys too, only you can't get into a course unless you're female.

Dennis

[Autumn]

Good for short guys too, only you can't get into a course unless you're female.

Dennis

you got my hopes up.

[Rachael]

No matter how big you are... when a high velocity projectile takes out your kneecaps... the smallest foe becomes very tall very quickly...

I'll bet lots of us have a firearm, or a whole collection of them.  Maybe part of our earlier "gotta be macho" selves.  But, I hope no one who is TS, GRS or not, ever resorts to their use, unless they are in Texas, or other sympathetic state (sympathetic to toting and using guns).  They will NOT be treated well in prison, to say the least.
A big part of our survival now is not letting any part of the system hurt us, including those who's job it is to protect.
Oh, I still have some number of them at home, but that's what they're for now......home protection.

oh i do declare.....
using a gun is SOOOOO unladlylike *rolls eyes*

depends if its self defence or not... if it is, you wont even see a jail cell ...
R >

[NicholeW.]

oh i do declare.....
using a gun is SOOOOO unladlylike *rolls eyes*

Hardly, 'unladylike.' Simply crude and nasty, not to mention moving one more distance from their intended goal: safety.

What does a gun provide one with? Security? Safety? When you hold one does a sense of peace and comfort flow through you? Or do fear and thoughts of a rather more violent sort arise?

Nichole

[lady amarant]

What does a gun provide one with? Security? Safety? When you hold one does a sense of peace and comfort flow through you? Or do fear and thoughts of a rather more violent sort arise?

The first thing every Sensei ever told me about weapons was this: The moment you take up a weapon, you usually put yourself at a disadvantage, because you forget all the other weapons you have at your disposal, not to mention your surroundings. In the context, they were of course referring to not forgetting your unarmed skills, but I think it's true in the wider context as well.

Like any other weapon, a gun narrows your focus, and makes the situation as much more dangerous for you as for the person you are aiming at. Unless you have learned to overcome that narrowing, you turn a potentially deadly situation into a certainly deadly one. I'm not saying not to use a gun, but if you are going to, make sure that it doesn't restrict your options rather than giving you more of them.

[cindybc]

I don't like guns knives or any type of weapons, I don't believe in violence but I do have lots of self confidence in my own abilities to socialise and get along with folks. For an old bat like I am it is nice to say I am not aware of having any enemies that I may be aware of. I also choose not to go anywhere where there might be problems after certtain hours. If you are a young person then I understand the need to want to go out and have a good time. What I have been suggesting to the young folks here and at the trans meeting here last night is, bring a friend with you. It don't mater if you are a T woman or a GG the perpetrator see a woman vulnerable and alone, easy prey.  As Wing Walker and I go everywhere together to do what ever we need to do. But then I'm kind of a sucky I like to go where ever she goes.

Cindy

[Lisbeth]

Being a woman is no joke.  I've been pawed, and I've been groped, and I've been stalked.  That's why I'm taking martial arts.  The most important part of it is knowing that I don't have to be afraid, that I don't have to be a victim.

[Kate]

Vulnerable? Only in the sense that I'm aware that (near-sighted, half-blind) men might see me in sexual terms now. I'm not afraid of them, just aware that they may see me in a very different context than before... and that my actions which would have just been "friendly" as a guy might be interpreted differently now.

But ya know, at 6'2", it's just really hard to feel "vulnerable," lol. I almost feel empowered in a way, as I have the height to protect me (and I think it intimidates some people), and I'm slowly gaining an appreciation for the power of female sexuality

AND, I'm lovin' the way most men instinctively feel a need to protect women, that urge for chivalry. I kinda feel like I've *increased* my safety net out there, rather than become a potential victim everywhere.

I know people talk about a "male privilege," and IMHO it DOES exist. But you know, there's a "female privilege" too which is REALLY nice

Guns and weapons? God no. Don't get me wrong, I've handled them all at one point. But I have this silly notion that tools attract reasons to use them. My faith lies elsewhere.

~Kate~

[lady amarant]

Guns and weapons? God no. Don't get me wrong, I've handled them all at one point. But I have this silly notion that tools attract reasons to use them. My faith lies elsewhere.

I'd have to agree. Tools of violence tend to aggravate violent situations. All too often you hear stories about people back home in SA resorting to the gun and ending up dead themselves, where there might have been a different outcome had they taken the opportunity to consider alternatives. A weapon should be a last resort, if any resort at all.

[NicholeW.]

... All too often you hear stories about people back home in SA resorting to the gun and ending up dead themselves, where there might have been a different outcome had they taken the opportunity to consider alternatives. A weapon should be a last resort, if any resort at all.

In THIS USA as well, Simone.

...and I'm slowly gaining an appreciation for the power of female sexuality

AND, I'm lovin' the way most men instinctively feel a need to protect women, that urge for chivalry. I kinda feel like I've *increased* my safety net out there, rather than become a potential victim everywhere.

I know people talk about a "male privilege," and IMHO it DOES exist. But you know, there's a "female privilege" too which is REALLY nice

... I have this silly notion that tools attract reasons to use them. My faith lies elsewhere.

~Kate~

I'll bite again, not picking on you, Kate. At least not meaning to, but you've written a couple of things this afternoon that have struck me as being worth following up with.

In regard to 'female privilege.' How do you mean that?

Is having one's body 'objectified' a privilege? Or is there something beyond that, like 'being able to form fairly intense relationships w/out the need to sexualize them?' Like with other women, children, etc?

Is there an "African-American" privilege?

I agree that in some situations being part of a minority or a subordinate-class might have some advantages over being a part of the dominant class. But, is there a 'privilege?' And if so how does that play out? What places it in the context of social interactions? Where is it placed?

Goddess, you just say the most intriguing things this afternoon! At least for me! 

[lady amarant]

In THIS USA as well, Simone.

Gee, is there more than one? 

[NicholeW.]

Many of our citizens aren't aware there are at least two.  In fact, I think some of our citizens are unaware that there is more than one country on the entire planet!! Just different states all in the USAmerica. 

N~

[cindybc]

Hi, Kate,

I would love to have you as my best friend.

As for involving the law, now that is a good question. I have heard that if you are involved in a crime that is a violent interaction with another person, even in self defence, most times it is the trans person the cops haul off to jail.

I read in some paper not long ago of a similar situation and this time it was a GG they hauled off to jail and proceed to beat the crap out of her until she was about an inch being beaten to death. I also believe that this kind of violence is much more prevalent against GG's then it is to us, but then we are a minority compared to GG's.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, a lone woman walking down some empty street at night becomes good bait for a predator. Predators don't bother worrying or waste time debating if you are a GG or a TS, to them you are simply easy prey. Safeguard by bringing a friend with you. Or if you really feel it a necessity for something to defend yourself with, take up some type of martial arts.

Cindy

[Rachael]

As for involving the law, now that is a good question. I have heard that if you are involved in a crime that is a violent interaction with another person, even in self defence, most times it is the trans person the cops haul off to jail.

I read in some paper not long ago of a similar situation and this time it was a GG they hauled off to jail and proceed to beat the crap out of her until she was about an inch being beaten to death. I also believe that this kind of violence is much more prevalent against GG's then it is to us, but then we are a minority compared to GG's.

Rumour, and one off cases that apear to be more prevenant due to bad press they attract....

The police are generally good people, like you and i. A few bad apples stink the whole barrel of good to high hell....

Dont be so quick to judge.
And they will only haul the transperson off to jail if A, they can tell, and B, if they have done something other than utter self defence...


there is such thing as reasonable force... self defence doesnt cover shooting the whole clip at the guy who attacked you. one in the knee is enough if it stops him attacking you, that is all your legally allowed to do. use resonable force to stop the attack, whatever that may be and no more.

Sad thing is, many transpeople hear these stories and go out into the world hating cops.

I feel ashamed that im associated with some of you... when im on the force after university, i garuntee ill get painted with that brush, regardless of my status. Blind hatred makes you no better than the supposed 'transphobic officers'
R >

[cindybc]

Hi Rachael hon, sorry if my post didn't set right with you. I certainly had not meant to deliberately hurt or upset anyone. I never said that most or all police officers are violently aggressive and could create more problems then good, I only said, I was not certain As to just how often this kind of treatment by police takes place, I really don't know, but it happens.  Have you ever been assaulted by one of those predators or street thugs? I pray you never do. Well I have experienced one such situation where I was beaten and assaulted once, ya in the nice little peaceful town I lived in, but thankfully never had a repeat performance luckily my injuries were not severe. I remember a lady on this very board tell me 7 years ago, "you are never 100% safe in any town or city no mater where it is."

I would certainly not want to experience that again. The police were involved, someone else had called them. I was already back home when there was  a knock at my door and I opened the door, I was still pretty obviously shook up and she noticed it and she was sympathetic, But then I knew every police person in that town. There was not much she could do to help me as far as finding the perpetrator, but she did sit with me until I chilled out. I will admit I am truly not certain how many bad cops there are, probably in the minority, one can only hope, I thought I had already mentioned that.

I believe there is a thread here on Susan's somewhere that lists violent deaths of TS folks if you wish to check it out.  All I wish to emphasise is just be careful and do not expose yourself unnecessarily to any possible dangerous situation where you could get badly hurt or worst.  I do send prayers for your success as a police woman Rachael hon.

Cindy

[Shana A]

From the first moment I transitioned, I felt much more vulnerable out in the world. I quickly stopped shopping at the 24/7 grocery store at 1 AM, being careful when walking to my car in parking lots, etc. Although I'm now living as androgyne, I don't feel any less vulnerable, even if wearing male clothing. It isn't a friendly world out there for someone who is visibly gender variant.

Z

[Kate]

Vulnerable? Only in the sense that I'm aware that (near-sighted, half-blind) men might see me in sexual terms now. I'm not afraid of them...

Ya know, I sorta take that back. Since reading these threads about fear and vulnerability, I've been paying more attention to how men look at me now. And ya know... it's not exactly FRIENDLY. Older men, and younger but obviously married guys are often super-sweet and chivalrous. THAT I love.

But in noticing my encounters today, AND in hindsight, younger men often give me this look of... I dunno... Wariness? Discomfort? I USED to fear I was being read and making them uncomfortable. But no one else seems to notice me, so I doubt guys have some special ability to tell.

Women are almost always friendly with me, smiling and laughing at whatever chitchat we come up with. But men... men go very quiet, and don't seem to want to make eye contact. They're obviously uncomfortable, but I'm not sure why? I DO think the height has something to do with it, so maybe they're intimidated. I dunno. But in any case, it doesn't exactly give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, lol...

~Kate~

[Keira]

Tall women are intimidating.
How often does a 6 foot guy look up at a women, I'd say, never for 99.5% of them.

Also, strangely, I've found there's a automated response to tall being manly from men
that I don't see in women. Probably again because many women are used to have
other women be taller than them, so they don't see that as a manly trait per see.
Its an automated response in the brain. The brain does a lot of automatic gendering.
In our case, with the height with otherwise female attributes it creates a mixed signal I think.

I don't want to seem discouraging, but that's what I found.
A guy, from a course, which knew my name, I had introduced myself
and he'd seen me in class, still refered me as a "gars"=guys (which
in french is gender related, but not in english) when he left. Very anoying.