What a week

[Mario]

Hey everyone. The Friday before Easter, I hit a brick wall. I was with my girlfriend who is in the middle of a bad divorce, and her ex comes by banging on the door, then on the bedroom window demanding to talk to her. This guy is insane. For six months now she had to deal with his 10 to 20 phone messages a day, and making in very hard for her to be with her kids. Now by this point, she had to check herself in to the hospital. I will pick her up today. But how much can a person take? He then called their 14 year old daughter who happens to be best friends with my 14 year old, and told her he caught us in bed together. What an idiot. You dont tell kids that even if that were true. And on my front, My 14 year old is not taking what I am going to do well. My 11 year old daughter, Madison, os well beyond her years. She told me she loves me for who I am on the inside, not what will change on the outside. Amazing. I have alot of support from people I have known for years, but for Pam, my girlfriend, she goes through hell and back because she loves me. She has tried to explain it to her daughter, Tiffani but she gets so much negitve crap from her dad and aunt, that she is really mad at her mom. I ofcourse feel responsiblr for the entire thing, even though their marrige was over years ago. When I am a total man and complete, he is going to freak. Then what? we have to leave the state because of a psyco?
                                                   Marco

[Dennis]

Have you tried calling the police? That sounds like criminal harassment to me. Keep records and logs of calls and incidents. In the records, make note of what witnesses there are. If he leaves answering machine messages, save them. Save your call display records. If you don't have call display, get it.

At the very least, that should be sufficient evidence for a civil restraining order.

Dennis

[jaded]

i can understand a little what its like i had an ex stalked me for a year (i was still a trying to be the perfect girl) i got a restraining order so he sent his brother untill one day he tried to beat me poor guy hehe.
a neighbor called the cops he got arrested only for a short time.
i was lucky he didnt have a gun you be carefull and if i  where you i would do everthing dennis said and more if you can
be safe
           ,jaded

[taylor]

Marco,

Are his kids witness to the abusive behavior? If so it falls under some other laws.


Taylor

[Mario]

Dennis,
     This crap has been going on for months. She has a lawyer, she had saved several thretning messages, and the lawyer said he did not need them. Whatever. She is staying with us until he sets up a restraining order. This morning he calls and leaves a message to wish her a happy bithday. What a flippin loon. Did you say Brownstein did your surgery? I am searching for a surgeon, and I see he does most of that work. But I must say his looks the best.
                                                                         Take Care,

                                                                                     Marco

[Dennis]

Even if her divorce lawyer won't do anything, she might want to try the cops. And try for a free consult with another lawyer to get another opinion on it.

And on the other topic, yeah Brownstein did my surgery. I'm really happy with it and it looks awesome imo. If you want to shoot me a PM, I'll send you a picture.

Dennis

[Mario]

Taylor,

    Yes they are. There are so many incidents. One time at her apartment him and I got into it,he called me some crappy things in front of 2 of my kids. He never shuts up, and never listens to what is being said to him. He has punished his daughter several times like taking volleyball practice away just because she was with her mom. Now he has removed her from the team. This is club ball, so there is a big tournement every June in Reno. She is not going. She is my daughters best friend. Now Tiffani(her daughter) does not want to speak to her mom, and is mad at her for still wanting to be with me. They are the ones forcing a choice, not Pam(my girlfriend). Its a mess. My daughter Mariah is mad about all of it too. They will just have to learn to accept it all one day.  Take care.

                                                   Marco


Posted at: April 27, 2006, 11:46:58 AMDennis,
     What is a PM? Yes I want a picture. And how long inf you were on T before surgery?  Now, on the cops. On Christmas Eve, we went to pick up Tiffani, with the cops there. There was and still is no custody order in place, so it was up to her. She is so manipulated by her father, and she decided to stay so she  would not miss out on Christmas presents from her aunt. They fill her brain with all this crap about me and her mom, ofcourse not understanding what I am really all about. That is a lesbian situation. THAT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!!!! He just had the phone number changed yesterday on Tiff's cell phone, so Pam cannot call her. I want to hit this man.

                                            Marco

[Dennis]

PM = personal message. I emailed you a pic. I started on quarter-dose of T January 05, went to half April 05, to three-quarters July 05 and had surgery in August 05. So I still wasn't on full dose when I had the surgery. Been on full dose since Oct 05 though.

Since the pic my scars have faded somewhat. The spare tire hasn't, but I'm working on that.

Dennis

[taylor]

Marco,

Should your girlfriend decide to file a restraining order, on the form ( at least in our state) there is a place that she can request the children remain with her, due to his violent behavior in front of them.  It is considered "child neglect" to have this behavior in front of kids, and as an investigator for my state for Child Protective Services, I see this all the time. 

It is not a custody order, that is determined at a later time, and a different judge. BUT it can be a tool in some cases to help the courts determine custody issues.  ( Again depends on your state laws) You would think in all states that during custody hearings and divorce hearings,, DV would be heard, but that is not the case.


The reason that the lawyer told her not to bother with saving tapes may have to do with specific laws in your state. In some cases they cannot be used, in some states they can be.  I would keep stuff documented regardless of what the lawyer said, and it never hurts to talk with a second lawyer.


Your facing some real rough challenges, but hang in there bro!

Peace,

Taylor

[Dennis]

Yes, re tapes, it may have been that the lawyer thought that the tapes were recorded conversations and it may be illegal to tape conversations without the other party's knowledge where you live. Or the lawyer thought that answering machine tapes would fall into that (although you'd think that anyone would know that they were being taped if they left a message on an answering machine).

But don't get rid of those tapes, definitely. You may need them.

About child protection, I too work for the Ministry doing child protection law and it's established case law here that abusing the other party in front of the children is grounds for a finding that the child is in need of protection.

Dennis

[Mario]

Thanks  Taylor. I will report along the way.

                                  Marco


Posted at: April 27, 2006, 02:41:32 PMDennis,

     I had e-mailed you but  it came back. Don't know why. So I will tell you here then, thanks for the picture. It looks great. I did a bunch of rambling on, but you won't get it. The link did not highlight so I just typed it in. Browmstein does good work.

                                                        Marco