So.
While I'm not entirely sure If I'm transitioning yet, I have been changing recently. In the last week, since I'd decided to be more open about my sexuality and gender identity, I've become much happier. I'd never made any connection between my seemingly endless sour mood and playing the role of masculine husband and father.
Not that the husband and father aspect will change: that's as much a part of me as my sexual and gender identity.
Not only have I noticed that I'm happier, my wife has noticed it, too. She used to joke with some of her friends that I'd make a great wife. Well, now it seems she has both a husband and a wife, in one convenient package.
We've been talking a lot about these sort of things over the past few days, and she mentioned something I never knew. The woman to whom and I currently married is the same girl I was dating in my senior year of high school (1987). She mentioned to me last night that when we first began dating, I seemed a bit feminine to her. Then, for about the first 10 years of our marriage, I seemed more masculine. Then, over the next 9 years, and especially in the past 2 weeks, she'd noticed that I was becoming more feminine again.
She noticed when we first met, and I didn't even think of myself as androgynous back then.
Wow. She noticed.
Sometimes, I'm really slow on the uptake.
