Do you...

[Veetje]

...feel some sort of hate/jealousy towards the gender you wanted to be deeply within/striving to be

I have this rather frequently and its making me really bitter.....if I see pictures of girls on a forum I often visit I tend to ignore, badmouth but certainly not compliment them. And socially when I am out I keep thinking "Life's not fair, bitch! Stay away from me"

I guess I am a bit weird 

[Nero]

I feel envy when I see fathers with their children. I'd love to be called 'daddy' and have a little girl to bounce on my lap. 

[Constance]

I was jealous of my wife's ability to breastfeed our children. It gave her a connection I would never be able to have.

Addendum:
On my lunch break, I went outside to read and have a cup of tea. I saw a reasonably beautiful woman walk by and I felt a pang of jealousy again. She seemed to move with a grace that I'd have to practice hard to achieve. Also, she wore beautiful clohes. Sure, I could wear things like that, too. But, to be able to not only wear them but look good in them. Well, I've been telling myself I need to exercise more anyway.

[samanthawhalen]

Most definitely.  Being a people observer I'm constantly reminded of the fact that I am male.

[Chaunte]

I will admit to occassionally feeling some envy and a wistful longing.  Jealousy?  No.

Jealousy is an emotion I find destructive and interferes with being "one of the girls" at work.

Chaunte

[lady amarant]

Oh yeah. Green with envy and longing, but as long as you don't let that desire turn nasty, you're fine, methinks.

[Constance]

Any argument taken far enough will end in semantics.

I Googled both jealousy and envy to be clear on the differences.

Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may have no knowledge of threatening the relationship.

Envy is an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.

After comparing the two definitions, I see that I should have said I was envious rather than jealous.

[cindybc]

Hi Lady Amarant I agree with you. I think it is a natural thing for a girl to be jealous of another, not just TS folks but GG's as well can feel jealous of one another. As long as it is just the normal type of longing to look like type of jealousy thing it won't hurt you or anyone else. Extreme jealousy is something else, the tempest and the storm.

Since I am none aggressive I just like to watch, I mean there is nothing wrong with admiring beauty from a distance.

Cindy

[mr_marc]

I do sometimes, i feel left out in convosations since i think we all know what some young men are like
And on hot summer days, i have my good days and bad days i guess.

[Christine Eryn]

I've always been jealous. It's starting to weaken as I take steps towards my goals, but it's still there.

[cindybc]

Hi Christine
Yes after a while when we become more comfortable and able to understand our own nature as a woman. The jealousy factor does decline some although it is both normal and part of our nature to be jealous of other women.

What's scarier was when Wing Walker and I were watching the news (which for me is a rarity) I don't like watching the news on the account of some of it makes me feel truly sad to the point of crying over some of the cruelty that some are capable of inflicting on others.

Anyway I was watching a gentleman announcing the latest about Iraq. I mean I was studiously scrutinising this man not missing one detail of his features. Then it dawned on me as to why I was drawing a blank while trying to understand what he was saying. I could say he was a caring individual but any other feelings just weren't there I was drawing blanks when I was trying to figure out the characteristics of this man was. I just plane had no conception of how a male processed thought and feelings. I mean I can still sense them but what I was sensing was just no longer that which was part of me for all those years previous to starting full time 8 years ago.

That was a really odd experience.  Sorry if this was all over the map insted of on topic.

Cindy

[Berliegh]

...feel some sort of hate/jealousy towards the gender you wanted to be deeply within/striving to be

I have this rather frequently and its making me really bitter.....if I see pictures of girls on a forum I often visit I tend to ignore, badmouth but certainly not compliment them. And socially when I am out I keep thinking "Life's not fair, bitch! Stay away from me"

I guess I am a bit weird 

I think you may be a bit weird or is it me?..........I have nothing but admiration for attractive looking women...... 

[RebeccaFog]

Hi,

   I feel little stabbing pains of sadness or envy when I see a woman.

   I used to admire and love Tina Fey, but she's come to represent everything that I am not.  I can't watch her anymore.   I am not overwhelmed by the feeling, but I am envious.

                                       



Rebis

[Veetje]

...feel some sort of hate/jealousy towards the gender you wanted to be deeply within/striving to be

I have this rather frequently and its making me really bitter.....if I see pictures of girls on a forum I often visit I tend to ignore, badmouth but certainly not compliment them. And socially when I am out I keep thinking "Life's not fair, bitch! Stay away from me"

I guess I am a bit weird 

I think you may be a bit weird or is it me?..........I have nothing but admiration for attractive looking women...... 

Yes, I think I am a bit weird then. Thanks

[vanessalaw]

Yes, I feel envious when I see a beautiful woman. I want to look like her, move like her, wear the clothes she is wearing. Yet, as strange as it may sound, I don't feel envious in a 'destructive' way - I appreciate her, and try to find ways I can imitate her in look and dress. I don't have bad thoughts towards her.

[Christine Eryn]

Cindybc, I didn't think about that part of women always being jealous of each other. You're right. But, my jealousy is differently targeted. Really I'm speaking of youth, and pretty much having all the right "pieces" to begin with.

[Alena43]

I agree with Vanessa Law that when I see a beautiful girl all I want to do is look like her, walk like her, dress like her. I am envious in that way, but I don't hold any bitter or bad feelings toward her. I just want to be her.

Hugs to All,
Ariana

[cindybc]

Yes I also feel a mite jealous at some of them, many of them are really such awesomely good looking girls here, yes. But they are all young enough to be my daughters, some even granddaughters, so I have a lot of respect, pride and I love for them. Like they were my own children and I don't really hang around here for my good health or my youthful beauty, yea, in my dreams. I have already graduated Susan's transgender school 8 years ago,  I have come back to see if I can be of assistance in what ever way that I can.

Have yourself a wonderful morning

Cindy

[Constance]

Yes, I feel envious when I see a beautiful woman. I want to look like her, move like her, wear the clothes she is wearing. Yet, as strange as it may sound, I don't feel envious in a 'destructive' way - I appreciate her, and try to find ways I can imitate her in look and dress. I don't have bad thoughts towards her.

I know what you mean. It's not like I say to myself, "If I can't be that gorgeous, then one should be." No. It's admiration, albeit envious admiration.

[cindybc]

Hi Veetje You are upset at what life has handed you. It does not have to be a negative thing.
As I stated in another thread,

We all deserve to be happy, we certainly have all earned it. Who else in this world can say that they have completely and literally changed their lives around to a totally unknown new life. The path of heroes, is not an easy one but it can be done.

The operative word here is change. If one wants to survive then they have to deal with change, otherwise it's a hopeless battle that you can not win. If you wish to share I will listen hon.

Cindy