Feelings about how it is

[Terri-Gene]

Jillieann, there is no way I could say where you fit as a lable, it all depends on what you feel you are and how important that is to you.  Some will retreat to male mode any time someone looks at them crosseyed, others simply go on being themselves, no matter what happens.

I think most of the public opinion happens because they believe a CD will switch gender specifications whenever it is convienient, and TS will not, for no reasons.

Those specifications are pretty general though.  A CD will of course switch when the need arises, but so will many TS's.

I do know that for some TS's, coming back to male for any reason is an abhorent affair and can't tolerate it.  some can, but I believe that would be more in the ranks of the less female identity/identified. 

I dunno, you just have to be what you can be as your circumstance permits.  There is nobody you can ask about this.  You have to KNOW who you are and what you are and only then can you really and actually be YOU.
If you are a female 24/7 I see no need of displaying any male gender at all, for any reason, but I don't know all there is about everybody.

Terri

[Merope]

I appreciate the heading of this thread.  It is so appropriate and I can even see the irony in it.
How do I feel, I don't know after all this time   my perspective changes and I am either soaring or crashing back amid feelings of bitter disappointment - and lets face it shame
Seems there really are two sides to me - and I cannot reach a compromise. Added to this is concern about how others (my family) would feel - I cannot not take this into account.
My wife - I know she loves me deeply but..
My son - well he is an alpha male in the true sense of the word (uno manly not at all macho) we get on really well and I would hate things to change in any way.  My take is that he can appreciate the intrinsic worth of things - and he would not be judgemental, but.... things would no longer be the same.
My daughter,.........well this is strange I think she would understand completely, we are so very very alike

See, I want my cake & want to eat it too.   And while I so envy you all, your looks and attitude.  Looks like I am stuck in catapillar mode.  Can remember seeing a cicada, unable to make the change from underground nymph to the true beauty of its adult state.  Can remember feeling deeply sad for it. I know why now, we had a lot in common.

I come here regularly, I like the friendships I have made, and posts are inspirational.  But looks like the pendulum has swung - I will be like Lisbeth for a while,  operating in male mode

[Terri-Gene]

Hi merope, Sounds like you are still on the cusp there.  It is like that for many I have heard from.  Not wanting to lose what they already have with no assurance of what will be gained by changing gender.

It is simple really.  the change generally doesn't gain you much you couldn't have done anyway.  It's just how you feel about yourself and the world around you.  Some of us in the Transsexual world are happier in the gender of the opposite sex then we would be in the one we were born in. 

Give it time and let no one pressure you, in time you will come to a determination of your own and at that time will know what direction to go in to get to it.  Do not let anyone make your decisions for you, you will be the gender that you know you are and want to be.

There is no "Higher" plane of existence in the Transgendered world.  A happy confident CD is no lower then a post op TS, but the two live so very different.  You simply have to take the time/energy/experience to learn about yourself and what it will take to make you happy.  This is something that nobody but you can do and nobody can do it for you, only help when possible.

Terri