I may by hasty, but what can I say, Im anxious?

[BandannaChild]

Ive been doing a lot of reading, quite a bit acually, probably getting close to obession.

I am 19, just turned 19, and I started puberty late, so I am just starting to shave regulary, like.. every 3 days or so. I do not want to continue down the path of T.

Ive seen my doctor for the first time about my gender idenity issue, and I have booked an appointment with her social worker who "has a history in physcology". If that matters much I do not know, she thinks it will. She is willing to send a referal to the Clarke Institute for me, and I am physced despite having heard so many bad things about the place.

The question I have is; Before I can do my RLET, I have atleast a year. I do not want these hormones I currently have to continue in my body. Can I get my T levels dropped soon, or can I get on anti-androgens soon? Could I go to my doc and say "Could you subscribe me <insert what I want here>?"

Thanks forums, sorry to ask so many questions

[amberctm]

First off good for you for you in seekinking help and dealing with your feeling and emotions so early.

Now to answer your question of  Could I go to my doc and say "Could you subscribe me <insert what I want here>?" You said you have been doing your reading and you may have come across the Standards of Care in your travels. Any doctor who is familiar with Trans issues, and the SOC  more than likely will not with out first consulting your therapist first. That said, find a good therapist and don't rush. I know it seems like eternity but you got time. You will discover things about yourself that you never even knew.

Take care,
Amber
Edit for spelling

[jan c]

well ahem here's another angle on this for ya
when I reached puberty it was mixed to say the least.
I had not known I was technically I.S. I began developing in the breast area around the same time as a little fuzz down south. To the MD; 'It's normal, it happens. Check back in a couple years, if it doesn't subside.'
Didn't. Other stuff wasn't happening all that much, voice deepening, etc.
Consultations with doc, to which I was not privy.
I remember one somewhat dramatic (and traumatic) question before the shots began: "you do want to be a boy don't you?"
I eventually got a beard and a baritone sound out of that deal.
Not all that beneficial to me.
Still have the breasts, though they did not develop so well. (they came back. YAY!)
I hear your anxiety. You are not being necessarily hasty.
SOC are sometimes for someone else's benefit.
In my case 34 yrs ago, such a standard of care did not necessarily apply to me... it was substantially more important to the family that my outward appearance matched my external gonads than it did my inner self. Still shaving. Gonna hurt and be costly to be rid of it. BIG P.I.T.A.

I know it seems like eternity but you got time.

due to my own experience I have a little problem with the very glib statement like that.
yours

jan

[stephanie_craxford]

Amber is quite right.

Generally speaking in Ontario a Dr will not prescribe HRT without proper support for doing so ( a diagnosis that would indicate the need).  The Clark, now called the CAMH, has it's up sides and it's down sides, it depends on who you talk to.  My own Dr referred me there as well and when I got their questionnaire in the mail  and read the hoops I would have to jump through I decided it was not for me, I was so put off by it that I decided to take another route (Legally of course).  Having said that I know of others who have been to CAMH and have had great results, I guess it's how you take their methodology, and that is a choice that you will have to make.

I would strongly recommend that you go through with the referral, and when you get their information package decide from there.  in Ontario CAMH is the ultimate "Gate keeper".  However, in light of recent developments in the way TS are looked at, they have modified their approach in the way they treat TS.  What have you got to loose besides a few months.  Check them out and if you are comfortable in going that route then go for it.

Your other option is to find your own therapist who will take you on as a patient, then get your Dr to write a referral to them to treat you, then if a diagnosis indicates GID the therapist should/will either recommend HRT of write the prescription.

Just be advised that the patient/Dr ratio is so out of whack that you may find it very difficult to find a therapist who has the space in their patient load to take you on.  Many provinces, including Ontario, regulate the Dr/patient ratio, so even if a therapist may be willing to take you on they may not be permitted.  To further complicate this issue is being able to find a therapist who is experienced in gender issues.

Yep it can take a while, and right now you at your age you have lot of time, use it wisely.

Steph

[Melissa]

Another thing I have consistently heard is when you go through these large institutions (Clarke in Canada and Charring Cross in the UK), the transition process can be slowed way down.  Many people wait a good 6 months or more for their first appointment.  I have been transitioning for about 7 months now and have already been on hormones for half that time.  Of course the upside is that you get a lot of things paid for by going that route.

Melissa

[Kimberly]

^*shrug*
For contrast I waited 6months for my first appointment going a private route (not that I have any other option here(USA) ). ^*chortle* An not that that wait did me any good anyway as I switched to a different (current) doctor not long after.

Even so, getting anything paid for by someone else is a good thing. This is a stupidly stinking expensive proposition.

[BandannaChild]

I see... ... ... Stick with the route my doctor has sent me down, incase I disagree or no longer feel the need, make that descesion when you cross that bridge.

I still have this fear, that big ole T is damaging me, or atleasts thats how I feel. You say what do I have to lose? Well, if I wait long enough, I am develop late stages of puberty, which would lead to FFM one day. Or am I just overaggatering, and a few more months wont do substainail harm to me body?

In short, I strongly dislike my current hormone road, change is what I need, and change needs time.

[Kimberly]

I sympathize with you BandannaChild. If I knew then what I do now I would probably be pleading with anyone and everyone to get rid of the testosterone. Worse stuff on the planet... Unless you are a guy, lol.

That said I am really not sure what you can do, my first thought would be to talk to your Doctor and ask for a testosterone suppressant. ^*shrug* To be honest I have no idea what, if anything, that would do or accomplish. It is, however, something I would try if I was back at that stage again.

For what it is worth.

[jan c]

I sympathize with you BandannaChild. If I knew then what I do now I would probably be pleading with anyone and everyone to get rid of the testosterone. Worse stuff on the planet... Unless you are a guy, lol.

exactly my sentiments; removing that permanent damage from that chemical combo tends to be very costly and *ahem* uncomfortable.

(Still having a little problem with the glibness of statements here, "oh you've all the time in the world."
ri-i-ight. We all live forever don't we.)

BandannaChild, you are clearly concerned about facts such as beard growth, been slow going in your case, you'd prefer it to not get too gnarly. The increased density will probably occur, could be a couple, could be more years. Could happen all-of-a-sudden, like. If you feel this is urgent, and it appears that you do, you may want to present it as such. That Clarke Scenario Steph outlined sounds hella daunting. You have a referral check it out. You feel that time's a wastin', it might just be.
I have an attitude cause o' my own damage - If I had the insight and info you had, if I could have acted on it I surely would've tried. (Not so easily done within the law in like 1973. In the southern Newnited Snakes.)

[stephanie_craxford]

BandannaChild are you a resident in Ontario, I didn't notice if you mentioned that.  If you are then you will realize the critical Dr/Specialist shortage in this province, and the massive waiting list for specialist treatments.  So assuming that you get the referral to the CAMH it takes approximately 1 to 2 months for them to get the documentation to you (It's quite extensive).  Once you have completed it and mailed it to, it  will take them another 2 months to review your submission to see if they will see you.  If you are successful at this point you should get a date for a meeting 2 months further on.  The meeting is an all day affair.  You will be met and receive a complete medical examination from a physician who is a specialist in GID.  From there you present yourself in front of a panel of 3 GID specialists, and the last reported make-up was 2 pshrinks and a medical dr.  If you are successful at this point you will be advised that your Dr. will receive their report in (you guessed it) 2 to 3 months.  If not you be required to return the next day for another round. once your Dr receives the report you will be advised of the CAMH findings.  Keep your fingers crossed, but they should have given you an idea of this prior to your leaving CAMH.

So lets see, what's the total so far - approx. 8 months!  So the CAMH report is a good one and you are GID... Yes!!!! bring on the drugs.  Now this depends if the Dr wants to, or feels comfortable prescribing HRT, they may not be and will then refer you to an endo.  Now I don't want to discourage you but it took me 6 months to get in to see my endo and I live near a fairly large city by Canadian standards.  So what are we up to now... 6 + 8 = 14 months, and not so much as a whiff of HRT, and all the while that old testosterone is wrecking havoc with your body.

OK that's worst case...  There are a couple of other routes you can look at if this is not fast enough.

You could move to another province in Canada and once you've met that provinces residency requirements you can start with their medical system and hope that it is faster.  Or you could move to another country and try your luck there.  Or do what I did... I took the time to find my Dr a Dr who was willing to take on a TS, and one that was willing to find a therapist who would take me on as their patient.  This was a 6 month effort on my part but I was lucky.

Don't get me wrong, I'm at the other end where my time is running out, I wanted it all to be done and over with yesterday.  Then reality kicked in.  I can understand your anxiety, and the need to get things going but to be very truthful it's not going to happen overnight and at the age of 19 I believe that testosterone has probably already done it's worst, what's another year.

Steph

[amberctm]

(Still having a little problem with the glibness of statements here, "oh you've all the time in the world."
ri-i-ight. We all live forever don't we.)

Jan,
I'm unsure why you feel that my statement is "glib." I understand that you have passed your prime,and may feel this was about yourself, but my statment was toward a 19 year old looking for a shortcut on transition. I cannot speak for anyone else here, but I take the SOC very seriously. Therefore when someone asks a question regaurding transition I will always point them in that direction. They are there for the purpose of not only safety, but to give us what little legal edge we can to further ourselves in a society that is ignorant about our situation. Thats the way it is. Shortcuts will only delay transition. I'm not saying that if one disagrees with their provider not to seek a second oppion, but rather be prepared and understand the time it may take to transition.
Amber
[edit]Because I wanted to! HA[/edit]

[Dennis]

Having noticed quite significant changes in a very short time on testosterone, I can see exactly what Jan means. It's not necessarily that you have to transition, but if, while you're young, you can delay the effects of testosterone on your body, you will have a heck of a lot less to undo if you do decide to transition. I am already, after 16 months on testosterone, at a point where I'd have to actually transition back were I decide that this was the wrong thing for me.

And, if you decide not to, you can always catch up later. I'm talking again about androgen suppressors, not HRT. If you decide that transition is not the right thing for you, testosterone will get you on the usual male development path.

So yes, I concur with Jan, if you tell your doctor that you need to put a pause on things while you work through the steps or think about things, then there may be a solution. But don't panic if you can't find it right away.

Dennis