dissapointed with therapist

[sarah.s]

so i came out to my doctor before christmas, she didnt seem to take me seriously but referred me to a therapist.

had the appointment back in January, was quite nervous and when i got in there was 2 women who were going to talk to me.

cut a long story short and we talked for about an hour and a half during this time they told me that they couldn't help me understand any confusions that i had and i was probably only feeling like this because i dont have a job and all i do all day is sit at home and dwell on my thoughts

i left feeling more confused and alone than when i went in and a little bit angry at them for not helping me.

since then i have talked more about it with me girlfriend and friends and i have got a job which i really like but i still feel the same, even more sure about who i am and what i want to do with the rest of my life

i really want to start hormones but know i have to go through the same therapists to get the letter and this is really getting me down. i live on a small island and these people are the only state run therapists.

[samanthawhalen]

DUMP THOSE THERAPISTS.  Hint, they don't have a clue what they are talking about.

If you have to, row a freaking boat to the coast (just kidding, sort of) just to get a REAL therapist.  The first thing you need to know about a therapist before wasting any time or money with them, is how experienced is s/he (I would go with a female therapist if you are MtF) with transgender issues.  Even better is to get a referral from another patient of the therapist. 

There are great therapists out there, and probably not real far from where you are.

AeronTG

[April221]

The customary practice in New York City, and elsewhere, is that a person will sit down with a (one) therapist for a 50 minute session, so your experience is a bit out of the ordinary.

There are therapists who specialize in trans gender care, and this is the kind of person that you need. Most therapists do not have the training, the sensitivity or the understanding to be of any help. You want someone who can work with you to help you to understand why you have the feelings that you have. Not all trans gender or gender variant people are TS. Most aren't. Not all people want or need to pursue HRT. You need to work with a trained professional to help, not hurt you. The wrong person, or the wrong kind of therapist, as you've found out, can do more harm than good.

[samanthawhalen]

Here in Kentucky, my therapist has 50 minute sessions.  I really like her.  I honestly was scared (before I met her) that she might say "you're not transgendered, you just have a lot of stress in your life", but all she has done is help me to understand my feelings and VALIDATE them.

Aeron

[Suzy]

My general rule is that I will not go to a therapist that I have to educate about my situation.  They are supposed to be the expert.  That's why they get paid!  Which, incidentally, is why I am waiting to see a new counselor.

Hang in there, Sarah, but find the right person to help.

Kristi

[samanthawhalen]

Excellent advise, Kristi! 

Aeron

[Alex]

The impression I'm getting generally is that if people have happy, productive, fulfilling lives they are more likely to receive treatment.  If you have a job, a hobby and a social life can that work in your favour when seeking treatment?  I can see why they'd prefer that.

[Berliegh]

My general rule is that I will not go to a therapist that I have to educate about my situation.  They are supposed to be the expert.  That's why they get paid!  Which, incidentally, is why I am waiting to see a new counselor.

Hang in there, Sarah, but find the right person to help.

Kristi

That is so very true Kristi. In the U.K we don't have therapists but we have psychiatrists and they know very little about their game. They get paid for doing absolutely nothing and are usually of no help whatsoever.  I just think we should fast forward to go and see a surgeon for the various proceedure's we need and in the U.K psychiatrists are only there to stall your transition as much as possible.....

[samanthawhalen]

My general rule is that I will not go to a therapist that I have to educate about my situation.  They are supposed to be the expert.  That's why they get paid!  Which, incidentally, is why I am waiting to see a new counselor.

Hang in there, Sarah, but find the right person to help.

Kristi

That is so very true Kristi. In the U.K we don't have therapists but we have psychiatrists and they know very little about their game. They get paid for doing absolutely nothing and are usually of no help whatsoever.  I just think we should fast forward to go and see a surgeon for the various proceedure's we need and in the U.K psychiatrists are only there to stall your transition as much as possible.....

Is that really true?  If so, that is interesting (and quite sad).  Were you being sarcastic, in the sense that transsexualism is a cash cow there in the UK?  Have they come right out and said something like "we need to get these weirdos working and their family life problems solved before they turn themselves into women"?

Aeron

[sarah.s]

thanx for the support, im thinking about going back and trying to convince them some more

berleigh; im in the uk too, jersey to be exact, its not the nhs but i think their attitudes are about the same, do u have any kind of advice for when i go back? like is there and standards of care set up?

and does anybody know about going private in the uk? how much roughly is it likely to cost and where do i go to find out more?

any help is greatly appreciated

sarah

[Berliegh]

My general rule is that I will not go to a therapist that I have to educate about my situation.  They are supposed to be the expert.  That's why they get paid!  Which, incidentally, is why I am waiting to see a new counselor.

Hang in there, Sarah, but find the right person to help.

Kristi

That is so very true Kristi. In the U.K we don't have therapists but we have psychiatrists and they know very little about their game. They get paid for doing absolutely nothing and are usually of no help whatsoever.  I just think we should fast forward to go and see a surgeon for the various proceedure's we need and in the U.K psychiatrists are only there to stall your transition as much as possible.....

Is that really true?  If so, that is interesting (and quite sad).  Were you being sarcastic, in the sense that transsexualism is a cash cow there in the UK?  Have they come right out and said something like "we need to get these weirdos working and their family life problems solved before they turn themselves into women"?

Aeron

absolutely true, and I wasn't being sarcastic.....see this thread, patients comments and petition to the U.K  govenment for more details:  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,21985.0.html

[samanthawhalen]

Berliegh, I am VERY SORRY to hear about your situation :*( Have you ever thought about  moving to the USA?  I don't know how much worse the USA is in aspects other than gender care, but at least that part of living here would be easier for you

Aeron

[Berliegh]

Berliegh, I am VERY SORRY to hear about your situation :*( Have you ever thought about  moving to the USA?  I don't know how much worse the USA is in aspects other than gender care, but at least that part of living here would be easier for you

Aeron

I was thinking of moving to Holland...