Passing... what are the most quintessential female traits?

[deviousxen]

Hmm Never even noticed girls had different facial expressions.

The only things I can think of is:

girls sway more when they walk (but always just chalked this up to body differences - the hips, butt, and thighs make them move differently - or so I assumed it was)

girls cross their legs when they sit

girls involuntarily mess with their hair and dont realize they're doing it. usually when they're in deep thought (this one I do, the others I don't)

I mess with my hair anyway. I'll pretty much mess around with anything I can find when I'm in thought or bored.

[Suzy]

Maybe that's just a hangup of mine, I dunno, as I've had a number of people tell me I need accept myself more and try to copy the women around me. But ya know, this IS me... and while I can deal with someone figuring out I was born male, I'd be totally humiliated if someone thought I was a "man acting like a woman."
~Kate~

I agree, Kate.  I don't think the idea here is to "act" like a woman.  However, girls in society grow up being socialized with these things.  We do have some catchup to do.  And when they are not there, people do notice.  For instance, I spent time in a country where all of the women never looked a man in the face, and only approached him on their knees.  I complained, but was told that this was how they were brought up in that culture, and to complain would be an insult to them because they could nor fathom acting differently.  No one had specifically taught them that, they just did it.  Those things did not seem feminine to me AT ALL, but did to them.  So I still think that all of these things are instilled into us by our surroundings. 

Kristi

[Case]

Ok... here are some more facial expressions... these are fun to try as you
read them... or maybe I'm just a dork

LOL I was doing that throughout the entire thread even before seeing you make that comment. Your not a dork, and if you are, I am right there with you!

This is a great thread. I am pleased that I do a lot of these things without thinking about it, however, I am learning some things that I need to work on (and just have never noticed). Thanks everyone!

[Just Mandy]

LOL I was doing that throughout the entire thread even before seeing you make that comment. Your not a dork, and if you are, I am right there with you!

Good to know that I'm not alone

I think for the most part women have very animated expressions whereas men may smile... sometimes... but that
is about all. At the very least a women will have a smile on her face even when relaxed.

Amanda

[gothique11]

One GG girlfriend of mine told me to just be myself that I was far more fem if I just was myself then if I tried to match another girls movements. 

Beni

Exactly! I'm very glad someone pointed this out. Although it's good to be observant, just being yourself and knowing who you are, it all comes out naturally without over thinking.

And besides, not all girls act and walk a like. And if you're a little boyish, it just makes you look more tomboy'ish or dyke like. And variance like that is sexy, looks natural (because it is), and is a part of your style.

The only people that have nagged me if I ever walked, sat, or talked like a guy is other trans people. 99% of people aren't looking and don't care (and if someone were to nag you, who cares, it's not like some stranger on the streets opinion/approval is essential to your happiness; they are less than a blink of the eye the the whole scheme of life). If you're in the range, it works.

Now, don't get me wrong, self improvement is a good thing and one may want to practice and learn, but also allow the natural movement that's inside you come out. Just don't over think it until it becomes something you're obsessed about -- you're becoming yourself, not some ideal image of woman... no, you are becoming the woman whom is yourself. Be yourself, and you'll be happy even if you don't walk the ideal.

--nat

[Just Mandy]

I get that... I've made a lot of these facial expressions for a long time so they are
part of me. Like I said in an earlier post... if they were not I'd feel very fake trying to
pull them off.

Amanda

[deviousxen]

See... This is another thing that seems to freak me right out...

I feel more comfortable with a more female body, yet still feel okay with some male mannerisms. I'd be a tomboy either way I think, which is kind of redundant and strange to wrap my head around.

I swear all the time, I sometimes smoke my dads pipe, my voice is somewhat deep, and et cetera. Thats just the tip I suppose...

I've been trying to build a secret collection of more fem clothes, to actually see overall in life, what I like. Its hard to find something I completely settle on. I have a feeling I'm gonna have many completely different kind of get-ups depending on how I'm feeling that day.

[Just Mandy]

I feel more comfortable with a more female body, yet still feel okay with some male mannerisms. I'd be a tomboy either way I think, which is kind of redundant and strange to wrap my head around.

I think you just need to get to a comfort level... what ever that is... make it work for you. If you end up with some
male mannerisms so be it, that will just be part of you.

Amanda

[deviousxen]

Well... I think it would be hard to pass with that unless my voice got a bit higher... Augh... I've worried about everything this week. I need sleeeeeeepppp.

[Just Mandy]

Augh... I've worried about everything this week.

Welcome to the club I think for me it's getting better... it's like I had
a bad period and then I just let it go... hopefully for good.

Amanda

[CassandraR]

See... This is another thing that seems to freak me right out...

I feel more comfortable with a more female body, yet still feel okay with some male mannerisms. I'd be a tomboy either way I think, which is kind of redundant and strange to wrap my head around.

I have been dealing with the whole tomboy problem myself and I think it is just something you need to work out yourself.  My identity contains many male traits, maybe more male traits than female ones but the female ones are the ones that truly define me as a person.

I think these feelings are fairly normal when you are just starting out then everyone settles into their own comfortable identity. The thing to remember is that it is good to explore your new identity as you create it. Try a little of everything, male or female and keep the things you like! Pressing on the boundaries will make you a better person, I believe. Just keep in mind that the whole gender role thing isn't as important as society would have you think, just relax!

[tinkerbell]

Someone, please mention the HUGE differences in table manners!

tink

[Just Mandy]

Someone, please mention the HUGE differences in table manners!

So true... and manners in general, please, thank you, etc

I've also noticed the last couple of days... hand movements... there is a huge difference
in hand/arm movements, GG's are very fluid and graceful... men are very jerky.

Amanda

[Rara]

The important issue here is to simply be you... Of course there are a number of gender specifics', i.e. hand, head, speech, posture, walk etc.... which tend to shape the differences between the sexes. Some of which have been hi-lighted here and rightly so, but these should not be taken as the definitive set of labels that identify one as 'being female'. There are many examples of women who do not display said characteristics, does this suggest these women are not female or feminine in nature. I think not... the point here is that they are being true to themselves. Therefore just be you, allow the natural feminine aspect of your gender and personality to shine through and whether or not you have some residual male traits, these will blend into the background.

Ra-ra. x

[louise000]

The important issue here is to simply be you... Of course there are a number of gender specifics', i.e. hand, head, speech, posture, walk etc.... which tend to shape the differences between the sexes. Some of which have been hi-lighted here and rightly so, but these should not be taken as the definitive set of labels that identify one as 'being female'. There are many examples of women who do not display said characteristics, does this suggest these women are not female or feminine in nature. I think not... the point here is that they are being true to themselves. Therefore just be you, allow the natural feminine aspect of your gender and personality to shine through and whether or not you have some residual male traits, these will blend into the background.

Ra-ra. x

I think alot depends on how old you are when you start transition, because no matter how female you think you are inside, the more years you've been acting male the more masculine traits and habits you have acquired on the outside. Therefore it is natural that you would want to try and get rid of these and acquire more feminine habits, even if this means consciously practising and copying the mannerisms and speech of those lucky enough to have been born female. This thread is an excellent source of reference!
Louise

[Berliegh]

Re: Passing... what are the most quintessential female traits?

Natural femininity....and the right physical build and shape to start with..

[krisalyx]

well i've pretty much got them nailed down hands legs walking well as much as i can at least.

[Northern Jane]

There is one and ONLY one ladies - ATTITUDE!

Every natural-born girl KNOWS she's a girl and that's all that matters, even if she is built like a linebacker and has a voice like a fog horn or rides a Harley and dresses in leathers and chains! She knows who and what she is and that's that! She isn't "passing" she is just BEING who she is and is not apologetic about it.

Only transsexuals worry about "passing" and that  gives off huge vibes of insecurity.

[Stephanie]

There is one and ONLY one ladies - ATTITUDE!

Every natural-born girl KNOWS she's a girl and that's all that matters, even if she is built like a linebacker and has a voice like a fog horn or rides a Harley and dresses in leathers and chains! She knows who and what she is and that's that! She isn't "passing" she is just BEING who she is and is not apologetic about it.

Only transsexuals worry about "passing" and that  gives off huge vibes of insecurity.

OMG that is so true!

However, if you are legally and anatomically female you don't need to worry about being accepted as female even if you are outside the physical female norms.  Imagine this scenario.  You are a tall or large genetic female in a public restroom and another woman suspicious of you alerts either the manager or the police.  Well as a legal woman you can easily provide proof that you are in fact a woman.  Even if it came to the worst situation,(and this is very unlikely) and you had to prove to a female officer your womanhood then there would be no problem.   Everyone involved yourself included would be highly embarrassed and apologetic,and if this hypothetical incident happened in a restaurant you would at the very least have dinner on the house!   
  I as a pre-op transsexual and therefore a non-legal female would find the above scenario horrifying, and it is the fear of discovery that strips a lot of my self-confidence.
  I think that we need to watch and imitate CGs because from our earliest days we had any gender inappropriate behaviour for our birth sex routinely suppressed by our parents and society.  So it is little wonder that our mannerisms and body language are not nearly as feminine as our minds.  I do think that Kate was right thought to remind us that we should not try and imitate certain feminine mannerisms were they are not appropriate to the individual like playing with your hair when it is short.
  I also think that hormones will help us develop and spontaneously display female mannerisms etc.  We tend to forget that oestrogen and progesterone have played a huge part in the development of a woman's mind. 

[icontact]

I often have conversations purely with a combination of mostly facial expressions with some gesturing and mouthing of words. Works just as well as talking, is more fun, and definitely easier to pull off in a situation when nobody will see you doing all of the above, but can hear you.