Thinking about taking female hormones but still presenting as male

[chrishoney]

I am a private practice PT so I answer only to my patients/clients and the bottom line. I don't think I can be too in your face about all this and still retain new patients and clients. The mild breast enlargement is still at the point that I can hide it pretty well, but not if they get much bigger. Essentially, I have a moderate case of glandular gynecomastia now, where I had none before. While I have seen a measurable difference in my breasts since starting PM (pueraria mirifica), it's taken quite a while and isn't all that impressive in the grand scheme of things, which is why PM would probably NOT be an acceptable alternative to HRT for a transitioning MtF. That, and there is no regulation of herbal supplements, so there is some risk involved (what ARE they putting in those capsules?!) But then, even with big-pharma meds you can't be 100% sure of what's in them either! However for me, the risks involved with PM are so much less than HRT (I work with brain injured folks all the time, and the risk of a thrombotic event  for a male my age is just too great), that it's a 'no brainer', except that I did do months of research on both.

I guess the changes I like the most involve the more psychological side of things (more even tempered, less angry, things like that), but especially the significant decrease/change in my typical male libido. It's such a relief not feeling like I "need" an orgasm every day. I can still function as a male in the bedroom, but now it's on my terms and when I decide to feel aroused, rather than at the mercy of feelings and 'needs' I didn't seem to be able to control.  I continue to work out and do yoga, and haven't seen any decrease in strength, stamina or energy so far, but then I do tend to push myself quite hard and might be making up for slight changes there with sheer determination. I seriously doubt anyone would notice any of the other changes I mentioned in my previous post, at this point. I have not experienced any voice changes, and everything I've read about HRT indicates that hormones don't affect the pitch or timbre of the voice. I couldn't begin to guess why that happened for tekrider, but one of the tenets of natural breast enlargement is that everyone is different, and what works in some way for one person, won't work or won't work in the same way for someone else. Even with HRT, there is no consistency of breast development; some get abundant growth, some get adequate growth, and some get almost none. Everyone is different and each of us will have a different response to the same drug or herb.

Hope this helps clarify my previous post.

Chrissy

[Cindy Stephens]

I would have no trouble believing that the psychological release from taking E can allow someone to let out their inner fem.  Perhaps allow them to change their inflections, word choices, etc.  But it isn't being caused by the E.  Trekrider inferred that a physical voice change was a "hidden problem" of taking it.  I don't believe it and  have seen no evidence of it either anecdotally or scientifically.  Some statements are just wrong, not YMMV or a simple difference of opinion. 

[Randi]

I have taken Estrogen off and on for the last two years and I present as male publicly or when others are at home. Only when I am alone do I present totally as female. The changes I have are subtle but real nonetheless. I now have A cup breasts and at times I do wear a bra under a jacket or thick sweater without attracting unwanted attention. When I work out it is uncomfortable not wearing a bra so I use one to avoid excessive bouncing. For now I am able to conceal them without any real effort but would be pleased if they get bigger. My butt, hips and thighs are slightly rounder than last year and none of my pants fit the same as they once did!

When I first started coming to terms with the GD, I wanted to be as feminine as I could possible be and still do sometimes. But I have reached a point in my life where feminine presentation is not as important to me as it once was. I recognize several factors blocking my forward progress (ie. work environment, fianances or the lack thereof,  family issues) that remain to be dealt with. I still use Estrogen for keeping the dysphoria at bay but at a much reduced doseage than I was on. While changes will occur they will be over a much longer time frame and I am good with that.  I once was in a hurry to see change but nowadays I don't think about it so much and I am much happier and pleasant to be around-or so I am told.

I am unaware of any new research that tells us Estrogen use will raise the pitch of a voice ravaged by testosterone poisoning. I am a singer and have not had any pitch change but would definately welcome it were it to occur. The more I learn the more I see there is to learn so I cannot say that Trekrider has not had some shrinking of the vocal cords and associated structures. It would definately be unusual if this were the case.

Getting back to the original question-I present as male and while I am presently content with where I am I do this only out of necessity as I still identify as mtf. Gender is such a 'fluid' concept always changing shape and consistency. Who is to say for me that won't change someday-I can't.

Randi

[james75]

As mentioned, hormones cause many changes, and you need to be prepared to deal with all of them. I took estrogen for a number of years, then tried to stop. Like many others, I didn't like being off estrogen. For me at least, it almost seems like I'm addicted to it. So after some time of being off it, I began taking it again. And still do. I had an unexpected result this time though. Although I had developed breasts while being on it the first time, this time my body seemed to have an even greater reaction to the estrogen. Possibly because I've also been taking a drug for a prostate problem. Whatever the reason, the breasts I still had from taking estrogen the first time began to start growing again, only faster and to a greater extent and in a more pointed shape. I'm still taking estrogen and still presenting and living as a male, but now I have large pointed breasts that I'm unable to hide, no matter what I wear. Being of average weight makes them even more obvious. I'm getting used to the looks I get, but this is one of many things you have to consider. It's commonly said that males who take estrogen are lucky to end up with more than b cup breasts, and you can get an idea of what your size will be by your nearest female relatives. Those two statements aren't always true. I'm proof of that.

[Alison-Rose]

I was on hormones for three months (with the full intention of transitioning via MTF surgery at a later date, but I won't get into why that didn't happen right now), which left me with a very generous amount of extra breast tissue I'd literally spent years trying to hide under loose clothing that quickly became something of my fashion trademark...

Now, as someone who has since found inner peace as a genderfluid person, I'm happy to emphasise what I've still got when presenting in full girl mode, though for a little further "gender->-bleeped-<-ing" my partner thinks it's great if I keep a little of her preferred rough side on show as well, including arm/leg hair plus my stereotypically English smile.

To conclude, I'd be a hypocrite to suggest there is a problem with changing your body to a more feminine one then attempting to continue passing as a male, since I did just this for over a third of my life and will keep doing so when I'm not challenging the binary system by expressing myself in a way that I've neglected for too long.

On the other hand, my job means that I will have to tone down certain aspects of this newly-freed identity, yet at the same time I can imagine colleagues may prove more understanding if I was to come out as looking to become a woman rather than subverting their rigid boundaries and expectations of how I look from one day to another.

P.S. I'm new here, and one thing you'll soon find about me is that I'll probably end up being the last person to swear online. Being a college-level literature student and aspiring professional writer, I firmly believe in defending the once fine art of not liberally using profanity. Besides, I happen to think that asterisk works great in this context!