I was thinking along similar lines as Chynna about that. I noticed you seem to lack a certain amount of confidence that most males project. Like your trepidation to stand up for yourself after being called ma'am, even though it upset you. I think this is largely a result of being raised as female.
I was out as female a few weeks ago and was buying a couple bottles of water at the fair and I'm not 100% certain, but I think the lady referred to me as "sir", even though I was obviously dressed as female. I didn't skip a beat though and went right on with what I was doing. I also didn't let this upset me, because I know compared to all the other people I have talked to, this represented an infinitsimally small percentage. If somebody does this, do something to put some doubt in their mind. I put on my best female voice and I was referred to as either gender after that. Later I was referred to as a lady, so that helped my spirits.
If you are having 10% or more people calling you sir, then you probably need to change something. Anything smaller is probably either impoliteness or a fluke. Unless you are an extemely ugly or masculine looking guy or an extremely beautiful and feminine woman, you probably won't pass 100% of the time regardless of who you are (TS or non-TS). Those extremes also represent a relatively small percentage of the population.
I think most people try and be courteous and even if they do "read" you. They generally witll try and call you by the gender you are presenting as. That's why the waiter in the restaurant switched to "guys". It's also why people who slip up apologize so profusely. There are always exceptions, but don't let that get you down.
Melissa
