It was mentioned that there are no "good news" therapy stories on Susan's.
So brief as this may be, here is mine.
So I was in my doctors office in my best skirt and top, wait to go in to discuss a very personal issue. In I go and sat in the Dr.'s office waiting patiently for her to arrive. In she comes and the look on her face was pretty priceless. She guest my personal problem
We discussed several things about my knowing that I was a "woman trapped in a mans body" (oh the cliche) so right off she told me that she wasn't experienced in these matters and that she would refer me to a therapist who was. She wouldn't prescribe HRT without therapy. My referral came in about three months later but to my dismay it was to CAMH in Toronto, the gender clinic, the ultimate gatekeepers. This was not what I wanted these guys play for keeps. You are required to fill in a multipage questionnaire and submit it to them for review. In a month or so they will get back to you, with a date for an appointment. At the appointment you first see a Dr who specializes in gender matters, for a full medical examination. Then you appear before a panel of three pshinks and face a barrage of questions from each, then that done you either go the next day for more questioning, or it's off home waiting for a diagnosis. These guys are good. Three to four months later you should get a reply from them with their findings.
This was not for me. It's not like I'm applying for a job as a woman and I must submit my application with my resume... So I declined the offer and started to seek another Dr. About a month later I found a Dr who was very interested in TS people and was planning a paper on them/us. She gladly took me on as her patient and while I expected to be on HRT soon afterwards, I was to be disappointed. The first thing she wanted to do was a complete work-up blood and stuff, to establish a base line, and correct any problems that came to light. Cholesterol jumped up and she wanted this under control first. Three months later and 55lbs lighter the blood tests came back all plusses and the script for HRT was given. Yay me.
So I was on HRT and I started the next step and that was contacting work to go full time and to contact the surgeons to find their requirements, guess what they all wanted a letter, in some cases two letters from a therapist stating that I was GID. Damn, now what. So I spoke with my Dr and she agreed to do some searching for me and within a week she put me in touch with a therapist in the "Personal Disorders dept. of Queens University Psychiatry, and my first therapy session was scheduled a week later.
Nothing much happened in the first session, more of a get to know each other session. I gave her my back ground and she gave me hers. She asked why I thought I needed therapy, and what I expected from her. I laid it out on the line that I was TS, and that I needed a diagnosis of GID to pursue surgery. She didn't seem surprised, and then I asked about a time frame, the number of sessions and a cost. The cost was really no problem as I can claim it all through health care. And as to the number of sessions she simply said that after a couple she should have a pretty good idea of where it was going to go.
So my second session we got down to business. Although I didn't really know what to expect I went in with an open mind and determined to tell all. The first question she asked me was "So why do you think you are TS" and it started. I did all the talking and she would interject with things like, "how did that make you feel", "why do you feel the need to do that", "does that make you feel uncomfortable". She didn't tell me anything, she drew everything out of me, I did so much talking that I became hoarse. An hour goes by very quickly and we scheduled the next session for the following month.
The next sessions went much the same way with me doing all the talking and she drawing out the details from me, all the time listening and taking notes. After the fourth session she agree with me that there was no doubt that I was GID. Right then and there she offered to terminate the sessions and write my diagnosis, but since I could not do anything until I had lived one year full time I decided to continue on a monthly basis and my last session was last month after 12 months, and 12 sessions when I got "The Letters".
It felt great to be able to talk to an adult about my problems without the ridicule, instead with someone who understood, with someone who would offer a solution, offer an idea, a thought, and to joke with, someone who you could comfortably talk about sex or a lack of etc.
Was my therapy worth it... yes it was. And it changed my mind on who knows who best, sometimes I don't listen to what I say, but she did.
Steph
