Sex change regret ?!

[Rachael]

something a lot of m2fs dont seem to notice is, NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE A WOMAN... female is not some higher level of existence.  its just one sex,....

if he was so confused and deluded to transition, his bad... the therapist >-bleeped-<ed up. Hes clearly a bloke, so let him be one, and live with his mistake, like a lot of people here, he probably used the old tricks of convincing the evil therapist by doing as he prepared to get diagnosed, not how he felt.
it happened before, it will happen again.
why do we care what some crybaby idiot says anyway?

R >

[Kate]

why do we care what some crybaby idiot says anyway?

Well, I guess the fear is that the anti-TS crowd will use stories like this to prove that "sex changes don't work," making it more difficult for those that follow to find the proper care.

But like you said, it's happened before, and it'll happen again. The emphasis should be on it showing how transition and SRS isn't for everyone, and not that the concept in *general* is flawed.

~Kate~

[NicholeW.]

... like a lot of people here, he probably used the old tricks of convincing the evil therapist by doing as he prepared to get diagnosed, not how he felt.

Like SOME people here, you appear to be intent on making someone else angry. Now, what's the good of that?

You are 'real.' I think we all get that, except for perhaps yourself.

Please keep your rocks in your hands, or on the ground, and don't hurl them at others. Each of us has to live with herself or himself, not anyone else, nor do we have anyone's life but our own to live.

Throwing stones at others doesn't make me better than them, more real than they are or any more a 'girl.'

Thanks, so much for taking care of that, Rach. 

Nichole

[gothique11]

What? SRS doesn't change my DNA? Damn!

--natalie  >

[Gracie Faise]

Just because he was so delusional as to believe it would make him genetically female does not mean the general trans community things the same way. I for one have never been under such an assumption.

He is just pissed off, and misery loves company, so he is trying to tear down everyone else.

[DeValInDisguise]

How accepted were the SOC when Heyer had his surgery?  I don't know the exact date of the surgery, but it was 1988 or earlier.  The SOC was less than a decade old at that point; was it not as widely known or used as it is today?  If not, then it wouldn't be as surprising that Heyer slipped through the cracks.  He even quotes his therapist on his website, saying dealing with drug/alcohol issues need to be dealt with before gender issues.

That being said, I think Heyer is displaying two attitudes that I see all too often.  "Not my fault" and "If it's bad for me, it's bad for everyone".  It's not *his* fault he had the surgery; it the therapist's fault.  And now he needs to protect us so the therapist's can't convince us to have SRS.

Val   

[Laura Eva B]

... like a lot of people here, he probably used the old tricks of convincing the evil therapist by doing as he prepared to get diagnosed, not how he felt.

Like SOME people here, you appear to be intent on making someone else angry. Now, what's the good of that?

You are 'real.' I think we all get that, except for perhaps yourself.

Please keep your rocks in your hands, or on the ground, and don't hurl them at others. Each of us has to live with herself or himself, not anyone else, nor do we have anyone's life but our own to live.

Throwing stones at others doesn't make me better than them, more real than they are or any more a 'girl.'

Thanks, so much for taking care of that, Rach. 

Nichole

Come on Nichole, Rachael made one of the best and most pertinent comments on this thread .... why diss her ?

Laura x

[NicholeW.]

Laura,

That was no diss. It was a friendly suggestion. No one says she cannot have opinions about others. Nor have I said that to you. But, discretion is sometimes better for board moderation. Please take the point.

And if one's self-concept and validation is intact she doesn't need to down another. She knows she's who she is, regardless.

Thanks,

N~

[Wendy Kahr]

Omg she was beautiful...what was the complaint???

She didn't like being on the bottom during sex. 

Seriously... The explaination is in the Video at:

Even though the interviewer tell Alan Finch that as Helen "You were an extrordinarily good looking woman", The voice over in the video says that she got married but "Neither of them could get past the fact that she used to be a man."

More details at the Boy Interrupted program transcript here: http://www.abc.net.au/austory/content/2003/s937472.htm

But here are what I would say are the main clues:

"Over the next several years I had a few relationships with men, but they were quite short-lived with the exception of one particular man that I met, and after a couple of years of being together ... I started to feel really guilty. And I said, "The way that you see me today is not how I've always been." And he said, "What do you mean?" And then I just said, "Well, I was actually born a boy." And he just looked at me and he just.. .he couldn't believe it at first. He was very compassionate, and then he just said, "My God, why did you do that to yourself?" He said, "You must have been really nice-looking," he said, "as a guy." .. But from that moment, the relationship changed. We then had separate bedrooms, but we continued living together. And he said that he loved me, and we would always be friends. Anatomically, I was never really a woman. ... It's just rearranging flesh, but the tissue that's used is still male tissue. I never was able to have any orgasm or sexual pleasure."

Reading up on Alan Finch's story (at http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/08/30/1062194756832.html), it seems he failed the psychological test the first time, then studied up on how to give the "right" answers, and assed the second time around and got SRS at 21.

In the video Alan Finch says the responsibility is the surgeon who cut into him... "At the end of the day the choice is with the man holding the scalpel." Not his for lying.

So here we have someone who by their own admission cannot be trusted to make the right decision for themselves, can't be trusted to tell the truth, and who blames others for his mistakes.

At the bottom of the "Boy Interrupted" story is the line: "Alan is about to undergo partial reconstruction surgery. He hopes to from a long-term relationship in the future."

Good luck with that, Alan...

[Gracie Faise]

Omg she was beautiful...what was the complaint???

She didn't like being on the bottom during sex. 

Seriously... The explaination is in the Video at:

Even though the interviewer tell Alan Finch that as Helen "You were an extrordinarily good looking woman", The voice over in the video says that she got married but "Neither of them could get past the fact that she used to be a man."

More details at the Boy Interrupted program transcript here: http://www.abc.net.au/austory/content/2003/s937472.htm

But here are what I would say are the main clues:

"Over the next several years I had a few relationships with men, but they were quite short-lived with the exception of one particular man that I met, and after a couple of years of being together ... I started to feel really guilty. And I said, "The way that you see me today is not how I've always been." And he said, "What do you mean?" And then I just said, "Well, I was actually born a boy." And he just looked at me and he just.. .he couldn't believe it at first. He was very compassionate, and then he just said, "My God, why did you do that to yourself?" He said, "You must have been really nice-looking," he said, "as a guy." .. But from that moment, the relationship changed. We then had separate bedrooms, but we continued living together. And he said that he loved me, and we would always be friends. Anatomically, I was never really a woman. ... It's just rearranging flesh, but the tissue that's used is still male tissue. I never was able to have any orgasm or sexual pleasure."

Reading up on Alan Finch's story (at http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/08/30/1062194756832.html), it seems he failed the psychological test the first time, then studied up on how to give the "right" answers, and assed the second time around and got SRS at 21.

In the video Alan Finch says the responsibility is the surgeon who cut into him... "At the end of the day the choice is with the man holding the scalpel." Not his for lying.

So here we have someone who by their own admission cannot be trusted to make the right decision for themselves, can't be trusted to tell the truth, and who blames others for his mistakes.

At the bottom of the "Boy Interrupted" story is the line: "Alan is about to undergo partial reconstruction surgery. He hopes to from a long-term relationship in the future."

Good luck with that, Alan...

He makes me feel bad about myself. I don't like it. I don't like being lied to and belittled.

Besides, it is not about what it literally is (rearranged flesh), it is about how it feels, both physically and emotionally.

[cindybc]

No, this goes much deeper, like in the depth of our very soul. It's much more then just rearranging the flesh on your body. It order to begin the process, or to kick start the outside of your body to start reshaping it, like feminise or masculinize it as closely as possible to the desired gender with the  aid of HRT. There is more than just physical changes as a result, I believe it goes to the depth of heart and soul itself. The final stage is to conform body with the *mind* with the aid of HRT. Followed sometime later by SRS, the final step that will make you as congruent or complete a female/male gender as medical science can acomplish. 

There seems to be one little crucial observation back 8 years ago when I began full time, and that there was a strong indication that it was in the TS's brain, the weiring was different. But it appears that today for some reason there is nothing they would wish more then to discount or discredit or sweep this information under the carpet, *It is all in the mind!!* The mind resides within the brain. We only use something like about 7% of the brain and as for another statistic which I am not certain if they haven't already swept that under the carpet yet either, and that is the theory that most TS's have an above average intelligence and IQ. I don't know, but it seems I have already observed this exhibited among the young-uns in this group.

I been a woman for 8 years now and I ain't about to go run and hide under a rock. I am who I am and as for other people they respond to me as the person I present. A woman. I do not have any regrets or do I have a guilty conscience. Once your there, there is no going back, just the thought of going back petrifies me with fear. Goodness gracious I can't understand how that..... person did it. *Don't lie to your therapist, tell him/her the truth always!!!

Ok, personally I think this man/woman is as fake as a three dollar bill. That's enough from me. Cindy picks up her soap box and runs into the bushes to hide under her rock.

Cindy

[Purple Pimp]

"It's just rearranging flesh, but the tissue that's used is still male tissue. I never was able to have any orgasm or sexual pleasure."

That's really kind of fascinating, the idea that our very skin is naturally gendered and will forever hold the truth of our binaried sex system.  I know it's really too much to hope for, but maybe one day people will be a bit better versed in biology.  Genital tissue is homologous between the "sexes," right?  Has my liberal education led me astray?  Please correct me if I'm wrong, but transsexual or not, the only physical difference I can think of between "male" and "female" genitals is their configuration, no?

Lia

[Hypatia]

The mind resides within the brain.

Exactly. This fact can't be stressed often enough. René Descartes is long dead, let his mind/body dichotomy die out too, finally. We've seen a lot of advances in brain science since his day, but people hold onto that habit of thinking... unthinkingly.

[cindybc]

Hi Genovais, congratulations and I will send prayers that all goes well for you in six days. Just be happy, and at peace with who you truly believe and feel you are. Sending you some warm and fuzzies.

I am at peace with who I am.

Cindy

[Purple Pimp]

Thanks, Cindy!  I'll try and keep up-to-date on the forums, I'm sure I'll be looking for ways to fill up my time while recuperating.

Lia

[lisagurl]

1% of 60,000 is 600 intense regretters in the U S and A.

With an average of 4 transgenders on any given Jerry-Springer-like show, that's about 150 Transsexual Regret! shows, or about 3 a week for a year, give or take...

Karen

Darn, the things I miss by not watching TV.... 

Z

It seems that passive TV watching is a way to destroy any thought of the things that you experience through out the day. All those loose ends of thought improve your intellect. Constant sound and visual fog true thinking and happiness. Good books provide food for thought.

[NicholeW.]

Good books provide food for thought.

You enjoy 'good books,' Lisa? How dya feel about the Bible? My daddy always called that "The good book."  >

[cindybc]

Hi Genovais  and Redfish just wanted to say congrats and I will send prayers that all will be well.

Cindy

[lisagurl]

Good books provide food for thought.

You enjoy 'good books,' Lisa? How dya feel about the Bible? My daddy always called that "The good book."  >

It is a historic metaphor. Then again most novels have an under story. The unabridged Latin texts could prove very interesting. The translations are only as good as the translator. There is something poetic about the original writings. It sure is better that the screen play.

[Hypatia]

The mind resides within the brain.

Oh no, why did you have to open this can of worms? ;p

The mind/body problem really still isn't solved, even after all this time.

It's solved as far as I'm concerned. No brain=no mind. Consciousness isn't all in the mind--it's all in the brain. More--throughout the wonderfully complex neural net of the whole body, in all its cellular interactions. In a sense it's the body as a whole where consciousness resides.
Are you a dualist then?
Can you show us that mind posited as an independent entity separate from the physical nervous system is anything more than prescientific mumbo jumbo?