It all matter of Respect

[CarolOzGirl]

Hi

In recent times I have encountered people I have know in my past life the majority I must say is good, bearing in mind that this is the first time they have met the new you.

What I find upsetting is not being called by your chosen name, called by your male name is bad enough but to be called nothing is just terrible, maybe I should have chosen a symbol.

To be respected for who you are is important, and to call you by your chosen name is respecting you,  I know the life we have is not easy so why do others seem to neglect the fact that we have a right to be happy.

Love

Caroline

[Kimberly]

I have a dear relative who is very reluctant to call me Kimberly... or pretty much anything else, mostly for fear of insulting me.

So, I suggest when they are quiet, consider that it may be just as hard for them...

[Annie Social]

I've had just the opposite happen with one friend; every time we talk or email, he throws my name in 5 or 6 times! It's as if he's reminding himself, sort of practicing so he doesn't screw up.

It can be annoying at times, but I know he's doing it for the right reasons and much prefer it to the opposite situation. It's actually become sort of funny; every time we talk I silently keep count.

Annie

[stephanie_craxford]

Hey there Carol.

My name has been changed for about a year now, and there are some who still slip up from time to time.  There worst part is that they slip up and use my old name in front of someone else.  It is a bit of a pain but don't loose sleep over it.  Yes it's annoying but give them time, eventually they will come round.

One trick you may try is not to answer them when they call you by your old name.  Another is, if you are looking at each other and they use the wrong name, simply shrug your shoulders and say to them "Who are you talking to?", or something similar.  It's worked for me.

Steph

[Robyn]

The name has rarely been a problem for me, although some of my coworkers will get tongue tied when talking about old stories.  Last time it was, "Remember that meeting in San Diego in 1987 when Bob, er... back when there was a Bob..."

Pronouns have always seemed more of a problem for old friends.  Pronouns may stick longer than names. 

Since I've been back in VA working full time (I'm supposed to be retired), I notice that even the guys I've worked with for well over 20 years, open doors for me.  Remarkably, they still ask my advice and listen.

Eventually, it takes.

Robyn

[Dennis]

My mother has said "my son the lawyer" and "she" in the same sentence. Pronouns do seem to be the hardest for people. Plus my name abbreviates to Den and people seem fine with that.

Dennis