I am a woman

[NickSister]

It has been quite a journey these last few weeks. All the pieces of the puzzle have seemingly fallen into place.

I first came to the realisation that I wanted and need a female body some weeks ago - and it was a great relief.

I then got some inkling that I was hiding from myself. The whole body thing was one big layer of self deception that I stripped away and I saw that maybe I have layers of such deceptions. I started to walkthrough my childhood, looking my thoughts and feelings at that time, and my behaviour. I saw things there that said a lot to me. I remembered some of my untainted desires that have always been there but have gotten better at hiding over time. Nero's post was really timely and forced me to really ask myself some hard questions. At that time things were so close, it was there for the taking. To top it off I have been talking to a new gay friend - comparing our childhoods, which also forced me to evaluate what was different as they sounded really similar.

And just now it clicked. I am a woman. I still feel tentative about this as we live in a world of seeming changeability but it feels right. It also feels terrible at the same time, like dysphoria x1000. I have to be me, I have to, but I need to be patient. I'm not about to jump into anything as there is a possibility that this is a false realisation, filling my need for answers. But it feels so true. I let you know how it goes from now.

Anyway I wanted to share this with you all. I've learnt an awful lot from coming here, and I think you have all been instrumental in my internal search for answers. Thank you for being here.

[Just Mandy]

And just now it clicked. I am a woman. I still feel tentative about this as we live in a world of seeming changeability but it feels right. It also feels terrible at the same time, like dysphoria x1000. I have to be me, I have to, but I need to be patient. I'm not about to jump into anything as there is a possibility that this is a false realization, filling my need for answers. But it feels so true. I let you know how it goes from now.

Didn't you feel so good when you realized that... and more so when you admiited it to yourself?

It was like euphoria... I can still feel it today.

Amanda

[NickSister]

Didn't you feel so good when you realized that... and more so when you admiited it to yourself?

It was like euphoria... I can still feel it today.

Amanda

I think I am still processing it all. I feel full of Adrenalin. It feels like being hugged by myself, both in consolation and congratulation just to feel that I am finaly real. It is the booby prize I wanted all along.

[Casey]

I'm not about to jump into anything as there is a possibility that this is a false realisation, filling my need for answers. But it feels so true. I let you know how it goes from now.

It's always a good idea to take things slowly at times like this, whether you're positive about being a woman or not. But here's hoping you've finally found your identity. It really does feel great to be able to say "this is what I am".

Keep us updated. And remember, we'll always have a chair for you here no matter what you are.

[RebeccaFog]

Hi

   It's good to see you feeling positive about it.  It will be interesting to see where you go with it.  I had a period of time when I felt the same, but for some reason pulled back.  I'm not saying that's going to happen to you, but it means that I understand you wanting to feel it out a while before committing.
   If you do become Nikki, you're going to have one hell of a time.  Some of the happiest people I see are the TS's who reach one goal after another.


Rebis

[Shana A]

Congrats Nick/ki!

It's truly wonderful to make inroads in understanding who we are, whatever that might be. And as mentioned above, you're always welcome here too.

Zythyra