What a question, how long can the answer be, my Mom was a differcult and domineering woman, I loved her very much, but she was unhappy and had her demons, its sad Amanda, my story was very similar to yours, unloved after when I was born, but it all changed when I came out at 16, then I really only learned the truth, I often wonder was that, made me the way I am, so complicated things can be, I had my problems and my Mom had hers, but both our situations changed and both suited the other.
I learned years later, when my Mom married my Dad she wanted a daughter, she had the first son, then the 2nd, then the 3rd, then me last, still no daughter as far as she could see.
She use to have terrible mood swings, my Dad would disappear, my brothers and I would keep out of her way, I was different to my brothers, but was really only close to my next brother.
One day changed everything, I was depressed with my own situation, Mom lost her temper and shouted at me, what the hell is wrong, thats when I shouted back, I feel Im a girl, that day changed everything, I posted about it before in another thread.
My Mom's reaction surprised everybody, I think it was the first time we saw Mom happy, then Mom and Dad had a discussion about it all.
Then we had this family meeting to agree on my transition, I think my Dad and brothers agreed becaused it made Mom so happy, she was saying good rid to a son she never wanted and was getting a daughter she always wanted.
My next brother was slow to except it, but my Mom was like a different person, she was very in control and involved in my transition.
I use to be close to my brother, but lost some of that, after he moved out, the room we shared for so many years was completely transformed into a girls room, it was as if Mom wanted to make the most of lost years and have a pretty daughter.
She was a lot easy to live with after that, but still very domineering, I had my own ideas on the sort of girl I wanted to be, Mom had her own ideas and wanted me to be very much a girly girl, we fought a lot over that, somethings you have to do if you want things to change.
I remember little things Mom would buy, like toothbushes, or hairbushes, my brothers would never get confused becaused they where pink and girly, Mom changed completely and the rest of the family where happy, one day my brother came into my room, he looked round my room at all the pink and girly stuff and asked me if this is what I really wanted, I said yes, we never discussed it again, in resent years we finally get on well as brother and sister.
Mom was the boss, she was not a woman to cross, but when I became her daughter, we became good friends.
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