Susan's Place Logo

News:

Based on internal web log processing I show 3,417,511 Users made 5,324,115 Visits Accounting for 199,729,420 pageviews and 8.954.49 TB of data transfer for 2017, all on a little over $2,000 per month.

Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! (Updated)

Main Menu

Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?

Started by Just Mandy, May 15, 2008, 02:36:48 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Just Mandy

Wow... the caffeine LOL...

OK... another question for you all...
But first a lead up....
I get SO excited when I have small successes...
When I loose an inch in my waist...
Or I see Amanda in the mirror more and more...
Or I get called Ms at the Mc Donalds drive up without trying...
Or when my bra is too tight...
And the first thing I want to do is share with someone...
And I come here to susans...
I come to see my friends...
And I share some of them...
But I don't a lot of times...
Because I don't want anyone to think I'm gloating...
Or that I think I'm prettier...
Or that I think I'm ->-bleeped-<--er...
Because that's not ME at all...
I never seek the spotlight...
I'm the girl in the corner...
I would NEVER dream of posting anything for that reason...
All I want to do is share a small success...
It feels good...
It makes me happy...
No matter how small it is...
It's one small step at a time...
We all know that...
And I know others have told me the same thing...
Their intent is pure like mine...
But they hesitate to post things as well...
But I want to hear about others success too...
I want to hear when you pass...
I want to hear about your weight loss...
I want to hear about your bra shopping trips...
I want to hear yours more than mine...
But it goes further than that...
Much further than want really...
It's need...
I need to hear of your success...
Because that gives me hope...
And that's what this is all about...
Hope that we can make it...
Hope we can be "that" girl...
Hope that we can finally be ourselves...

Is it bad to want to share those successes?

Should we hesitate?

Can we ever feel good about sharing?

Amanda

Something sleeps deep within us
hidden and growing until we awaken as ourselves.
  •  

Nero

Of course you should! While I didn't get excited about girl milestones growing up (obviously), I remember hearing the girls go on about in school, about developing and clothes, and getting noticed, etc.
Think you girls are just late bloomers.  :)
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
  •  

Rachael

go you amanda....

too many here use those things as justification to slap people down when they want to share happyness...

if i had a good photograph and posted it, id do that because i was proud of how i looked. Not because i wanted to put someone else down.

maybe those who try so hard to be offended, or see the worst in others, and make excuses to kick up a fuss should grow some self esteem.
R >:D
  •  

rozenmaiden

i know what u mean about
being called 'miss'. i'll never
forget that first time when
a complete stranger called
me that. sure it was not a
big deal to most people, but
it meant the world to me.

regardless how big or small
the accomplishments may be,
i think it is healthy to share
our success. finally getting
over the hump is a good
thing. we're all in this
together. :-*
  •  

Nero

Quote from: Rachael on May 15, 2008, 02:42:12 PM
go you amanda....

too many here use those things as justification to slap people down when they want to share happyness...

if i had a good photograph and posted it, id do that because i was proud of how i looked. Not because i wanted to put someone else down.

maybe those who try so hard to be offended, or see the worst in others, and make excuses to kick up a fuss should grow some self esteem.
R >:D

yep and there are always girls who'll be jealous and talk ->-bleeped-<- whether you're in high school or beyond.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
  •  

gina

Yes without a doubt....thats what makes a support forum. Its a two way street..the good as well as the bad. :icon_yes:
  •  

Moira Midnigh

I, for my part, don't make a lot of huge steps...

But I do feel like sharing if something good happened today and...often! Just because I get so lifted when I hear about the successes of other's, I want to share mine too.

But I don't want to make a new thread every time, so maybe we should make a thread dedicated to small victories?

I'll share one here.

Tuesday, I was distracted, my mind was elsewhere, as I noticed when was dancing with a friend of mine (we go to salsa regularly. I dance as male, obviously, but we have tried to switch. She's rubbish at leading, and it doesn't help her that I'm taller either) so I went to the window to take a breather (and oh my gawd, it was hot too) and she comes over after a little while, just when I had figured out what was taking up so much of my mind.

So I say no, I'm just...really...really...can't think of what to wear to pick up my friend from Finland Saturday.

And she goes all = / and says, that's what girls think about!

And then she went on about how I would look good in anything and all, but I didn't really hear much after the first part there ^^


~Moi
  •  

Alyssa M.

Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 15, 2008, 02:36:48 PM
I need to hear of your success...
Because that gives me hope...
And that's what this is all about...
Hope that we can make it...
Hope we can be "that" girl...
Hope that we can finally be ourselves...

Um ... yes. That pretty much says it. :)
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

   - Anatole France
  •  

soldierjane

Not at all Amanda, I feel that if you want to share something with the forum you should and forget about what people might think. That's how friendships are made, right? Being PC and distant defeats the purpose of actually connecting with someone.
  •  

NicholeW.

Why shouldn't you, or anyone else share their milestones and their happinesses?

I would also suggest that we all try to remember that different people are in different stages of transition around here.

Some are just starting, others have been living as themselves for years, others about to get GRS/GCS/SRS (whatever) and others are long post-op: not everyone is going to see a major success when someone has one. We either haven't gotten there yet or had that particular success years ago.

That not everyone is going to be excited for me when I write about being "ma'am-ed" "miss-ed" or "hey, woman-ed" :laugh: or when I find a boyfriend, girlfriend, start hormones, have GRS, get FFS, go to a large rally for LBGT, or enter or graduate college, do a drag show, or fly in a hot-air balloon seems reasonable enough.

Not everyone is going to be interested and some of the folks here have done many of those things long before many of us had even admitted to ourselves who and what we are.

Diff'rent strokes.

I see posters get upset because no one replies to their posts, or everyone replies to their posts, or not enough or too many people reply to their posts. *sigh*

Sometimes it's just hard to balance everything. ;)

I'll be honest, Amanda, some of your threads I absolutely love and find incredibly insightful, timely and just plain good. Others, I just cannot summon a reason to reply to. And I know people feel that way about mine, Nero's Cindy's, Tink's .... whomever.

It all washes out over time.

How many times do we see an old thread that managed to have two posts after the OP get resucitated months, sometimes even years, later because someone ran across it and replied and then the thread just takes off?

For every negative comment you've ever received here, I would bet you've had 25 or 100 positive ones. Right? :)

I know though, sometimes that one negative can gain a weight that the thirty positive ones cannot seem to balance.

Hugs,

Nichole
  •  

Eva Marie

Amanda - post away! I always find your threads interesting. A good thing/happening/event is something to be excited about and to share.
  •  

Just Mandy

Sorry...
I post like this...
Well...
Random thoughts I guess...
Otherwise it turns into one big quagmire...
Thank you Nero...
We are late bloomers...
But I guess that is to be expected...
Do we like to be noticed? ....
Of course we do...
We are girls...
Rachael my dear...
You are such a sweet girl...
You play with guns...
But that is OK...
More than OK really...
I think that's cool...
You have GREAT photographs...
I'm always happy to see them...
But you should share more...
You are so pretty...
Rozenmaiden you are SO right...
We ARE all in this together...
Stronger together...
Weak alone...
Nero you're right too...
Girls will be girls...
But we should be happy for each other...
Not tear each other down...
Gina...
A bright star...
Support... Absolutely...
Yes... that is what we are here for...
Moi... You are such a girl...
Thinking of what to wear...
I do that too...
And then I change...
But that's OK...
It's our right no? ...
I would have stopped listening too...
Good for you...
And yes... one thread is fine...
Something wonderful today...
Was that the purpose?....
I don't know...
Alyssa the climber...
Thank you...
I would gladly climb with you...
Climbing makes you feel alive...
Because you are so close to death...
I've been there...
Jane...
I hope thats correct...
You're right of course...
And I will...
We should not be distant...
That was how we were before...
And that never worked...
And Nichole...
O great one...
A wise word is never wasted...
And you waste few...
A point made excellent...
We are all at different places...
I'm sure me losing an inch is ho-hum...
I do get that...
And I don't care if people respond to my posts...
I LOVE that they do...
But writing them is enough...
And some of them...
It helps more than I can tell you...
And no responses...
No one should be upset...
You see...
I read a lot of posts...
No...
I read EVERY post....
But I don't add something just becuase...
I have to have something...
Something of value to add...
Otherwise I'm just talking...
And you are right Nichole...
The negatives are few...
But those are the ones that pierce...
That you carry...
Long after they are said...
You are kind Nichole...
Thanks for being here...
And everyone else too...
Thank you...
Riven... thank you...
I'll try not to bore you...
I'll keep it interesting...
Thank you Crécerelle...
There are no little people here...
Not at all...
We are all equals...

But here's the real story...
The reason I posted...
You see...
ICQ is a wonderful thing...
But it is anonymous...
And that is good...
And that is bad...
And someone rang me up...
And said some things...
Not happy things...
It's OK really...
I'm a big girl...
I think...
But it made me think...
Should I post anything? ...
Or everything? ...
Ever again? ...
Should I run?...
I wanted to...
I am fragile...
And things hurt...
I'm feeling my way along...
It's a dark tunnel...
But I know I can make it...
As long as I'm here...

And I read this thread...
And it made me feel better...
So I stay...
Maybe they were jealous...
Or hurt...
Or just bad people...
But I chose to ignore their harsh words...
And I chose everything...
I will share it all...
And please remember...
I don't post here for any reason...
Other than I need you all...
I need to hear your success...
I need you to hear mine...
Not as my ICQ friend said...
Because I'm prettier...
Or because I'm skinnier...
Or I love my wife more...
Or I make more friends...
No...
I post here...
Because it helps...

Amanda

Something sleeps deep within us
hidden and growing until we awaken as ourselves.
  •  

MeghanAndrews

Hi Amanda,
I don't post as much in the forums, I know, but I just wanted to tell you that I love your posts, you already know that though. I guess this kind of goes along with Nero's post (I think it was Nero, the 'are you straight up with peeps on here' post), do you consider posting things and then change your mind.

Yes, I do that all the time. Actually, this morning I posted two replies in the forums to threads that kind of got me in a mood, then I didn't post them. Lol, one of them I posted and then I deleted. Why? Because I don't feel like rocking the boat more than it already is. I mean really, so many people, they are who they are, they won't change. That's just the way it is. There are sooo many different personalities on here.

It's like a friend of mine says, so many trans people think that they should be friends with every other trans person or at least try to be when in reality, you would NEVER EVER be friends with them in real life. Maybe they just aren't the type of person you get along with, maybe they just don't get along with you, etc. The truth of the matter is that for most of us, the trans-experience is what we have in common. It isn't much else in the beginning. We come here under the guise of taking part in a community that has people going through similar things we are going through.

Many of us start here, grow here and ultimately mature like butterflies and maybe spend less time here or leave altogether. We take friendships with us and we leave behind those that we wouldn't have been friends with anyway. It's the natural cycle of a relationship I think. We attach ourselves to people we view as having a similar experience as us, then time will determine whether a friendship blossoms or fades away.

Amanda, I consider you a friend. Your posts always make me think. Although I don't reply to them all the time, they always make me think. I like that. I like hearing about your successes. I think you should revel in them, it's your life and we're here for you. Keep smiling, Meghan :)
  •  

soldierjane

Amanda honey, it's not a crime to be happy. Everyone is happier and more sad than someone else, I think maybe your friend needs to start looking at how they can improve their own situation and rise, not pull you down.

*hugs*
  •  

Just Mandy

Thanks Jane, Meghan...
I've got to run...
I'll respond to you later...
But I wanted to add one thing...
It occurred to me...
I'm not looking for sympathy...
That was not what this was about...
I just wanted to share...
Maybe we can share our bad things too...

Amanda

Something sleeps deep within us
hidden and growing until we awaken as ourselves.
  •  

deviousxen

My brain needs to let pressure out, even good pressure. So trust me. The day I have good stuff happen in contrast to this grey-organic paste called Connecticut, you'll be the first to hear it from me. I'm actually often afraid of overconfidence and a good mood, cause over doing it always makes me mess up somehow... Or fate just remembers I'm there, and flicks me over again.
  •  

Lori

Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 15, 2008, 06:08:11 PM
Thanks Jane, Meghan...
I've got to run...
I'll respond to you later...
But I wanted to add one thing...
It occurred to me...
I'm not looking for sympathy...
That was not what this was about...
I just wanted to share...
Maybe we can share our bad things too...

Amanda

I hope you didn't go to explode somewhere. Are you sure its just caffeine?? LOL, I'm out of breath reading your posts. I love your posts, and a few others here as well. I hope you always share no matter how stupid and trivial it may seem to you. I have to say that there have been some recent posts that just totally blew me  away and I feel like I actually belong for a change. Simple little things that I think about, do , have said, discussed or thought about have been brought up and I think its awesome.
"In my world, everybody is a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!"


If the shoe fits, buy it in every color.
  •  

lacitychick21

Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 15, 2008, 06:08:11 PM
Thanks Jane, Meghan...
I've got to run...
I'll respond to you later...
But I wanted to add one thing...
It occurred to me...
I'm not looking for sympathy...
That was not what this was about...
I just wanted to share...
Maybe we can share our bad things too...

Amanda

I think you have very good reason to feel the way you do. There's an impression, a mood of sorts, that seems to linger on TS forums but it may be something we're being hypersensitive to... something that may not really be there.

I'll admit, I totally know where you're coming from. When I transitioned into full-time I felt as if those little successes may come off as gloating on the forums, but I think I got that impression because, by and large, we all tend to feel the compulsion to post when something REALLY bothers us. So this 'ranting,' if you will, sort of perpetuates itself. It's almost as if I didn't want to post because "so and so" just came out to an unaccepting family, or "so and so" was 'sir'ed' again. I felt bad, almost guilty, for having these successes because the last thing I wanted to do is to make anybody feel worse.

But you know, if we don't post those successes, we're doing each other a disservice. You're right Amanda... I think it can give us all hope even if one or two people do accuse you of "gloating." You know you're not. If your "gloating" helps just one member's light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel seem just a little brighter...than dangit... I say gloat!

Thank you Amanda for bring up a wonderful point. I hope everyone shares ALL their successes from now on.  I know I will do my best to.
  •  

gina

Amanda, I'm new but the little time I been here I find your post very interesting and from the soul... :) I'm very similar in many ways, so I'm sure there will be alot to share, . I do have to say I see a great bunch of people on this forum, and it makes being new alot easier to handle....So I say post and they will reply.... ;)

gina
  •  

mickiejr1815

i would also like to say Amanda, that i thoroughly enjoy your posts as well. i love reading about everyone's successes, especially from the guys. i know it's even tougher for some of them i think. but when they get sirred i know exactly how they feel. any success is amazing...and i'm glad to read about it
will modify this later......
  •