Are you proud of being transsexual? Are you still trans after transitioning?

[cindybc]

Hi JENNIFER and that is the way one should feel. I can't describe the feeling I get just being who I am and working with others in the capacity of an empathic woman and that is what I am.

I consider myself to have been given the privilege of living one life within 2 genders

Hun that is because we are, as the natives called it in ancient days, two spirited. That was a great honor and believed to be *big magic* and would earn you the position of being a Shaman which even the chief went into counsel with this two spirited person before making a decision. The men also went into council with their wives before going to the final council which was very much a patriarchy. 

Cindy

[findingreason]

Are you proud of being transsexual?

"Transsexual" is a label. A label is a limitation. Just like OCD, ADHD, ADD, and all the others. Sure, I'm obsessive-compulsive, but does that mean I have OCD? No, that's just part of my personality. I don't count myself transsexual, it just doesn't sound right, I'm simply me, with no labels attached. Technically I may be called "transsexual" by other people, but really I'm just another person, only with an uncommon..... predicament. Labels should be abolished, they're only, in my view, another form of discrimination. Everybody is different, yet everybody is created equal; we're all human beings. That's what we all have in common. It's hard to find in myself sometimes (or a lot of the time), but I'm not "proud" of being transsexual, but I should be proud to be ME.

Also, with regards to other people knowing my status, I would be open about it if asked, and if they don't like me or accept me, then they weren't somebody worth knowing. The ones that stay and accept your past are the ones that really count.

After you fully transition, are you still transsexual?

Medically, that could be said, because biologically I would still be male. But, I don't believe a person is "transsexual" after they transition, simply because they are the gender they should be living as. Just the same as I think that no one is "transsexual" before they transition, it's just they were born in the wrong gender, that's all. TS men, or TS women, should simply be referred to men and women, I think.

I apologize if this post offends anybody, just speaking my opinion  .

[cindybc]

Not at all,  Findingreason hon. I agree with you but I believe You will find that each individual will have a different response or interpretation on transsexuality, depending on the depth of their own knowledge of *The Harry Benjamin Syndrome*. I don't think that our present knowledge of HBS is going to change much more until new studies come up with some new discoveries on this disorder.

Until such a time comes I don't believe much will change as far as any further advancements which could change how the system processes our present definition of a transsexuals.

Cindy

[findingreason]

Until such a time comes I don't believe much will change as far as any further advancements which could change how the system processes our present definition of a transsexuals.

Cindy

Hopefully Zucker and Blanchard will be dismissed from the updating of the DSM in 2012, as they obviously won't be helping further "advancements" in the definition of transsexuals. I also am on pins and needles with the DSM, as I am still figuring out if transition will be right for me or not, and I don't have any clue as to how long it will take me to "figure" it out.

[Laura Eva B]

Are you proud of being transsexual?

After you fully transition, are you still transsexual?

Short answer .... anything, way, way but proud !

Want to hide the fact that I wasn't a "born woman" from everyone I meet, but its such a "block" ....

I have this huge need to be accepted as a woman, NOT as a transsexual woman, and on days when my self-esteem is low it messes me in a big way as I feel "my past" is visible to everyone I see.

Like I meet guys, get dates, and they don't know .... but I'm terrified that they might find out, and how I would cope with it even if they were accepting .... as I need to be accepted (& loved ?) as a woman not a "transsexual".

For sure I've fully transitioned (4 years now, 2 years post-op) and still in the back of my mind always, the knowledge that "I'm different", "I have a ts history" never seems to go away .... I wonder if it ever will, even given 10 years, 20 years .... is it different maybe for younger transitioners like Claire ?

Laura x

[cindybc]

Hi Findingreason, hmmmmmmm, Zucker and Blanchard, I feel sorry the most for the kids because I believe that is who they are zeroing on first at this time. I think they're too preoccupied getting this presentation of brainwashing TS persons program set to worry much about those that have already been diagnosed with HBS. Well, one could always pray that they get abducted by aliens on some lonely streach of deserted country road somewhere. "Hee, hee!"

All jokes aside, I really am not sure if Zucker's practice will remain local to the province of Ontario or if his practice will spread out. As for here in the province of BC, where I have begun working with a TS support group and drop-in, it appears to be business as usual.

Zucker and Blanchard might be more of a problem for newbies who have not yet begun transitioning and seek to be diagnosed. I'm not certain as to how much damage these two stooges will create, but I wish I did know more.

I know it's not good and the best we can hope for is that they will self-destroy from malpractice. Anyway, Wing Walker and I have been doing some research and putting together a letter to protest the presence of Zucker and Blanchard in the revision of DSM-IV to DSM-V.

Cindy

[Janet_Girl]

Are you proud of being transsexual?

After you fully transition, are you still transsexual?

Want to hide the fact that I wasn't a "born woman" from everyone I meet, but its such a "block" ....

I have this huge need to be accepted as a woman, NOT as a transsexual woman, and on days when my self-esteem is low it messes me in a big way as I feel "my past" is visible to everyone I see.

Like I meet guys, get dates, and they don't know .... but I'm terrified that they might find out, and how I would cope with it even if they were accepting .... as I need to be accepted (& loved ?) as a woman not a "transsexual".

First: No.  I was born with a conditional that is no one else business but mine.  It is the same as my back which is a birth defect.  And maybe that is all being TS is to me.  A birth defect.  I need to learn to accept the fact and make changes accordingly.  I totally agree Laura. 

I find it very sad that society judges me like they judge any group that they don't agree with or accept.  Damn it I am not a freak, a pervert or someone to be scorned and no one or no community deserves that. 

I too wish to hide and that is what I'm dealing with now.  I just wish to be treated as the woman I am.

It is funny that to I was feeling sexy and beautiful even tho I was in 'boy' mode.  but that was shattered by my post of "Bad Day in Joy Land.  Tonight I am just a miserable morning woman with swollen eyes.

Second: No, because I wasn't one to begin with.

Every time I read an thought provoking posting I get closer to full time.  I am learning to ignore the societal views of who I am.  I have been miserable being who I thought society thought I was.   

I love all of my Sisters and Brothers for their views and wisdom.

Thank You & ,
Janet

[pretty pauline]

Its a strange kind of question, no disrespect,   ''Are you proud of being transsexual? Are you still trans after transitioning?'' But its like asking are you proud of being very ill or whatever, no Im not proud only proud Im now cured.
Yes my Gender Identity Disorder, or Gender Dysphoric or birth defect or being transexual, I went through very painful SRS surgery and FFS surgery, breast augmentation twice, went through all that surgery to be ''cured'' maybe thats the wrong word, anyway I'd like to think now Im finally cured, Im now the woman I always was, inside and now outside. Im not looked on as a freak anymore but excepted as a woman and thats the nicest part.
Only yesterday got stuck on the side of the road with a flat wheel, dam it and it was raining heavy, I'd say I was only there 5mins when a trucker pulled in, not only did he offer to change the wheel but insisted I sit in the car so as not to get my outfit wet, I was a little embarrassed, but he said ''no need, he'd never pass a lady in need'' yes Im proud I'v got this far, but only proud Im now finally ''cured''
p

[cindybc]

Hi Pretty Pauline, nice to see you again. Well I never had a trucker stop to help me change a flat, not even a tobacco chewing biker with missing teeth. "Hee, heee," by now you should know I'm just joshin. Well hunny since we first met about a year ago now, what I remember most that stuck in my mind was the fascinating story you told us about your transitioning experiences with the support of your family, that is a rarity you know, about as rare as finding precious jewels in the most highly unlikely place one would find such jewels.

Well as for being trans on the one job, I work at a local woman's shelter, where I am only known as Cindy. My other place of work that I have just undertook, running a support group and drop in for trans people. On this job I am merely a teacher that happens to have the experience of Harry Benjamin Syndrome.

Recently I started to think of a way to help my M to F Sisters to better integrate into their new gender in a well-established world that is full of customs and preconceived notions about the genders.  I am thinking of how to start and conduct a school of sorts to offer information and help with being more comfortable as women.  I can see the school addressing the social graces, how to buy and wear clothing and accessories, social interactions with other women and other items as they come to mind.  Maybe a speech therapist can be contracted for a modest fee. As I said, this is all still in the dream phase.

Cindy

Old Hippies never die they only smell that way. 

[pretty pauline]

Thank you Cindy for your kind words, yes I was lucky I surpose with my family support but as I said they had their own reasons, I don't want to seem ungrateful.
Maybe in the wrong thread here, but just reading about Beni's recovery, so little pain, maybe SRS surgery has come a long way, I remember my Mom telling me at the time Id have very little pain after the surgery, but it turned out I'd a lot of pain, I remember crying with the pain, but my brothers and Dad supported me thru it, then Mom telling me afterwards it was necessary if I was to be a real girl, surgery was necessary but not the pain, painkillers did help, and my Dad and brothers tieing pink balloons and ribbons to my bed, ''our special princess girl'' that got me thru it, but why do some girls have so little pain.
Keep up your good work Cindy, I love your quote on hippies LOL!
P

[tekla]

Old Hippies never die they only smell that way

Eight years with the Dead on the crew, and 20 before that as part of the crowd tells me that a bath with soap will change so many things.

[cindianna_jones]

Are you proud of being transsexual?

No. I'm proud of who I am and my accomplishments now.  I don't like the label.  It has always carried a connotation that I do not wish to discuss.

After you fully transition, are you still transsexual?

Not any more than I am a natal female.  But if you ask a few people in my family, you might get some interesting answers.....

- self centered transsexual
- lying transsexual
- dishonest transsexual

You see, they can't come out and condemn me for being a transsexual any more... as they used to. It is now not cool to do so, even in their fundamentalist world.  Instead, they now must demean me with additional adjectives.

Just call my a Cindi.  I'm fine with that.

Cindi

[tinkerbell]

I view my transsexualism as a birth defect.  What defines who I am is not the fact that I was born with a body and mind incongruency but my gender identity (female).  Am I proud of it? I am proud of the fact that my condition has made me understand the world a little bit better and as a result I'm a stronger person now; I am proud of the fact that I'm a survivor, BUT I am not proud of the fact that I was born with it.

Are you still trans after transitioning? Like Steph said on one of her ever famous quotes:

The word "trans" simply indicates that they are in the process of transition, therefore would be included in the term "Men" or "Women".  The words "Post" and "Pre" simply indicate how far along they are in transition and has no bearing on their status as women or men.
Steph

I completely agree with her quote and pretty much it is how I feel as well.

tink

[KarenLyn]

Are you proud of being transsexual?


After you fully transition, are you still transsexual?

No and again No. For reasons others have put much more eloquently than I could.

Karen Lyn

[cindybc]

Hi Pretty Pauline your not kiddin about the pain, we all got through that I believe and it just depends how fast the healing takes place after the surgery. But, yea, I know one of the girls here at the trans meetings in Vancouver who was, up and about, in two weeks after surgery, grrrrrrr I almost feel like I could throw a brick at them but me don't do that.

I'm a peaceful person and where ever any one is disturbing that peace and happens in my space, well I am usually quite capable to handle what ever disturbance come my way. I have the gift to gab and many a times my attitude and character comes in handy and I am quite capable diffuse situations that other wise may have got quite ugly, so when ever I can do a good job of being the mediator I do it. I have a chat board where in the beginning it suffered from to much aggression. Now it runs well enough that I don't even feel the need to check on them every day, and I don't have any moderators.

Anyway hon I believe that there were a good many here that suffered more then just a couple of weeks, if that makes any difference. I believe that if there is any type of pain greater then SRS I would have to say it would be something in the range of child birth and and new moms also go through various periods of pain until they heal.

Cindy