More Differences between TS & CD/TV

[Sandi]

While I understand your concerns this thread is being continued at the request of members, and so far there is no evidence that it is being harmful or divisive, and I haven't seen evidence of fighting either.

Quite right. Alot of what I have seen so far in this thread is fears that we might fall into the pit of divisivness. But as long as we respect each other and different views—even if we don't agree with them—we need not be afraid to discuss our differences.

I wonder if there are differences that cause some to feel threatened just by the discussion? Just remember to take it as anothers point of view and not personally. It is through discussing our differences that we really get to know each other better. And if you can't tollerate the discussion here, how will you ever handle such discussions with friends and family, not to mention others in society?

Besides I know that the forum Administrators won't brook misbehavior. 

[Louise]

Deb, it is good to see that you are back.  I hope your fortunes improve.

I know that we have been over this CD-TS thing any number of times.  I don't think any of us are going to convert others to a particular way of thinking.  As a CD I do feel a certain sense of solidarity with my TS friends.  While no one can presume to know what it is like to be someone else or to feel precisely what someone else feels, we do have some common emotions and experiences.  One thing that we probably share is the experience that physiological sex is not the same as gender.  It is one thing to acknowledge this fact intellectually, but it is another to feel it existentially.  To some degree or another I think this is one thing that unites all members of this community.  Although we are all individuals and resist being put into categories, we are all here for a similar reason--we need to be with others who are like ourselves.

As far as the issue of whether being CD is a matter of choice or not, it is important to distinguish between actions and underlying feelings.  We do not choose our feelings--they are the result of our physiology and our experiences--but we do choose our actions.  That I feel a need to wear women's clothing is not a matter of choice for me; that I act on this feeling is a matter of choice.  I would suppose that a TS could say that the fact she feels like a woman (or a man) is not a matter of choice; that she acts on this by taking hormones or undergoing surgery is a matter of choice.  If gender is a matter of how we feel about ourselves rather than how we act, then none of us chooses our gender. 

[michelle]

I think most of this difference stems from the fact that we all grew up alone in our transgenderness or what ever you wish to call it.   We have not grown up in a community that accepts us for whom we are.   We did not have other children like us to play with,  to grow with.   Our self identity was planted and in the being of the other gender and it took hold first.   We are all like flowers in a wonderfully large garden trying to bloom with each others help.   Each one of us is trying to find out what kind of flower that we are: some may be strong tall redwoods and some of us the pretty little daisies in the meadow.

Bye