Thanks for the replies. Veerle brought up a great point. I always thought that the fact I haven't had a healthy relationship with anyone -- not even my parents or my sister -- was a good reason. Yet, even so, there is such doubt that I need to think about this more. Hell, I'm still just not sure this is me. I want to believe that me being a loner and depressed were partially derived from this. But, in reality, my life has always been a big screwup.
A bit of info about me. I'm a very mellow type of personality. I'm not assertive at all, I'm extremely introverted, and pretty open-minded. I started to have my first major bout of this when I was seventeen. At that time, I did do a little dress up in my sis's clothing. I thought I was just experimenting, but this side of me just keeps on coming back worse and worse. So, as I've gotten older, I've realized more and more something isn't right here. Essentially, I adore the idea of being a girl, and I consider all females far luckier than me. In my latest episode or whatever, I have contemplated suicide. Essentially, I go through times when I'm okay -- just a little weird. And then, there are times when I feel severe regret and maybe anger. Because this is something that strikes me only sometimes, I'm wondering if I'm just weird. Or, maybe, I have a problem. Now as a kid, I wasn't that manly. I did experiment with wearing my cousin's undies. I was a book nerd or computer geek. I always had my head in a history book or I was on the computer playing civilization II. I had a rich imagination as a kid. But, I wasn't extremely feminine in my actions. So, as you can read, I might not even be suffering from this. I just don't know.
Of course, my childhood is more of a blur than anything else. I know I probably sound like a fake, but I'm just being honest as far as I know.
