When I told my straight, almost-but-not-quite-boyfriend...

[GregEvan]

He was totally cool with it. He was more concerned that I wouldn't be interested in him anymore than the fact that he had a relationship with a closeted transman.

Granted, the fact that he equated being a man to being into girls wasn't cool, still. He reacted loads better than I thought he would.

Now I just have to tell my parents. -_-

[Elwood]

That's good news. I'm worried that as a transman I'll have trouble dating. But people say I'm wrong, and that they don't care that I don't have a penis. They think love is more important than just sex... I've had straight, cisgendered girls tell me this.

Good luck to you, sir!

[tekla]

They think love is more important than just sex... I've had straight, cisgendered girls tell me this.

But good luck finding straight cisgendered guys saying that.  Unless they are trying to talk you into bed.  Get real.

[Elwood]

They think love is more important than just sex... I've had straight, cisgendered girls tell me this.

But good luck finding straight cisgendered guys saying that.  Unless they are trying to talk you into bed.  Get real.

Which really isn't relevant to me. Because I won't be dating straight men.

But I realize gay men can be even MORE demanding in bed. I don't have a penis so that could be a horrible problem. Sorry if this is too much information, but I don't want to always be catching him in my butt. So I'd have to find a guy who is okay with a strap on. I know that some girls don't mind strap ons, but I also know that a lot of them would probably feel like they were "missing out" on something. I also know a lot of women value having children, and I can't give that to them.

So yeah. I don't need to get real because I know how straight men work. They may SAY that but they sure as hell don't mean it. I don't have to have a penis to know that I prefer sex to love myself as well, which isn't a nice masculine stereotype to live or perpetuate but that's my personality. Love is impractical, in short, and I don't think anyone would ever love someone who is as callous as I am.

[tekla]

I've lived in SF most of my life, out as a TG, and been in lots of gay bars.  Whatever you can say about straight men, goes almost triple in the gay lifestyle.  Sure many settle down.  But not in their twenties, as a general rule.

[Elwood]

I really don't need that information, since I won't be clubbing any time soon. I've come to accept that I will probably die single because I don't want to live such a vigorous, unstable lifestyle. Gays and trans attract the crazies because so many gay and trans people have been so abused and neglected their whole lives that they DO have other issues. I'm not going to partake in "romance by swinging," finding my partner by ->-bleeped-<-ing people. I'd rather be alone.

Sex sounds great. But with my body? It just isn't going to work. So I accept I will probably die a virgin too. But no one really has to waltz in here and rub that in. Guys not being romantic? Just about a given. So I realize that I will probably be emotionally drained and die at a young age from the stress, too. Not uncommon for people like us. Then again, I have talent and charisma (in person; on the internet I come off as a callous ->-bleeped-<-) and that has attracted many people who I've had to turn down for numerous reasons. So it's not like I'm ugly or undesirable. But my sex is not going to be in my vagina and I don't have a penis to put in someone so that makes things a little complicated, doesn't it?

[tekla]

so many gay and trans people have been so abused and neglected their whole lives that they DO have other issues

I don't buy it.  As a normal statistical variation the numbers of abused straight and gay people would have to be about the same across the line.  Same with trans persons.  Abuse could lead in any number of behavior changes, so that to pick up on this, is not the result of abuse, abuse is only one path to it.  Lots of people in here have been abused.  Lots were not.  I'm sure the numbers are close to the general numbers.

[Elwood]

Everyone in their life faces abuse. Not everyone faces abuse based on their very personal identity or sexual preference. That's the difference.

You love the Devil's Advocate, don't you? Just an observation; I say this by no means of attack.

[tekla]

I was trained by Jesuits as advocatus diabolim (they thought I would be a lawyer, turned out to teach college, close).  But a bad argument is a bad argument, no more or less.

[NicholeW.]

Goddess!!

How's this for advocatus diabolim? 

You two are like peas in a pod. Right down to alternately adorable/charming and exasperrating/annoying.

Is Elwood your son, tekla?!    >   

Nichole

[Shana A]

Goddess!!

How's this for advocatus diabolim? 

You two are like peas in a pod. Right down to alternately adorable/charming and exasperrating/annoying.

Is Elwood your son, tekla?!    >   

Nichole

LOL... singing "we are fa-mi-ly"  (in a Chicago blues style of course)

Z

[tekla]

Perhaps.  My oldest one is alternately adorable/charming and exasperrating/annoying pretty much like me.  He dates girls with huge tattoos and opera singers.  The younger one is the president of his frat, never misses a UoO home game, majors in business, dates a cheerleader - we think he was a changeling left by fairies.

[NicholeW.]

... The younger one is the president of his frat, never misses a UoO home game, majors in business, dates a cheerleader - we think he was a changeling left by fairies.

Perhaps he was left when Elwood was spirited-away.

[Elwood]

I LOL'D.