What is androgyne romance like?

[const]

Okay, I know this may be another odd question, but seriously, what is romance between two androgynous people like? I don't care if they are both male, both female, or male and female, I just want to get an idea. Essentially, I want to know what a date between two equally balanced people is like.

I'm sorry if this is a sensitive issue. I don't mean it to be that way. I haven't done any checking; so, if this is already been posted, I'll take this topic down.

[Nero]

Good question.

[tekla]

All things being equal, there would be far more chances for people to 'color outside the lines' as it were.  However, all things are never equal. 

Relationships between people are hard, and there is no easy path.

[Lokaeign]

I've only ever had r'ships with non-androgynes.  Just finding someone is a huge deal, let alone finding another 3rd-type person.  One big problem I have had in the past is that binary peeps react oddly to my androgyny; some het male-identified people used to get really, really weirded out by me.  Like I'm makng them question their sexuality just by existing, you know.

[NickSister]

Awkward?

My question is would they be equally balanced and what is meant by that? I guess there would be no rules as to what behaviour to expect. If someone is an androgyne does it mean they are free from expectations of a partner of a certain sex? Like would some androgynes expect their male bodied partner to change the light bulbs? It might be one will mix and match until the right balance is found (kind of like some lesbian relationships)

Dunno - I imagine both would slip into certain roles as they find comfortable - like one might open doors for the other while the other squashes the bugs.

Actually, perhaps we should look to homosexual romance as and analogue. This is essentially what the romance would be between like gendered individuals. It might be you get a clash of interest like where both want to be on top.

Going by my own stereotypes I imagine it would be tender, sweet, awkward, lots of apologetic behavior, giggling, plenty of blushing, a romance of great affection and little tender gestures. One will galantly open the door while the other will give their jacket to their partner if it is cold. Perhaps there would be some head butting and negotiation going on. If there were two Pica's going out I imagine they would share a massive meal, including beer, then cuddle up in their matching pink jamies and tell each other how pretty their sideburns are.

End of the day it is probably an individual thing.

[Jaimey]

I wish I could answer this...

I think it would be nice because (theoretically) the two would think similarly.  But I've never dated an androgyne person, so I can't say...   Jaimey needs to date more...*sigh*

[Nero]

If there were two Pica's going out I imagine they would share a massive meal, including beer, then cuddle up in their matching pink jamies and tell each other how pretty their sideburns are.

I don't think more than one Pica could fit on this planet. And the thought of two Pica's together scares me beyond belief.

[NickSister]

I don't think more than one Pica could fit on this planet. And the thought of two Pica's together scares me beyond belief.

I know, delicious isn't it? Gives me shivers.

[Nero]

I don't think more than one Pica could fit on this planet. And the thought of two Pica's together scares me beyond belief.

I know, delicious isn't it? Gives me shivers.

I think another unicorn is wandering too near the castle.  But yes, the mere thought makes me think it's time to change my boxers.

[Kinkly]

I Don't know but I'd love to know and I'd Love To find a female bodied androgyne It would mean a lot more understanding between us and would not feel like I needed to defend my confusion.
also being both / neither male/female
makes for confusion am I straight male/ Lesbian / asexual? maybe I'll post something in the sexuality area

[Jaycie]

I wish I could answer this...

I think it would be nice because (theoretically) the two would think similarly.  But I've never dated an androgyne person, so I can't say...   Jaimey needs to date more...*sigh*

Well,  i think i can give it a shot, as both of my partners and myself far under a 'non-binary' heading of sorts.  I'd have to sadly report that any idealism can easily be put by the wayside. Just because you might hold a similar identity doesn't mean you're similar people in the least. Sure,  there's some things you can relate to better but in the end it's no different than any other relationship that's open and honest.

"Androgyne" doesn't make a person special or better or more capable than any other human being,  they're still human and subject to the same foibles at anybody else.

[sd]

Well,  i think i can give it a shot, as both of my partners and myself far under a 'non-binary' heading of sorts.  I'd have to sadly report that any idealism can easily be put by the wayside. Just because you might hold a similar identity doesn't mean you're similar people in the least. Sure,  there's some things you can relate to better but in the end it's no different than any other relationship that's open and honest.

"Androgyne" doesn't make a person special or better or more capable than any other human being,  they're still human and subject to the same foibles at anybody else.

I would imagine it as such.
You would be more likely to clash on personalities than anything else, just as any other relationship.

[Seshatneferw]

Um, what does a binary-gendered romance feel like? I seriously don't know what the difference would be, or if there would be any gender-related difference. My guess is that any such difference would easily be masked by individual variation.

Actually, perhaps we should look to homosexual romance as and analogue. This is essentially what the romance would be between like gendered individuals. It might be you get a clash of interest like where both want to be on top.

I guess so, gender-wise. I've never thought of ours that way, although we used to make the occasional joke about my wife being the man of the family even before my gender issues surfaced. From my perspective she's just about as androgynous as I, except for the pesky gender identity thing, but on the whole our marriage doesn't feel like a gay one, mostly because it's straight in the sexual sense. As for the clash of interests, in our case it's more likely to come up at times when we're both tired enough to want the other one to make the decisions. A race to the bottom, if you will.

But no, I can't tell what it's like, except that it feels normal to me.  But then, I've never dated anyone close to either extreme of the gender scale.

  Nfr

[Shana A]

My partner isn't androgyne or have transgender history as I do, however sie isn't exactly a gender binary person either. It's nice that we both have similar views on the subject. As others have said though, a relationship isn't only about gender, so other issues have to be dealt with.

Zythyra

[Kendall]

My relationship has sorta drifted apart the last 6 months. We are no longer intimate. I guess I am not in a position to give any answer to your question. I once read on another site someone say that only androgynes can be with androgynes. I think thats a theory rather than a fact. Who knows. Maybe thats my problem with my relationship now, and that they are right.

[Jaimey]

I wish I could answer this...

I think it would be nice because (theoretically) the two would think similarly.  But I've never dated an androgyne person, so I can't say...   Jaimey needs to date more...*sigh*

Well,  i think i can give it a shot, as both of my partners and myself far under a 'non-binary' heading of sorts.  I'd have to sadly report that any idealism can easily be put by the wayside. Just because you might hold a similar identity doesn't mean you're similar people in the least. Sure,  there's some things you can relate to better but in the end it's no different than any other relationship that's open and honest.

"Androgyne" doesn't make a person special or better or more capable than any other human being,  they're still human and subject to the same foibles at anybody else.

As far as similar thinking, I have a theory that nonbinary people experience the world differently than other people and have similar thinking patterns...not similar personalities.  I meant more of a similarity in brain function...or something like that.  More scientific than subjective.  We communicate differently and experience the world differently.  I also think we view others differently.     I just think it's easier for us to relate to one another.  Perhaps, anyway...

...I didn't explain it well...

[tekla]

Sexual response and release has nothing to do with either science or function, its just a biology deal, which exists on a very wide ranging scale.

[Jaycie]

As far as similar thinking, I have a theory that nonbinary people experience the world differently than other people and have similar thinking patterns...not similar personalities.  I meant more of a similarity in brain function...or something like that.  More scientific than subjective.  We communicate differently and experience the world differently.  I also think we view others differently.     I just think it's easier for us to relate to one another.  Perhaps, anyway...

...I didn't explain it well...

I'm fairly sure this'll sound a bit off, though i personally think that it applies. The entire pseudo-elitism of imagining that an identity grouping imparts some uniqueness is a fairly flawed concept in my opinion. The usage of the royal 'we' is also a pet peeve of mine when it includes those who will very much disagree with what's being asserted.

It's my own belief that people.....are people, most quite different from each other. They communicate differently,  and think differently, and experience the world differently from each other.

Now, replace the term people in that statement with any grouping you'd like and i have a pretty good feeling that it will hold true. I can understand the sort of idealism that causes one to believe that some group contains nothing but people that are like themselves and that they can relate to each and every one of them. But sadly,  that isn't quite how reality works.

I think that once more 'androgynes' realize this and that this isn't a nice playland where everybody is the same, the sooner it can move outside of a unicorn ( or mythical ) status.

[Caroline]

Now, replace the term people in that statement with any grouping you'd like and i have a pretty good feeling that it will hold true. I can understand the sort of idealism that causes one to believe that some group contains nothing but people that are like themselves and that they can relate to each and every one of them. But sadly,  that isn't quite how reality works.

I think that once more 'androgynes' realize this and that this isn't a nice playland where everybody is the same, the sooner it can move outside of a unicorn ( or mythical ) status.

QFT

Unfortunately when people start doing this in an open forum it becomes a self-perpetuating thing.  The androgyne section has been around for quite a while now, people will skim through this forum before signing up and may well decide that as they don't fit the stereotypical behaviour that is labelled as 'androgyne behaviour' by the posters here that they're not androgyne, or that this isn't the place for them.  People who do fit the above are far more likely to join up and add to the ranks.  Result: far from getting an open and diverse group and being able to draw any real conclusions, you get a clique.  Appearances can be deceptive, and to those who don't fit, damaging.  Ironically this is the same crap that androgynes here have had to endure from some of the binary transsexuals on this forum...

[Shana A]

Now, replace the term people in that statement with any grouping you'd like and i have a pretty good feeling that it will hold true. I can understand the sort of idealism that causes one to believe that some group contains nothing but people that are like themselves and that they can relate to each and every one of them. But sadly,  that isn't quite how reality works.

I think that once more 'androgynes' realize this and that this isn't a nice playland where everybody is the same, the sooner it can move outside of a unicorn ( or mythical ) status.

QFT

Unfortunately when people start doing this in an open forum it becomes a self-perpetuating thing.  The androgyne section has been around for quite a while now, people will skim through this forum before signing up and may well decide that as they don't fit the stereotypical behaviour that is labelled as 'androgyne behaviour' by the posters here that they're not androgyne, or that this isn't the place for them.  People who do fit the above are far more likely to join up and add to the ranks.  Result: far from getting an open and diverse group and being able to draw any real conclusions, you get a clique.  Appearances can be deceptive, and to those who don't fit, damaging.  Ironically this is the same crap that androgynes here have had to endure from some of the binary transsexuals on this forum...

Thanks Andra and JC

I agree totally, there isn't one way to be androgyne, genderqueer, neutrois, bigender, third, neither, etc. Let's endeavor to be truly open so that we don't lose potential members who don't feel like anyone else here and so that we're truly supportive of all within the androgyne umbrella. The last thing our tiny minority needs is more marginalization. We get enough of that from the rest of the world.

Zythyra