Told my sister...plzzzz help

[Anisha]

Recently , i wrote a letter to my sister to tell her abt my crossdressing.I used  to dress up in frnt of her but she tht it was for fun.So I wrote her a letter tht it is not fun  i want to be treated like a girl and we could be like 2 sister.I told her tht i wanted to be a girl frm childhood.I told her tht i even tht of suicide.
          She told me she was verry happy since i told her.She told her this will always be a secret between us.But she told try and not to crossdress anymore and try to control my urge otherwise slowly i would need sex changeand will  not accepted by the society as it is not widespread in India.she started to cry and told if i dont put effort on my career it will be difficult.She told tht i am dad only hope is me to help him in business.
          She told me try and not to crossdress and not to think abt this.I am trying abt this but could not control this.She told she would talk to her phyco teacher after a week.But i cant control my feelings for a week.
          How to convince her to treat me like her sister?
          Both of us are in standard 12 and she is elder than me by 2yrs

[Angel_Arietta]

It's hard.. sometimes, it takes alot for your family to understand. I told my sisters that, and one has fully accepted me as her sister, but it takes time sometimes to really get that connection.

You just have to, as a first step, don't give in. You have to be true to yourself, that's the number one thing. You have to be happy with who you are. Then, if it's really serious, and you really have reached a point where you don't care about the circumstances, make sure she knows it. Tell her. It's more important to you then anything else.

I hope some or any of that helps you. Be strong.

[Mari]

Living in conservative, close-minded country in the Balkans, I can perfectly relate to what you're saying. In fact I am also in the process of telling people close to me about my eventual transition and it sin't easy. But there are not many options: people can either except or reject you. But the problems allways arise when those close to you, Who you just can't let go reject you. Than you are facing a difficult choice. Live up to their expectations or to yours. Depending on your age and financial situation things can really get messy.
My advice, or at least what I am trying to do with people close to me is to educate them as musch as possible about what transsexualism really is. If they want, they will probably understand that comments like: try to ignore, or try to suppress, or don't do it... are just pointless. I want to emphasise if they want because you can't make someone do something unless they want to. Some people, of certain age, religious beliefs, ethnicity, country of origin have really srongly built in system of belief that can't be affected no matter how strong your argument may seem to be.
Anyway, good luck and I really hope you get best out of it...
Take care

[Lisbeth]

Anisha, I know how difficult this is for you, living in India.  Being your father's hope for the future makes your choices doubly difficult.  I guess what I am wondering is where your heart lies in the transgender spectrum.  I do not know if you can be satisfied with only crossdressing or whether you want to be a girl all the time.  Tell us what you know, and explore your feelings here until you do know what you want out of life.

A question I do not know is whether your mother is still alive, and if she is, when it comes time for you to marry would she support you in finding a wife who would be supportive of you in your gender variance.  Or would you rather not marry at all and live the life of a hijrah?  I know such a life would be difficult for you, as you would lose much respect in your community, but would you perhaps be happier as yourself even with the problems that go with that?

[cindybc]

Hi Anisha I do what ever I can with what knowledge I have accumulated on my journey but I would need to have the answers that Lisbeth asked before I can go any further. But I am not going anywhere I am around on this board through most of the day. Do you feel the need to be a girl, not just want? That's the main question.

As for loosing family because of this need is quite possible, unfortunately I did. But what I lost in family I more then made up in friends, and that appears to be the trend most times for a good many of us TS. Actually it is rarely that we have family members, that means aunts uncles moms dads kids grand kids will rarely be around to suport us.

I just finished reading a members post where her grand children understand and are with her and that brought tears to my eyes. Maybe I'm just a sentimental old fart. Anyway I be here for what it's worth.

Cindy

[Anisha]

I most of the time like crossdressing without going any further........Sometimes i think of becoming a transexual..........BUt acc. to me im happy with crossdressing and perhaps take hormones to block testesterone but i donot want to have a SRS............

Overall im satisfied with being a crossdresser......

[cindybc]

Hi again Anisha, I believe then that puts you under the banner of transgender. now that is a bit of a grey area for me but I believe there are those Identify as transgender  can go on HRT and not have the surgery. Not certain about that it's just what I gathered reading posts pretty well in all the threads at one time or another. Anyhow I believe you would still need to see a therapist to get on HRT. OK hon?

Cindy

[Shana A]

Anisha,

It's especially hardest with our families. It can take them a while to come to terms with it and accept it since they've known us since childhood.

Zythyra

[Anisha]

I want to write another letter to my sister.She is perhaps thinking me a transsexual........What shall i write to her to convince her to allow me to crossdress......and that there is no point in trying to control  the urge.......