george(my ex lover who does not know my status) called me today

[deniz]

he was upset.he wants me back no matter what.i am this close  to telling him tonight about me.i wish i will find the courage

[NicholeW.]

Please be careful with your psysical safety and your emotional safety, Deniz. All the best regardless what you decide or are able to do.



Nichole

[JENNIFER]

I agree, if he likes you enough, and by the sounds of it he does, then he should be mature enough to handle whatever you throw at him. Failing that, who is the biggest loser?   We do not know at what level of intimacy you were at therefore my comments are tempered but if he has any suspicion already then the full realisation may not be the shock that may end it for all time...

[tekla]

In the States we say "Discretion is the better part of valor."  Be Prudent.

[buttercup]

Best of luck Deniz.  A love like that doesn't come around that often. 

[deniz]

it is 7 o clock in the morning and i am alive.:)it is a good start. the bad thing is that i was not crystal honest.hint after hint,fight after fight, i could not say the 3 words.i am transexual.
we had a fight about me being ashamed of him(that is what he thinks as the reason for not letting him meet my parents)
about sex.he told me noone will wait for you as i do
about moving together.
and then i said.
George,have you ever thought there is a good reason and explanation for all these.And since you find out, you will hate me
he  said 'i could never hate you.i can not live without you'
what if i told you a big lie trying to be with you.
he said''i would forgive you since you would have told it for a good reason, to be with me:)
i laughed and i told him
If you ever find out sth bad about me, making you feel deceived, just think of that
I TRIED TO TELL YOU.I TRIED TO BE HONEST. BUT I COULD NOT
he was pazzled a little.lost in translation:) and just gave me a warm kiss and a long hug.

[NicholeW.]

That you are alive is very pleasing, Deniz.  It would be very nice to have that dinner together some day. 

It sounds like you made some progress toward eventually telling him. And although you did not, being able to make an attempt, even if you couldn't is a good thing. A bit like transition itself, you take a step. Each step is important and should not be looked at as if it were a failure because you didn't go the entire way.

Get some rest, my friend. You done well and you will get where you wish to go, one step as you can take it.



Nichole

[Wing Walker]

Hello, Deniz.  Are you still well and safe?

Wing Walker

[deniz]

 i am happy,well and safe so far.thank you for your conscern:)although our last talk with george, he just called  and told me he loves me so much:)
so maybe he can handle things better than i believed.
there were so many hints:)don ;t you agree?

[Sheila]

I don't think I would tell him. Unless, I was in a solid relationship. I think that things could backfire on you. I would have let him know upfront at the beginning but you have let too much water go under the bridge and it could be really dangerous for you. To tell him, for the reasoning of getting rid of him is a mistake and to tell for the reason why you are the way you are with him is another mistake. If you get back together and are dating then tell. I could be wrong and don't go by what I have said as this is my opinion. I don't date and I am not up with all the protocal on dating in todays society. Just be careful on what you do.

[Tanya1]

hey deniz.. It'd been a long time since of heard about this but y dont u show him a video, movie or some show bout TS women and start to ask him questions?

Tbh I think he may view u as diff but may also accept u.


Coming out ain't east n coming out to a freakin guy is next to impossible

[deniz]

Tanya, maybe you haven;t read my first posts where i had mentioned how i realised he is ts hater
1)nip-tuck (american series) season 2. one of the characters (ava) was transexual(very beautiful).It was revealed at the last episode.George says.Is she a ->-bleeped-<-got???oh my god,Plastic surgery is so deceitful.This gay people will all freak us out.Holy ->-bleeped-<-.(these were his words)-
2)A transexual girl was on the steet waiting for clients.my george his best friend and her girlfriend in the car.And the guys were so rude to the girl.Typical greek ts/anti gay behaviour.You would thing that they wanted to show their manhood to their chicks in the back sit.But still i felt awful

These are good hints.And although there is a contradiction to his general wonderful behaviour, i still can;t take these two nights off my mind.

[Tanya1]

^ does he know where u live?


I suggest u make sure he doesnt know where u live n then tell him over email or phone.

But tbh I really am unsure what I'd do in ur shoes. He could possibly get violent but on the other hand he may not, he may dump u or just accept. There r a million thingS that r possible

See therapist about this...

I dont want to give bad advice and him end up doing something 2 u