Androgynes and their birth gender. Love it, hate it, or don't care about it?

[je]

After doing very little research, I decided to post this up.

Although I've never truly hated my birth gender (male,) I've also never really loved it either. There seems to be quite a lot of ambivalence in my gender. Most of the time it doesn't matter to me. Sometimes it does. It just seems like every time I think about the opposite sex, a bit of regret or guilt begins to fill my heart. It is like why didn't I become that? Yet even so I never felt the need to transition.

Transitioning might make these feelings better, but I'm not sure it is the solution. I might try just getting surgery to make some of my male parts more androgynous. It seems to be more in line with me. In fact it is a great relief to think about it.

What I mean by surgery is maybe a minor brow reduction and a bit of a chin reduction with chin narrowing.

Anyone else feel sort of this way?

[Jaycie]

My personal thoughts are that female androgynes get it just a bit better than their male counterparts. To me this is true because not only do they have an androgynous mind, but also usually a very beautiful body. Something I can't help, but envy a bit. I might be wrong, but that is my opinion.

I think that assuming that one sex would have it better is a bit of the 'grass is greener on the other side' personally. "Female" sexed bodies can have just as many issues to overcome depending on how they choose to pursue their version of androgyny. Everything from large breasts to having to tolerate a menstrual cycle are reminders of their birth sex that they may not want in the least.

There are things about our bodysex that we dislike but rather than bemoan that fact we're choosing to take a more proactive stance and do something about it.

[je]

I'm sorry. You are correct.

I took one aspect of that, and ran away with it. I should be ashamed for doing that. I'll take that part down right now.


I might be "bemoaning." Yet even so I will do something. Although the concrete is still fresh, the something is in the making. I might just change my appearance a little bit, but it is still something.

[noeleena]

hi....  because we are not all the same.  how does it go.  does it only apply to our bodys . or as well our mind .   i see my self as both yet i have had the life of a male.   & now the other as a women its a hard one to get right may be we dont  , we are just both & thats it , in the middle some where . i dont hate it being like this.    now i enjoy what i have . i know i had help in being female & thats so neat.    yet i can not leave my past . so its just me   oh yea . to live life  to love life thats me ,,,, ....noeleena....

[Shana A]

I took one aspect of that, and ran away with it. I should be ashamed for doing that. I'll take that part down right now.

Just found this thread so I didn't see the part you took down. I dislike various physical aspects of my birth gender, so far not intensely enough to do surgery. What bothers me most is hair on body and losing hair on top of my head. I'm somewhat concerned about long term effects of HRT, otherwise I would do that so I could develop secondary sex characteristics.

Z

[Jora]

If a fairy godmother would ask me what sex I'd like to have most, and there would be no cost or treatments involved, I probably would change.
But it's not like I feel in any way impaired by my sex and it's really not a problem, but I think it would be simpler to appear androgyne as a female, but then, I could have been given big breasts and wide hips, which would even be more complicated to disguise. So I guess I'm not that bad off.

[Constance]

I don't hate my birth gender per se, but I do hate being covered in hair (arms, legs, chest, face, back, fingers, toes (I'm not kidding about the fingers & toes, either)).

I often wish I could simply lose all hair below my eye brow, that I would have 2 eye brows instead of one, and that I could have breasts.

I don't hate my body, but I do have some discomfort with it.

[Simone Louise]

I've  long (or forever) had the fantasy, that I'd meet someone who would make me female. And my mental image doesn't match my physical exterior. I don't make allowances for the wide-bodied model, so I'm constantly bumping into and kicking objects. Theodore Roethke, the poet, looked to me in a video like a dancing bear, and I feel that way when I see myself in a mirror or photograph. I do wish I had some grace and rhythm.

When my wife was a new mother and came home from her new mothers' support group, she would rail at men. When I would ask if I were like that, she'd say no, but I was of that sex. I hate that association.

On the other hand, my body works well, is short, has hair on top and only a little elsewhere. I got teased at work yesterday, because when asked if I needed help loading a package on the truck, I replied: "No, it only weighs 100 pounds." Granted, I just needed to roll it onto the truck, not to pick it up or carry it any distance.

If a sex change were as easy as marking the F box, rather than the M box, I'd go for it in an instant. I am not yet willing to pay the costs, monetarily or in physical and emotional pain, that I read about on the TS forums. I could ditch the beard, but don't like any of the alternatives. Some of you write of makeup as a first step. Makeup scares me--on myself and others. I've never even dated one who wore makeup regularly. Yet, on any test I've come across over the years, I score more feminine than my female SO.

Since the question is about birth gender, my answer is: I was born androgyne, and I love it. And I love having a body that turns on a person who loves the androgynous me.

S

[NickSister]

I no longer consider myself androgyne but even so I still don't feel all that far removed so I'm going to answer if you don't mind.

I never hated my male body. It looks good, works well, co-ordinated, strong enough, enduring enough, a good canvas for tattoos and it smells ok. Somewhat hairy but such is life. I can pee with the illusion of accuracy. But I don't feel right in it. It feels like I'm riding in a machine made of stuff that is not quite my own flesh. I run my hands over myself expecting to feel curves and get all straightness instead. I put on female clothing and I cry inside when it does not fit right. We are unhappy bed fellows my body and me, the odd couple, we work great as a team but only through nessessity.

I wonder if Robocop feels dysphoria?

[Laurry]

I don't hate my birth gender per se, but I do hate being covered in hair (arms, legs, chest, face, back, fingers, toes (I'm not kidding about the fingers & toes, either)).

I often wish I could simply lose all hair below my eye brow, that I would have 2 eye brows instead of one, and that I could have breasts.

Exactly, except I would say hair below the chin as I have a long standing love/hate relationship with my beard.  (As of Tuesday night, it's gone again...Yippee!)

Actually, I do like being able to tinkle while standing...comes in very handy at times.

If a sex change were as easy as marking the F box, rather than the M box, I'd go for it in an instant. I am not yet willing to pay the costs, monetarily or in physical and emotional pain, that I read about on the TS forums. I could ditch the beard, but don't like any of the alternatives.

Yep.  I'm not hurting bad enough to make those changes either.  For now I'll just play the hand I was dealt, but if I ever win the jackpot, watch out, baby!

I was born androgyne, and I love it. And I love having a body that turns on a person who loves the androgynous me.

Simone Louise, honey...that was beautiful.  (excuse me while I fix my eyes...guess that's why you don't much care for makeup, eh?)

I can pee with the illusion of accuracy.

LOL!!  Thank God I wasn't taking a drink when I read that one.  Priceless!


........L

[Simone Louise]

Laurry, your transformations are nothing short of amazing (or in the local vernacular: wicked awesome). When we meet at our next convention, you must teach me.

Not that you have a ponytail, but I've been watching women bent over while slipping on the elastic to form a ponytail, or converting said tail to a bun, and I can't figure out even those movements. I feel so clumsy.

At least, I can cook well enough that those who eat my food complement my wife.

S

[Kinkly]

some things i like some things i hate
some things Whatever

[Jaimey]

Not that you have a ponytail, but I've been watching women bent over while slipping on the elastic to form a ponytail, or converting said tail to a bun, and I can't figure out even those movements. I feel so clumsy.

I can make a ponytail, but I don't bend over to do it.    heh.  Mine never look as good as the 'girly girls', though.

Hmm...I'd say I'm mostly oblivious to my birth sex.  I could take it or leave it.  I'd say it's more convenient for me because 1.) I like men (I don't have to worry about telling my parents I'm gay or anything), 2.) I can wear makeup and skirts without getting beat up, 3.) I want to be a parent (which is just easier with a female body and a male partner, you know?).  In a perfect world, I'd rather have a male body, but I don't like the idea of more body hair than I already have or being bigger (my little brother is 14 and pushing 6'1"...no thanks). 

I can live with it.   

and by the way...

HOLY COW, LAURRY!!!!!!    You look awesome!!! 

[RebeccaFog]

Laurry always looks good.


I'd rather be a robot.           I'd like to have a female body, but that train has passed.

[Jaimey]

I can make a ponytail, but I don't bend over to do it.   

Correction...I COULD make a ponytail.  I got it all cut off today!  ...well, it's not that short...the bottom of my ear is (mostly) the longest part.  It's so much lighter!!!

[nathan]

What bothers me most is hair on body and losing hair on top of my head.

Pretty much this. 

[Eva Marie]

What bothers me most is hair on body and losing hair on top of my head.

Pretty much this. 

Same here.

I don't think i'd be any happier with a female body, so the body I was issued will do just fine.

[Laurry]

wicked awesome

I plead guilty to wicked, and not guilty to awesome.

HOLY COW, LAURRY!!!!!!

What?  Do I have something green stuck in my teeth?  Or are you just saying that because my fly is open??

Laurry always looks...[like] a robot.

You're just jealous because my plug is bigger than yours.

Seriously though, thank you, but you didn't see the outtakes and the closeups (and you won't either!!!)



Congrats Jaimey on the haircut.  I'm sure it is a bunch cooler also.

As far as hair on the body and the lack of it on top, let's just say that I will be spending money on hair transplants before I spend it on Electrolysis or Laser.  I can shave to get rid of hair, but it sure would be nice for my outer image to match my inner vision of myself without a wig.

I have also noticed that my unhappiness with my body has decreased since my breasts have started to grow a little.  Can't say for sure why, but looking down and seeing them (small as they are) seems "right" and I feel better about myself.  Still, I have no desire to go on to full SRS.

Actually, I think weight and age have more to do with how happy I am with this body than my birth gender.  Ahh...to be young, slim and have a full head of hair again.....

.......L

[BlackRabbit]

After doing very little research, I decided to post this up.

Although I've never truly hated my birth gender (male,) I've also never really loved it either. There seems to be quite a lot of ambivalence in my gender. Most of the time it doesn't matter to me. Sometimes it does. It just seems like every time I think about the opposite sex, a bit of regret or guilt begins to fill my heart. It is like why didn't I become that? Yet even so I never felt the need to transition.

Transitioning might make these feelings better, but I'm not sure it is the solution. I might try just getting surgery to make some of my male parts more androgynous. It seems to be more in line with me. In fact it is a great relief to think about it.

What I mean by surgery is maybe a minor brow reduction and a bit of a chin reduction with chin narrowing.

Anyone else feel sort of this way?

Sometimes, the fact is I can't stand having a female body, with breasts and curves, but I don't want a masculine body either. With facial hair and what not. I'm still glad I was born a girl cause it's alittle easy to become the way I want to look.

[Lukas-H]

I know exactly how you feel Je. I've been struggling with feelings like yours for a few years now. I haven't always know what androgyny was, but I always knew what the feeling was about not always loving the body I have.

Like others have said though I try to do the best with what I have and over the years, after having matured some, I'm a bit more ambivalent about it, usually pretty neutral towards how I feel about it. Sometimes I have terribly strong feelings about wishing to have a fully male body, the whole entire package.

Some people might say there is no 'wrong' reason for wanting to transition or have a different body than what you were born with, but I can't help but always feel like one of the reasons that I want to be male is 'wrong' or selfish. I think I have a mild (and sometimes feels more severe) cause of autoandrophilia. It took me a long time to figure out that it was that but after a lot of thinking I realized that that was a major reason for me wanting to have a male body. To me, I guess I feel like it's wrong to want a male body because I find the thought of it very erotic because I guess it feels like I'm sort of undermining all of those who wanted a body that more closely matches how they see themselves as a person.

Because to be honest, I don't see myself as just a female just because I have a female body, but I'm not willing to transition because I don't have the money or the will to do it. I've thought about it but it's not something that I think would resolve anything to a point that I'm comfortable with.