sexual arrousal and gender identity

[TheBattler]

Hopefully the cold will be better next week when I met her. She did not mention it to me last night. Maybe it developed over our night.

Alice

[Melissa]

Well, my morning was your night, so that's when she mentioned it to me.  Interesting.

Melissa

[sheila18]

  We want RSR because we want to look like a woman    and have the parts of a woman just like any woman would.  Now what drives us to SRS is another story.
sheila

[Melissa]

Sheila, I did not say that mental transition was all you had to do.  What I said is that the mental transition is just one aspect (albeit an important one) or transitioning. If you are living as a man in a dress (because that's what you will feel like), then you will not have a successful RLT no matter what you do.  You will not vibe female. 

Dressing in female clothes feels like the most natural thing in the world for me.  I was pretty quick with my mental transition and I was totally vibing female even when I was out in my "male disguise".  I do not fele ashamed or embarrassed and I just started living fulltime as female.

If you only transition mentally, but not physically, then the gender dysphoria will be worse than it ever has been.  Trust me on that.  The reason is because the mind and body have an even bigger incongruence.  Like I said, my mental transition was pretty quick and therefore I was forced to also make my physical transition pretty quick.  It was tearing me apart.  This is the reason for the force that keeps us going.  It is also the reason that we have been able to go so long without transitioning (because we haven't started the mental transition yet).

I could write a book on all of this stuff.

Melissa

[sheila18]

We really make it unecessarily harder on ourselves.  Once we accept it w/o reasons we are free.
Just my experience,
sheila

[sheila18]

  ohh
loove, sh

[sheila18]

 If  i worry too much about my identity, I would never be aroused, worry or doubts are like a cold shower for me & waste of time
sh

[Melissa]

you wrote:
" If you only transition mentally, but not physically, then the gender dysphoria will be worse than it ever has been. "
Worse?     This is an admision of Dysphoria having NOT disapeared, correct?

That is correct.  Trying to only transition to completely accepting you are a female in your body while is is still 100% male will result in the dysphoria getting worse.  In order to cope with the fact that we have male bodies, we attempt to think of ourselves as male.  This allows us to feel more aligned with what we see.  But as we get older, we start slipping out of that male mentality and the mental transition begins by itself and thus we come to the awareness that we are TS.

Melissa


Posted at: July 13, 2006, 11:41:46 PM

<Really Big Grin Here>

Follow squirrel Melissa.  Follow the squirrel.  Do it!

Cindi

I'm still adjusting to my new life, then I can follow squirrel.

Melissa

[Julie Marie]

You've described my experience to a T. I'm 55 now and went through pretty much exactly what you have. I have heard transitioning later in life is called secondary transsexualism. I don't know if what you described as your experience is common in secondary transsexualism but those I know who are transitioning later in life seem to talk of similar feelings and experiences in the past.

[BrendaQG]

This may upset some people but I feel obgliged to comment. 

I cannot identify with 90% of what has been said here.  When I was a very very little kid when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I would answer "I want to either be a bird or a woman."  I wanted to fly free like a bird but I though it much more likely I would grow into being a woman.  I thought if someone simply wanted it enough they would become a man or woman when they grew up.  I was almost right.

I simply cannot in all honesty say I was ever excited by wearing womens clothes.  I just honestly cannot say I have done that.  There are plenty of transsexuals who can say the same.

Peace.     

[Shannon]

StephB,

That pretty much describes me very well.  I actually started dressing up when I was 4 years old.  During my teenage years the act of dressing up in female clothing was more of a sexual turnon for me than anything else.  I am now in my early 40's and dressing up has become a nearly everyday occurance.  As I have gotten older dressing up is no longer a sexual turnon at all for me.  I now find dressing up is much more sensual than sexual.  I feel it brings the girl thats inside of me out so she can express herself freely as a woman.  I have not seen a gender therapist yet, but plan to see one soon.  I do suspect that I am a TS and suffer from Gender Disphoria.  As for my sexual orientation I think I am more bi-curious than anything else.  I find that I am mostly attracted to women and other t-girls if this makes sense.  I do not feel any attraction whatsoever to males.  Not sure how I would feel toward a female-to-male TS. 

Shannon