Establishing an identity in a not-yet-legal name

[kae m]

About a week ago I opened a private mailbox so I would be able to receive mail & packages that I would rather not get delivered to my home (living with parents).  A side benefit is that my parents have a bad habit of misplacing mail that comes for me, and that has made me miss payments on more than one occasion so I won't have that problem again...

What I would like to do though is start receiving mail and packages in my chosen name.  I would also like to start using my name with, well everything relating to my transition.  Am I asking for trouble later when I do go to change my name legally by doing this?  I don't want to do anything that looks like I'm trying to hide or become someone else, I just want to get my mail in my name.  Is it legal to use my name on something like a credit card, since they would clearly still know who I am?  Ideally that's what I would want to do, but I'm assuming that more than anything would just be begging to cause a problem later.

[Robin_p]

You go girl....

I dont see anything wrong with it.

I Blurred the line with my name. It was easy for me to go from R****** to Bobbi to Robin.
As for writing checks and legal documents i'm not sure.

My legal name change was in March and i have not had any problems with me using nicknames in the past. Most of my heartache is providing proof to everyone that my name was changed legally.

hope this helps..

[Beyond]

Is it legal to use my name on something like a credit card, since they would clearly still know who I am?  Ideally that's what I would want to do, but I'm assuming that more than anything would just be begging to cause a problem later.

There is an easy way around this.  You make yourself an authorized signature on your credit card account.  4 years ago, when I was first going out as myself, I noticed that Discover Card was offering secondary cards for others to use to charge to your account.  And here's the best part: they didn't require ANY personal information, just a name.  So after an embarrassing outing situation at an oil change place I sent for a secondary card in MY name.  As long as their is no fraud intended, that is you don't intend to claim the charges aren't yours, it is perfectly legal to do this.

It was kinda funny calling them a year later, when I did my legal name change, to explan that the secondary was now the primary    , but they had no problems with it.

[kae m]

I am mostly concerned about DHS & any issues with creditors because of it.  Like I don't want the FBI knocking on my door or to be denied a loan two years from now because I ordered a pair of socks under a name that wasn't legally mine yet, although I wouldn't put it past them.

I don't mind showing ID with my old name right now, I can only hope it becomes a problem using it sooner rather than later

The mailbox I am using is through UPS and isn't a PO Box, so I think I wouldn't have a hard time with ID.  Maybe if it does become a problem I can just add my new name as a person authorized to pick up my mail or something.  I'll have to look into what CT requires.

Beyond,
I hadn't thought of that, I should probably look into that too.  My parents had something like that set up for me when I was in high school that I could use in case there was an emergency, and it might be a quick fix for my situation.  I guess I would still need an ID with my new name, but if I move where I would like to I would be able to get a city resident ID without having to provide much legal status info.  It's mainly for undocumented immigrants, but it would help me too.

Thanks

[Beyond]

Is it legal to use my name on something like a credit card, since they would clearly still know who I am?  Ideally that's what I would want to do, but I'm assuming that more than anything would just be begging to cause a problem later.

There is an easy way around this.  You make yourself an authorized signature on your credit card account.  4 years ago, when I was first going out as myself, I noticed that Discover Card was offering secondary cards for others to use to charge to your account.  And here's the best part: they didn't require ANY personal information, just a name.  So after an embarrassing outing situation at an oil change place I sent for a secondary card in MY name.  As long as their is no fraud intended, that is you don't intend to claim the charges aren't yours, it is perfectly legal to do this.

It was kinda funny calling them a year later, when I did my legal name change, to explan that the secondary was now the primary    , but they had no problems with it.

part of the problem with this however, is that a LOT of places are now asking for ID with credit card, which could still lead to embarrassing outings....

I only had that happen once, when I bought my Mac computer ($1,500) 6 months before full-time.  But they were cool about it, they didn't even read my carry letter.  Maybe it's a northeast thing, stores up here very, very rarely ask for ID.

[KarenLyn]

Just a suggestion - similar to what Beyond posted - have your "not yet legal" name added to your mailbox account. If they required ID to pick up anything, either name would work.

My 2¢

Karen Lyn

[Kate]

What I would like to do though is start receiving mail and packages in my chosen name...

Oh I did that too before my name was legal, as most places ask for separate BILL TO and SHIP TO information. The SHIP TO could be anyone.

On the other hand, all of my CC companies wanted a Court Order before changing my name on the cards. But I like Beyond's workaround!

~Kate~

[Ms Bev]

Like Tasha Elizabeth, I use my first initial, and my full middle name (Beverly), then last.  I called my credit card companies, and told them that everyone that I do business with, and everyone I know, calls me by my common law name, Beverly.  "Could you issue a new card with that change for me?  Every time I use  the current one, people get confused.  "No problem", the lady said.  You should receive your new card in about 10 days.  Please make sure you destroy the old card.  Now, how do you spell your name?"
It was tooo easy.
Last week, Marcy went into the bank, and ordered new checks.  While she was there, she asked, "could you change Michael's name on the checks to M. Beverly?".  Again, "No problem".

I've opened new cards under Beverly, no problems.  I've set up all my various accounts under my female name.  Anywhere in the US, you can take a common law name, as long as its intent is not to defraud, or evade.  I believe the IRS even lets you include income earned under a different name, although I would stick a pencil in my eye before I would try that one.  I have guts, but I don't want them spilled by the federal govt.

If you decide to use a common law name, just make sure you are consistent.  Don't decide one day you are Donna, then the next week you're Alice.

Bev
aka M Beverly
aka Michael Beverly (that's for the ass-kickers)

[Beyond]

I've opened new cards under Beverly, no problems.  I've set up all my various accounts under my female name.

You've got to be careful as this doesn't always work.  I tried to open an account at a local Filene's before my legal name change a few years ago and it got rejected because the name didn't match my social security number.  It was an embarrassing 20 minutes in the store as the clerk disappered into a back room and I swear every employee within a radius of 750 feet had to come by and have a look at me.  So be ready for this to NOT work sometimes.

[MaggieB]

I took my new California Driver's license with the not yet legal name and gender of F  to the bank. California DMV form 328 allows trans folk to change photo, name and gender marker with only a doctors signature and NO court order.  I showed them this driver's license and asked for a courtesy debit Mastercard. Instead, they changed my name on the account and now I am Margaret on my checks and accounts. In fact, the person who did it asked who is this "Kurt" and I replied with a smile, "Oh, he is gone" and the fellow simply went on and changed it. I had to go back two more times to close old debit cards and to correct spelling errors and still no problems. Incredible.
I have been going into this neighborhood bank for ten years but this was the first time I went in being full time. A total of three clerks were involved at different times.

Maggie

[sneakersjay]

I took my new California Driver's license with the not yet legal name and gender of F  to the bank. California DMV form 328 allows trans folk to change photo, name and gender marker with only a doctors signature and NO court order.  I showed them this driver's license and asked for a courtesy debit Mastercard. Instead, they changed my name on the account and now I am Margaret on my checks and accounts. In fact, the person who did it asked who is this "Kurt" and I replied with a smile, "Oh, he is gone" and the fellow simply went on and changed it. I had to go back two more times to close old debit cards and to correct spelling errors and still no problems. Incredible.
I have been going into this neighborhood bank for ten years but this was the first time I went in being full time. A total of three clerks were involved at different times.

Wow, Maggie!  Cool!  I've been using my bank for >10 years, too, but it's a small town and I'm not sure I want all the name change stuff to be done there.  I've moved, and it will be the perfect opportunitity to switch banks when I change names and gender markers.  Now just to figure out which bank...I'm having issues with a national well known bank who calls if my car payment hasn't been posted 3 days after it's due.  Guess they're feeling the crunch and want to get paid, but geez it smacks of harrassment personally.

Jay

[MaggieB]

Jay,
My bank is one of the nation's largest! Sometimes, that can work in our favor as the employees are always having to figure out new systems as the bank swallows up other smaller banks. I wish you the best of luck in your situation.

Maggie

[Sheila]

 Before I changed my name legally and this was before all the security hoop la. I tried to use my chosen name on everything that I could. I did get a credit card with my chosen name on it but some companies, at that time, wanted proof of ID. I didn't have it so I couldn't change it. I did get a PO box with my chosen name and I have things sent there with that name on it. When I did get my name changed legally, everything just fell into place. I no longer had to go without ID and life got a whole lot simpler. I also got my gender marker changed at the same time.

[TreeFlower]

I used a credit card with my new name on it years before it was legally changed.  I just requested a new card and wrote in the form's margin something like "To avoid confusion at the checkout I'd like a card with this name.".   They got the idea.  Use any name you want as long as the signature is the same.

[Ms Jessica]

I've requested secondary credit cards with my chosen name on, that's not usually a problem.  You do have to be careful about being outed if they ask for ID, which a lot of mall stores do. 
Debit/Bank cards are a bit trickier, because you usually have to be one of the "owners" of the account to get one.  Every bank is going to be different, with its own set of rules, so having a card issued in your chosen name may not be possible without a DL or some kind of photo ID. 
Packages aren't usually a problem for me. 

[tekla]

Most debt cards are not even handled by the stores here anymore, you swipe it, you put in the pin, you say OK, they never know the name.

[MaggieB]

Most debt cards are not even handled by the stores here anymore, you swipe it, you put in the pin, you say OK, they never know the name.

I thought that was true until I glanced at the clerk's terminal and saw my male name, bright as day from my old debit MC. That was when I decided that I had to do something about this.

Maggie

[sneakersjay]

I thought that was true until I glanced at the clerk's terminal and saw my male name, bright as day from my old debit MC. That was when I decided that I had to do something about this.

Maggie

Um, Kurt?  He's my husband...cough..cough...

Jay

[MaggieB]

I thought that was true until I glanced at the clerk's terminal and saw my male name, bright as day from my old debit MC. That was when I decided that I had to do something about this.

Maggie

Um, Kurt?  He's my husband...cough..cough...

Jay

Been there, done that....
Maggie

[Ms Bev]

Um, Kurt?  He's my husband...cough..cough...

Jay

Not me.  I just say "Michael?  Yeah....it's my real first name.  Michael Learned may choose to use her first name, but I don't"
They shrug, and smile.  "Yeah, I guess so!"

Otherwise, so many people are worried about being outed.  I never worry about it, and it is very very rare that it happens.  It's always when I have an old customer return, and ask for Mike.  I look at them, smile, and say "I used to be Mike......some things change.  Now I'm Bev".  Beyond that, it has always been friendly, and now they come back looking for Bev.  I refuse to get all bent out of shape over this.



Bev
aka, "Mike is now Bev" to old acquaintances




Posted on: June 25, 2008, 09:33:54 AM

OK, they never know the name.

I thought that was true until I glanced at the clerk's terminal and saw my male name, bright as day from my old debit MC. That was when I decided that I had to do something about this.

Maggie
[/quote]


Yeah, I know the 'Michael' name comes up when the card is swiped, but soon I'll have my 'Beverly' bank card in the mail, and it won't matter at all.  In the mean time, I've used my bank card all over the place.  Clerks see the name, and know I'm a woman.  I sign it Beverly (same last name), and I've never even gotten a second look.  Ever.


Bev