Weird Conversation

[Melissa]

I was having dinner tonight alone.  I was out as male, since that's the name my credit card still has on it and when I was paying (male name credit card) the cashier (about a 40-year old middle-eastern man) was asking how I was doing.  Then he said that he wished he knew me before.  I was like "Huh?".  Then he said I had a personality similar to his sister-in-law.  So I'm really confused now.  He then asked if I was married or had a girlfriend, to which I lied and said no, since it's none of his business.

I'm thinking he saw my breasts and figured out I was TS, but didn't want to actually suggest it.  It was quite weird.    I guess I can't function as male anymore.   Maybe I should just go off and be a girl now. 

Melissa

[Melissa]

Then why would he ask if I had a girlfriend?  I also had my male name on my credit card.  Perhaps he thought I was FTM?

Melissa

[tinkerbell]

Well....I don't know the answer to your question.  Everything is possible, really,  if you think about it...probably he was testing the waters, and was trying to find out things without actually asking.....


tinkerbell

[Melissa]

Yeah, probably.

Melissa

[Hazumu]

I was out as male, since that's the name my credit card still has on it and when I was paying (male name credit card) the cashier ...>snip<

The credit card companies are more than happy to give you another card in a different name.  Of COURSE Karen is "also" an authorized user on all my accounts.  >

I just haven't figured out how to use them in person with my current RealID™®©

I now return you to your regularly-scheduled topic.

Karen

[HelenW]

I just haven't figured out how to use them in person with my current RealID™®©

Huh?  They ask for additional ID when you use a credit card?  I never heard of such a thing!  Or are you talking about not passing? 

In that case, ^*Oops!*

never mind

[Hazumu]

Hi, Helen;

I'm not out at work.  I have probably a year to go (HRT) before I begin to regularly get ma'am'ed.  Every time I hand over my credit card to a cashier, they demand to see a photo ID (this is Kalifornia,) and that ID shows my old name and old picture on it.  So, in person, I have to use the credit card with the old name on it >sigh<.

Last night I went to the SGA meeting en femme (I LOVE skirts...).  After that, Terri (Susan's very own Terri Gene...) and I headed over to Club 21 (the grrls' gay-bar,) for a little drinking and dancing.  The off-duty cop at the door 'carded' us.  I showed my drivers' license and, after he gave the nod, said in my best (to date) female voice, "I really HAVE to get that picture changed..."  He laughed.

...Dammit!  Hijacked the topic AGAIN!  Sorry, Melissa... 

Karen

[Melissa]

I already sent a copy of my name change document to the credit card company.  I'm just waiting for a new card.  I am also waiting for a letter from the DOL that says I can have them change my gender marker.  It should come next week, then I can get a new DL.

Melissa

[sheila18]

Melissa :
about that cashier, to bad you didn't say " hey what are looking down there my eyes are up here"

I used to go to this store run by 3 middle eastern brothers, sometimes as a boy and sometimes as a girl. As Sheila they each tried to flirt with me when each of them was alone with me. They were very polite,gave me discounts, small gifts  and asked a lot of personal questions but were afraid to ask me out [ i have a personal policy of not hitting on males unless they initiate or we meet at a gay event, saves headaches about undercover cops and its the right thing to do, I wait ]. Until one day at 2am one of them saw me walking from the bar and offered me a ride home in his car, once alone he acted differently. his Religion was totally against 2 men together but they did not considered me a man, interesting isn't it. They were always very nice men.
Sheila

[Rana]

Melissa,
He was probably gay and was picking up on signals you may have been giving out?  He could have been testing the waters.

How obvious were your breasts?  I wonder if that was what he was noticing?  Your fingernails, eyebrows, complexion would have been more revealing I suspect.

His statement that he "wished he knew you before",  now that sort of begs the question before what?  you should have asked him

Could it be that he was not fully conversant in English and did not really mean to say what he said?

Rana

[LostInTime]

I had to buy my new car while trying to be in drab due to the name change issues.  The person doing the loan paperwork and I danced quite elegantly around the whole T issue and each of us even tried to get the other to say something a bit more obvious.  I have been tempted to ask my therapist if I could sit in on the Transman group to see if he is there.  He was quite attractive and I would have to say that if it were not for the bit of verbal dancing we did, it would have been very difficult for me to have clocked him (and he, me although neither one did admit it).

[Melissa]

First of all, I don't think he was staring at my breasts (which were kind of obvious due to the shirt I was wearing), so there was no point telling him to look at my eyes.  Secondly, he was very fluent in english.  He just had an accent, but his language use seemed to be good.  It's possible he may have clocked me as gay, although as previously mentioned, it's against their religion for 2 men to be together.  By the way, this was at a middle-eastern restaurant.

Melissa

[sheila18]

melissa:
am sorry honey, I know that he did not get caught by you  looking at your chest, I was just being silly, making a joke at your expense i guess, sorry.
I agree with RAna about the " i wish i knew you before " thinggy.  I think that in my situation that is the beauty and power of being tg/TS as oppossed to being a girl. No mater how well I had passed as a woman in the past God would always send someone to read me and reveal me someone like a child, another ->-bleeped-<- a situation that forced my adrenaline to shoot up in order to help someone.  As a ->-bleeped-<- people hate or love me, the beauty of it is that I don't have to wait for  " a second round " to discover if they are with me or against me, primiveal? yes but that is entirely another topic.
I wonder if your reaction is a leftover from your ->-bleeped-<- days. We spend a lot of time and energy "passing" that it becomes second nature  for us to scope the situation out and make sure is ok, perhaps with time you might even forget to wonder at all.
sheila

[Melissa]

No worries about the joke.  I was presenting as a male at the time, which is why the conversation was weird.  I tend to pass well, but I also don't care so much if people know I'm TS, except if they start staring at me.  I accidentally outted myself in public yesterday by saying the word "transsexual" when I was talking to somebody and people started staring.  I had to leave immediately because I felt uncomfortable.  Most people who know me, know I'm TS and I'm fine with that as long as they treat me as a lady (which I think everyone does).

When he said he wished he knew me before, the question of "before what?" was going on in my head and as I was trying to probe, the conversation started getting weirder.  Just to add to the weirdness, I think the guy worked at a different location under the same name and I had gone there often as male and I thought he may have been referring to before he changed locations at first.

Melissa

[Chynna]

Ah to present as a male.........I love those stories I couldn't if I tried last time Back around thanksgiving I was in the bank cashing a small personal check ( I was a girl then but still had my male pic on my ID PA is very very strict about retaking your photo once they have it on file so my DL still had my 16yr old pic of me has a boy!) anyway im standing at the teller window and I hand her my check an id so she begins "processing" it now theres a teller next to her (Business teller) that took 3 business customer while im still standing there...I was like "sweetie is there a problem?" she just went into explain she was cross referencing thing...  being that I work for like 21 different banks and know way to much about Item processing (hell I helped design the PC system the chic was using!) i was like "Cross referencing stuff like what? "
She replied signature cards, similar items, etc. ( OK I know thats bullshyt but she was scared to say Im confused) So I just stared at her and sad "listen sweetie I know your a little confused about the ID but its me and Yes thats my account and the amount is so minut ($100) It shouldn't take this long..Now instead of having me stand here and stare at you for fifteen minutes perhaps you should communicate or at least try to communicate the issue you were having with me and my ID"

After that my lawyer wrote a request to the DMV asking them for a camera card for me so I could retake my photo (he used the pics I post in transitions for documentation) needless to say I got an up to date photo on my license now!

Chynna

[sheila18]

melissa:
Posing as a boy?  sweetheart you just gave me a new goal, dream that one day my problem will be passing for a boy...that will be something to celebbrate, for me. I just checked you pix in the avatar, you are right, you are a girl!! my god what are you doing here in this plce of hedonnism a sweet innoccent thing like you...
yep you would have a hard time passing ...
oih sh-t! 
I got it Melissas he thought that you used to be a girl!  aahhhhh!!
yes he spot you as a TS but a Female to Male TS... I f----g love it.
you are the bomb Melissa
love , sheila

[Melissa]

As I said earlier:

Then why would he ask if I had a girlfriend?  I also had my male name on my credit card.  Perhaps he thought I was FTM?

Melissa

Anyhow, it doesn't really matter.  I'm female all the time now.

Melissa

[Chaunte]

Huh?  They ask for additional ID when you use a credit card?  I never heard of such a thing!  Or are you talking about not passing? 

In that case, ^*Oops!*

never mind

Oh, yeah!  A number of stores are asking for a photo ID when taking your credit card.  This is done to help prevent identity theives from running up your bill.  If you want to avoid the photo ID, get a bank card that can be used as either a credit card or electronic check.  If you enter a PIN number, the clerks don't ask for an ID.

Chaunte

[LostInTime]

When I picked up my laptop at Best Buy, they hit me up for photo ID and then did the doublecheck, LOL.  Last time I buy a laptop in a store from them though.  Had to go through their stupid Geek Squad check out procedures which wasted 40 minutes of my life.