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[tammygirl2]

Hey guys sorry i havent been on for a long time iv had login problems on my old id.

Alot has happened since i last visited susans.

I was attacked and my life was threatened and becuase of this i was forced to move home with my parents which resulted me having to give up cross dressing.

After i was attacked i lived with my god mother for 3 days i couldnt return to my home to get my feminine things and my mum went through all of my things which upset her. I felt that i had to promise my mum that i would give cross dressing up iv been 3 months without cross dressing and it sucks.

Where i am living at the moment i cant cross dress but i want to.
I am due to move again in 2 months time then hopefully i can start c/d again.
Untill then iv thought of other ways i can keep happy, I still use skin care stuff and shampoo which makes my hair shine and iv also thought about getting some knickers so wear under my boxershorts.
I can hide a few things in my laptop bag and my parents done touch my laptop bag so atleast thats something.

When i was attacked i was rushed in to hospital with a strangalated hernia
which im recovering from.

in a strange sort of way my life is better then it way apart from i miss my old home like crazy and i can only use the internet at the library for free or at the pub using wireless at £4.50 a hour.

I can now move on with my life get a job and start to build a life for myself away from home then i can be my fem self.

Hope to come back on here in a few days time.

love sarah/tammy

[stephanie_craxford]

Hey guys sorry i havent been on for a long time iv had login problems on my old id.

Alot has happened since i last visited susans.

I was attacked and my life was threatened and becuase of this i was forced to move home with my parents which resulted me having to give up cross dressing.

After i was attacked i lived with my god mother for 3 days i couldnt return to my home to get my feminine things and my mum went through all of my things which upset her. I felt that i had to promise my mum that i would give cross dressing up iv been 3 months without cross dressing and it sucks.

Where i am living at the moment i cant cross dress but i want to.
I am due to move again in 2 months time then hopefully i can start c/d again.
Untill then iv thought of other ways i can keep happy, I still use skin care stuff and shampoo which makes my hair shine and iv also thought about getting some knickers so wear under my boxershorts.
I can hide a few things in my laptop bag and my parents done touch my laptop bag so atleast thats something.

When i was attacked i was rushed in to hospital with a strangalated hernia
which im recovering from.

in a strange sort of way my life is better then it way apart from i miss my old home like crazy and i can only use the internet at the library for free or at the pub using wireless at £4.50 a hour.

I can now move on with my life get a job and start to build a life for myself away from home then i can be my fem self.

Hope to come back on here in a few days time.

love sarah/tammy

Hello there.

Sorry but I can't recall how old you are but in any event your room, personal belongings and anything else that is yours is private and others should not be prying or touching your stuff without permission.  If nothing else I would politely request the your parents stay out of your personal belongings.  How would they like it if you started rooting through their stuff.

On the other hand (four fingers and a thumb) you said that you only have to endure this for two more months so may be you can endure this for that short period, if it avoids you loosing your accommodation.  However I still do not subscribe to anyone prying into personal things.  I don't even go into Gillian's things and we've been together for over 33 years.

Just my 2 cents.

Steph

[tammygirl2]

Im am 22 i didnt have much choice becuase i couldnt return home to pack my things up.Its hard becuase i lost 3 years of clothes makeup n jewellry & things but i will rebuild my collection thats all i can do and i know they wont touch my laptop bag so all should be well i hope.

[Melissa]

Hi Tammygirl.  It's been a while.  I'm sorry you were attacked, but I'm glad to see that it didn't frighten you to want to give up CDing.

Melissa

[Jillieann Rose]

Hello Tammygirl.
It's good to hear from you again. Sounds like you are make the best out of a bad situation. That good. Keep looking to the future. Two months will be here before you know it.  Here's a though; there no reason why you can't wear a necklace and a bracelet if you want, alot of guys wear them.
Keep your chin up girl,

Jillieann

[tammygirl2]

Im trying to make the best of things but i guess things dont always go according to plan.Today i planned to go buy a braclet & some lingerie but
i couldnt get in to town to get them becuase there was a 4 hour trafic jam lol.

I am at my local town right now but theres nothing much here only a pharmacy which sells makeup i am toying with the idea of going to get some nail varnish but i have butterflies in my tummy.

its been a while since iv shopped for feminine things.

I have decided now that i dont want to go on living as my male self i am going to try build a life of my own as a fem self i have thought about this for some time ,i feel that i want a sex change, its not going to be something i can achive soon but its my goal iv got to get to college to go on this computer course first and iv got to get a job and a place of my own to live and even after i have done the above i might loose my parents they might not want to know me any more but i cant stay living life being unhappy just wishing i was female and just hating the being male just to keep my parents happy ,As selfish at that sounds i just cant carry on living as a male.

iv got alot more to think about but i know deep down inside this is what i want the hardest part will be telling my parents also if i start work get a job then get a sex change where would i really stand becuase i would have started work as a man then after a sex change i would be a female and also which toilets would i use male or fem.

As i said its going to be hard but its what i want.

[stephanie_craxford]

I have decided now that i dont want to go on living as my male self i am going to try build a life of my own as a fem self i have thought about this for some time ,i feel that i want a sex change, its not going to be something i can achive soon but its my goal iv got to get to college to go on this computer course first and iv got to get a job and a place of my own to live and even after i have done the above i might loose my parents they might not want to know me any more but i cant stay living life being unhappy just wishing i was female and just hating the being male just to keep my parents happy ,As selfish at that sounds i just cant carry on living as a male.

It seems that you have the makings of a great plan, the success of which will be key to you being able to go forward.  Just remember to keep your plan flexible that way you will be able to make adjustments and allowances for those inevitable gremlins that will creep into your life.

Take care.

Steph

[Melissa]

...then after a sex change i would be a female and also which toilets would i use male or fem.

You use the toilet of the gender you are presenting as.  I am living fulltime as female and I always use the women's restroom.  When I was living parttime, I tended to avoid men's restrooms and just used unisex bathrooms if presenting as male or female restrooms when presenting as female.  You don't want to be looking like a woman and go into a men's restroom for 3 reasons:

1. You out yourself unnecessarily.
2. You can freak out the other guys.
3. You may be attacked for outting yourself unnecessarily in a guys only domain.

I can kind of remember what you look like from when you posted your picture before.  I remember you had a hairy chest in that picture, so you would want to do something about that.  Other than that, just the fact that you are young play well to your advantage in terms of being passable.

I have to agree with Stephanie.  My reality did not go according to plan.  I figured I would try to go fulltime by the end of the year, maybe longer depending on how things went and I wasn't feeling any sort of sense of urgency back then.  Then I moved the date to October, then Sepetember, then August, and well... I've been living fulltime for 3 days now.  Also, you may run into some difficulties such as money troubles that could slow your transition down.  I would recommend sticking with a general plan, but plan to change dates.  Or you could set milestones (such as being ma'amed while dressed as male, begin able to go without a wig) and when you reach those, then it's time to go onto the next step.

I don't know if you are seeing a therapist, but seeing one can really open some doors in terms of getting letters.  Also, there will need to be some mental adjustments as well as going from "wanting to be female" ot "owning that you are female".  I know Kate is going through such a stage at the moment.  I went through that during the end of last year and the beginning of this year.  I call that the mental transition.

Good luck.

Melissa

[sheila18]

You don't want to be looking like a woman and go into a men's restroom for 3 reasons:
2. You can freak out the other guys.
3. You may be attacked for outting yourself unnecessarily in a guys only domain.

My reality did not go according to plan.
I don't know if you are seeing a therapist, but seeing one can really open some doors in terms of getting letters. Also, there will need to be some mental adjustments as well as going from "wanting to be female" ot "owning that you are female".
Good luck.
Melissa

yep I got t agree with Melissa:

Therapists can make great advocates especially in the work place.
  Here in this city We have a thing called EAP [employee Assistance Program] and is a referal system that helps employees with a wide realm of personal obstacles. Credit, legal, medical, yoga, blah.  Is completely confidential. It saved my job a couple of times.
Love, sheila

[tammygirl2]

Thank you for your advice guys, In terms of plans im planning to take it one step at a time im not going to set a date if i would it may have to be a year from now, it seems to be a logn way of before i can make any big changes but its just the little things that keep me happy.

As long as i got a few fem things it makes me happy.
my cash flow isnt good at the moment becuase i took out a loan from my parents for a laptop for college work but hopefully in a month i will have paid them back then i can budget more for things.

These past 2 days i started buying feminine things again and im happier already.Its been about 6 months since i had feminine things.
So far i got some nail varnish & also some remover & today i got a bangle/bracelet.

Next week if all goes well im getting some hair removal stuff to remove excess body hair & maybe some lingerie.

After iv finished the computer course and got a job i can look in to other things.

Im not currently seeing a therapist i was up untill i was attacked but i want to get one again ,I saw the doctor about it and iv got to wait 6 months before i can see one. I tried to tell my doctor how i feel but i just couldnt tell him about wanting to be a fem, Even if i did i doubt theres much that could happen because im still living with my parents (i think they would notice if i started HRT).

tammy/sarah

[Melissa]

Im not currently seeing a therapist i was up untill i was attacked but i want to get one again ,I saw the doctor about it and iv got to wait 6 months before i can see one. I tried to tell my doctor how i feel but i just couldnt tell him about wanting to be a fem, Even if i did i doubt theres much that could happen because im still living with my parents (i think they would notice if i started HRT).

tammy/sarah

I remeber telling my doctor for the first time.  It was November 1, 2005.  I was so scared and after I told the nurse and then the doctor that I wanted to talk about "transgender issues", they were so reassuring that I felt much better afterwards.  I was basically asking for a referral to a therapist, but it was scary.

By the way, is it Tammy or Sarah?

Melissa

[tammygirl2]

tammy is the name i known on here as but i decided to change it to sarah.


Posted at: July 14, 2006, 09:51:59 AMBefore the death of my uncle (he passed away yesterday) I had planned to build a life of my own get a job a place to live becuase i wanted to have a sex change i decided this after alot of thinking i knew i would have to move away and live on my own if i wanted to have a sex change becuase my parents wouldnt like it i might even not have been able to see my parents any more because of my choice and i thought i was ok with that but since my uncle died its made me think about life and death and if i did move out get a sex change and live on my own and i didnt get to see my parents nay more and anything happened to them it would really mess me up.I love my parents so much and god knows what i would do without them.

I still want the sex change but i couldnt not see my parents any more becuase of it but at the same time im not happy being male anymore.

[Melissa]

Tammy,as everyone keeps telling me, even though they may not accept it right away, they should eventually with enough time.  The important thing is to stay in communication with them.

Melissa