Yeah, they're treating me like crap, but truthfully, I know Nero's advice is the best to follow; my folks could always kick me out with nothing but the clothes on my back. I have no money, terrible credit (due to all the student loans), and friends with whom I could stay maybe a month at the most, though most of them are back in Indiana. My car is near dead, and with the rising costs of gas, it'd be near impossible for me even to get out of the state on what I (don't) have. There's also my meds to consider... my mom is the only one who can pay for them, and I can't do without them, unless I want to go straight back into the miserable depression I was in prior to my treatment. I am working off a debt to them, but I'm working off a debt to everyone else, too; I owe my grandmother for her help with my rent when I almost got kicked out, and I owe the hospital for my stay in the emergency room when I hit rock bottom back in February (prior to treatment for my depression). Then I have to think about getting money so I can move back out on my own again, and start paying off student loans. Pretty much, I'm stuck, and it seems the more I try to assert myself to my parents, the more they knock me down with their biting criticisms.
I have tried to demand respect from my brother, but the problem is that, regardless of his being 7 1/2 years younger than me, my parents have always treated him like the king of the castle, and they condone any of his behavior, regardless of how uncouth it might be. I'm trying to just deal with it, because my brother, while a jerk at times, is my only ally out here. I think he's just being influenced more and more by the cracked ideals of my folks and their somewhat extremist church.
And Taylor, I'm trying. I'm trying to see the good in my mom. The problem is, most people will listen to your point of view and at least try to understand it before totally rejecting it, and my mom acts as if everything is just the way she's always known it to be, and nothing could possibly change that. If I came out to my folks, they would undoubtedly disown me. My brother would most likely still be a part of my life, because he's not anywhere near as crazy as the folks are (and I have suspicions about his sexuality, anway), but I'd never see or talk to my parents again. And until I get entirely on my feet, that would be impossible to take... it could mean the total and utter destruction of my future. So unless anyone needs a roommate who is currently unemployed and in awful debt, I'm stuck here.
Rafe
oh, and thank you so much, everyone, for your support.
