When I walk with my friends in the street, they say that nearly everybody watches me. After walking together in the street, one woman once said to me that she thought people looked at her because of her new clothes, but later she realized that they actually looked at me. She commented that I typically look queer. I seldom heard that people look at me because of my beauty. Several weeks ago, my male friends once commented that I look like a model and people look at me. But, in most cases, my close friends and colleagues comment that my appearance is unordinary and unfashionable. I usually have to agree on it.
It's Sunday. I got a cold after wearing very short tees yesterday night, but it became hot after noon.
I went out with athletic short pants and my favorite cold-shoulder tees for juniors. I sat on the bench to wait for a public bus. It was a crossroad with traffic signals. Traffic was rather heavy, and cars passed me after finishing their weekends. I noticed that about half of drivers in the car watched me through car windows. Also some women in cars studied me. A few people even turned their heads back to me. I wore a sunglass and they probably did not realize that I also looked at them.
On the contrary, one guy who waited for the bus with me never dared to look my eyes, but he sat next to me. I thought that the car window functions as a kind of fence and they dare to look what they ordinary hesitate to do in the street. It's like a TV screen.
I rode on the public bus. It was crowded and I stood. Despite my unusual height as a woman, passengers daren't glare at me. They responded to me as if I am an ordinary passenger.
I took a walk along the beach. It was more crowded than I expected. The beach was just opened. Some men looked at me but they quickly avoided my eyes. Some women looked at me for a longer time than men. A teenager riding on his bicycle nearly bumped on the wall while looking at me.
I also study expression of people who look at me. Some become strained Some people smile at me. I guess that people smile at me when they consider me as a woman. In other cases, their expression look gloomy.
What I wish is people look at me because I look beautiful. But, in the real world, I think it is a mixture of my queerness and hopefully my beauty.
It was a nice Suday.
Barbie~~
